Saturday, January 31, 2009

It's Yours Too

Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible but not everything is constructive." 1 Corinthians 10:23

One of my favorite lines in Willy Wonka is from the teacher Mr. Turkentine, "I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday, which means that the test we take each Friday on what we learned during the week will now take place on Monday before we've learned it. But since today is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest. Pencils ready!"

I am finding it hard to be accountable to write daily about my days occurrences when New York City days seem to start later and go longer. So in not following Turkentine's advice and writing about today's events before they happen, I'm taking a less obtuse approach and recapping the day before....
I was invited to a rum punch birthday party last night in my neighborhood. A friend of a friend. It started at 11pm. Now this was either a typical or atypical New York party. It was in a high rise apartment building with a doorman. He had to turn a key in the elevator to ride up. The doors opened into her apartment, the whole floor....We were gleefully greeted by two girls in Carhart jumpsuits and fur stoles (patrons of the party), hugged and were immediately handed whippits.
For those of you not up on your urban dictionary, I'll explain.
Whippit: A small canister of nitrous oxide gas (N2O) often used recreationally to for its dissociative or psychoactive effects. In short, MORONIC! You might think I was judging them, but in the words of Apostle Paul, some things just don't build me up, and depriving my brain of oxygen on purpose falls under that category.
I declined. Besides, I was senseless and 18 once in my life.
With the risk of giving this party a bad name, I must say quite the contrary. Everyone is alive here and no one is posturing. All truly seem to be themselves and making no excuses for it. The dancing was real and uninhibited. The genuine smiles and attentive listeners were abundant and each soul I encountered was incredibly inviting and accepting regardless of if my choices didn't jibe with theirs. I walked home down Broadway amongst the barricades, screaming sirens, and people peeing in the street and the words of Bobby Brown kept ringing in my ear.

"Every body's talking all this stuff about me. Why don't they just let me live? Tell me why I don't need commission. Make my own decisions. That's my prerogative"

Is their anything in your life that isn't promoting growth?

Friday, January 30, 2009

Moving and Shaking

"Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth." Proverbs 10:4

Seeing is not necessarily believing. At first glance this city appears to be in constant motion and productivity. Someone seems to be rapidly going or coming at all hours of the day. But then you look closer into the lives around or peer through your window to the tenant next door and a good many are sitting idle waiting to see what comes to them. Seriously, I'm watching one now. A woman I met actually said to me with all the walk ups (no doorman) in New York, people could feasibly stay in their apartment for weeks and go unnoticed.
And as cozy as it may be to stay under my down comforter in this weather, I woke with a clatter but I admit it was a melancholy clatter.

Last night, I had dinner with an old friend. Since the day I met her 22 years ago, she has been chasing one dream... to be a theatre actress. She recruited me into doing musical theatre when we were children and she has been pursuing it since. A focus. She commended me for my efforts, Babysitters4Hire, Dogwalkers Do, The Apple Store, to name a few and told me because of my energy and drive, the opportunities would keep presenting themselves. I hope. My AMEX was declined.
This morning over a treated coffee at a french bakery in Tribeca surrounded by strollers and nannies I explained my doleful career pursuits. I've applied to be an article writer for Examiner.com in NY, sent my resume as a copy editor for HBO, contacted Sesame Workshop, and implored the folks at Jeffrey to take me under their wing.

Feeling slightly defeated this afternoon and with $1 and change in my pocket, I realized my Friday night on the town would consist of wandering my new neighborhood.
Satiating myself with a purse full of chocolates I took from craft services, I walked eight blocks to my local Whole Foods and experienced my first starving artist New York moment...samples on Friday night! Green chicken curry and potatoes, jalapeno tuna on baguette, cucumber dip and red pepper hummus, and the best of all Organic Peak Pale Ale.
With a content belly, I walked up the street and into a private school to filled out their substitute teacher paperwork. Call me. And home to two glorious emails...one, Examiner is considering me to write articles on Christianity in the city and two, Law and Order, SVU needs me to play a coffee shop patron in an upcoming episode.
Great! Coffee and Christianity. I do both.
Thank you Lord.

Are you waiting for it to just fall in your lap?

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Someone to Believe

"If I have walked in falsehood or my foot has hurried after deceit, let God weigh me in honest scales..."Job 31:5


One of my favorite New Yorkers wrote, "If you search for tenderness it isn't hard to find. But if you look for truthfulness, you might as well be blind." Is honesty so hard to give and is yourself so hard to be?
I can't remember when and am vague on the why, but at some point in my life, I became guarded. Call it private, cautious, conspiracy theorist, or what have you, I stopped divulging my deepest and darkest to people in my life. Now, what you see is and has always been the truth. I am consistently kind in manner, adventuresome by nature, and strong with my beliefs, but there's more to that story.
One of my strongest desires is to be known. All of me, my heart, head, my fears, dreads but have refrained because I didn't trust other people's intentions. I thought this was playing it safe. This take on life is a misnomer.

I've been thinking about this a great deal since I arrived, one generalization I brought to the city has remained thus far intact. New Yorkers love to tell their story. And believe me they all have one, and have no qualms about sharing it with strangers nor the consequences their words may have. And I am not talking about tall tales of extravagance or fame-filled enterprise. I'm talking about the raw. The nitty-gritty. The certainty. I love this.
It takes the guessing out of the game. Here's the truth, sugar coating covers up the real flavor!

So, after spending a good part of a 24 day with perfect strangers, I found myself disseminating the span of my life to every drifter who would listen. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
People called me brave, confident, uncertain, hard-working, calm, crazy, behind-the-times, headstrong and willing and able. But at the end of the day and with the more people I meet, I just want to be known as HONEST.

Do you walk the walk and talk the talk? Are you wearing your heart on your sleeve?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

It's Industry Lingo

"For this reason anyone who speaks in a tongue should pray that he may interpret what he says." 1 Corinthians 4:13

Forgive me as I will be brief. Just broke from a 15 hour day on the set shooting a few scenes from an hour long episode of Cupid. Call Time: 11AM in the snow Wrap: 3 AM, just cold

Non-Union, Non-SAG, AFTRA, Equity, crafty(this is food),Casting, principal, lead, stand-in, vouchers hair, makeup, wardrobe , meal penalty pay, and oh the beloved Waiver- 3 of these gets you into the promised land, that is if you are an aspiring actor.
This is just a tasting of the subculture terminology of Extras on the set.

I spent the majority of my day in holding with other members of background, an ordained minister, a retired NYPD Sergeant, a Brooklyn born health care developer, an Aussie, a German, a comic named Gabriele, a jazz musician, and a healthy mix of musical theatre buffs. Everyone was there for a common goal. stardom or grocery money.
As I climbed the marble staircase into the lobby of The Carlton Hotel for the last take at 2:45 AM, My bloodshot eyes looked around....the lead actors, the gaffers, the art directors, props, and screaming PA's were all still there giving it there best.
And while I may not speak their language, it is clear to see; Everyone works hard in this industry.

Are you as tired as I am?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

You Gotta Walk Through It

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Luke 11:10

I had an idea of what I wanted to do for a living when I came here. It was certainly related to television, characteristic of writing, and similar to reporting with MTV circa Martha Quinn undertones. And when I woke this morning my intentions were certainly to follow through on that path.
Hot shower, long underwear, two sweaters, wool scarf, down jacket, snug gloves, toboggan hat, and GO... I made the short commute four doors up to Conti's incredible office space with bench seats in the floor to ceiling windows overlooking Broadway. An absolutely creative haven.

Basically the mission at hand was to design two resumes, one that caters to my television/broadcasting experience with an emphasis on sports (Giants not Yankees) and the other just emphasizing my life experience and capabilities, basically how much can I handle and for how long (New Yorkers prefer the latter). Tweaked and ready with a few pieces of flair, I ran the gamete from Nickelodeon, MTV, Turner, to Bloomberg Television. Nick Jr. is actually hiring for a preschool PA. I don't necessarily know what it entails but I clicked Apply to Job tab anyway. One step closer to children's television.

And while I could have played the waiting game, I explored the multitude of options New York has to offer in a freelance world. Central Casting holds open registration two days a week one hour a day. The company assigns principal and background roles for local shows such as Law and Order, In Treatment, Gossip Girl and you get the picture.
Guess who was there in the front of the line? Yep. The clock struck 4 and I walked through the door to a painless procedure of paperwork, bust, hips, and waist measurements, digital photos, and a wing and prayer. It was an absolutely exhilarating experience as I thought how profitable playing a corpse at a crime scene would look on my resume....See she's even capable of playing dead. And after an hour and half of worthy time and three head shots later, they casted me as an extra on the ABC Disney show Cupid spreading love in NYC.
I have to laugh. Tomorrow. My first day of work in the big city is on the small silver screen. How do you like them Apples? Just keep knocking...

When is the last time you took a bite out of life?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Lovely Lady

"I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me." Matthew 25:35

For over a century, The Statue of Liberty has symbolized freedom, hope, and the valiant power of the United States of America. She has greeted immigrants as they made their journey to the land of opportunity. Lady Liberty has welcomed refugees, wanderers, missionaries, beatniks, deadbeats, sojourners and iconoclasts. She has shined on her best and stood firm in our worst.
Today, she shone bright on me.

I took the free IKEA ferry off of Pier 11 to Brooklyn. I kid you not. An IKEA ferry named the Mickey Murphy. It was loaded down with mamas and baby strollers, excited shoppers, bags of castoff items returning to the shelves and ME. The absolute novelty of taking an Irish named vessel across the East River in the dead of winter already had me giddy but then, there she was....standing tall against a clear blue sky with such conviction. I cried out. Her grace and her posture took my breath away. She is an amazing patriotic symbol and it was in that moment I realized I am just one of so many to leave what was and come to what could be....
Now, hold on, I am not saying I fled from hardship and oppression in search of a safer life. I didn't. But I am here in search of something else. Something better.

I rode home with the same view and was so grateful for her open arms to me and the many that came before me. The hospitality I have experienced in my short time here has been overwhelming. People are sticking their necks out, taking me in, buying me lunch, offering sound advice, inspiring me and lovingly welcoming another stranger into their lives.

So, "Keep on loving mutually. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:1

What does that imply?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

He Got Me Here

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5


There are approximately 8,310,212 people in New York City living, breathing, working, begging, striving, and succeeding. Over eight million. It's the largest city in the United States, a financial mecca rich with cultural diverseness flying nearly every flag in our great world. It is a constant. And not one of us is here by accident. Everything is happening according to plan. And by His glorious design, every last one of us is a planned masterpiece. Do you believe me?

I woke up early this morning to meet my cousin at her church in Times Square, C3 Manhattan. I chose to take the C train, actually let me rephrase that, I walked extra blocks on Canal unbeknownst to me that all trains lead to OZ or at least to 42nd Street. When I walked underground, there was one man on the platform.... Just one. Naturally, I said Good Morning. He asked me how we knew each other. I shared my hopes for New York and me in it. Do you know he shook my hand and verbally welcomed me to his city? I am not sure I ever did that in Atlanta.
I came up on 40th street and ran smack into the absolutely radiant New York Times Building. If it is possible to be star struck by an office building, I was. Turns out, the church is also in the building. A repose in the middle of the chaos and an auditorium full of the body of Christ, raising their hands and glorifying God. I was floored. Let me be very clear, I did not expect to see such worship in this town. Again, New York chipped away at it's own stale stigma.

The message was what I have believed and trusted in my entire life. That God knows me. He created me. He is the beginning and the end. He knows my past, present, and future. He designed me for a specific purpose and that direction is uniquely mine. To make matters even more glorious, there are over 8 million of those purposes all snug tightly on this island called Manhattan. How then can we not embrace creation if we know we are here to do the Lord's workmanship?

I have friends and family that are questioning my move or my motives. They worry about me leaving home, my husband, and my safety net. I don't. This is part of His plan.... God knows me and He got me here!

Again, do you believe me?

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Wiser Time

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. James 4:14

Here is the trouble with a daily blog in the city that never sleeps. When you become wrapped up in all it has to offer and the opportunities at hand...you fall prey to the idea that life and New York will always be here. I am not promised tomorrow.
So out goes Scarlett O'hara and her idea of not worrying about today. Fiddle-dee-de. When we open our eyes, it's all we are guaranteed.

So today, I froze my butt off in pursuit with the idea that today could be the best or my last day.

Met an absolutely amazing friend from my past today on Spring and Mott to discuss "my future" at an apropos named Gimme Coffee! He was running late so I sat on a bench in 25 degree weather and soul searched with a pure coffee drinker Peter about why he fears so much in this life. For example, falling out his second floor window while he is sleeping.
I asked him why he could be afraid of such an absurd thing. He took his walkman (not kidding)earphones out and told me it was because he was kind of a Christian...he's 42 and has no idea what he is supposed to be doing in this lifetime and he feared when it would end or when it would not...how would he spend his lifetime or what had he accomplished if it was over tomorrow? Why can't he just be in the afterlife now? And is it worth waiting for?
Wow...I would like to give you my "religous rebuttal" but he didn't pause for that....
Mind you, the conversation wasn't so deep, we did discuss Axl Rose lyrics and what made him the iconic angry rock star....just a little patience, yeah uh yeah.
All over a cup of beans and hot water. CRAZY Circumstance. But yet, it made me question today...

Later, I had tea with a friend at dusk who lives on the 21st floor of a downtown apartment building. The Empire State Building is the focal point of his view and as the sun was setting at 6pm we took in our glorious fantastic ball of energy and golden light setting on just one small island in our great big world, to us it was a background to the beginning of our night in the city and many sunsets to come but to our creator, just another blip of our self indulgence.
"On a good day we can part the sea and on a bad day, glory beyond our reach." C. Robinson


An impromptu dinner tonight in the Financial District of NY with family and a new friend made me think a lot about love and living in the present moment. They were up from Georgia, here on a whim. A 3rd date to be exact and they were going for it; Saying yes to life and Manhattan was their adventure at hand, a quick flight, and their time today together. Sitting across from them over a second bottle of creamy pinot,I was so moved by the spontaneity that both accepted to indulge in this day, this time on January 24th, 2009. They chose to embrace the best of themselves and the better part of today. I applauded that and told them so.

For the longest time I've been slowly moving through my life in Atlanta along with inertia, without thinking creatively outside the box, pursuing my dreams, and reaching further and taller. With this move, all that changed. We have but just one life. One short blessed lifetime that appears and can vanish in the mist. It should be lived, loved, embraced. conquered, challenged, rocked, and questioned to the fiber of who we are. Today is the day. Stay Gold Ponyboy, I'm living big.

Are you making the most of your God given day?

Friday, January 23, 2009

Fresh from the crate

Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted. Proverbs 22:29

After waking up this morning at 9 AM, making a slow french press in my robe while listening to Tito Paris, I had a revelation...I don't want to wake up with dawn and rush uptown (stand on the subway) to the same place everyday, bustle with the best of them, and work hard for someone else's gain. No, I want to create something of my own. Be my own boss and make my own hours. Dream Big...To work or not to work?
Not soon after this short-lived secession from conventionality I checked my bank account. To my dismay I made the quick change from bohemian to realist. I slid into a booth at Republic with my friend Conti and over a bowl of broth noodles, I asked the loaded question, "How can I make money really fast in this city?"
And guess what? These New Yorkers have an answer to that and it's on the front page of Time Out...57 ways to score cash fast to be exact. We walked to a local bodega and bought the little pearl of wisdom for $4. List to follow:
Marry someone from another country, uh skip...Nude Model, moving on...Pass out fliers, absolutely not. The thought of condoning more trash in the streets is not an option . Focus group guinea pig, fake ailment for med students, scout models, Ahhh I'm getting warmer.
Ding, Ding, Ding, model your parts...okay I did win the sexiest feet in Georgia contest, this could be a winner. Stay tuned for future Dr. Scholl's commercials...

In the meantime, I am beating the pavement. Yes, I'm getting lost. Yes, I am standing on the wrong platform, Yes, I am walking slower than most. And today with the help of a kind Metro employee (she winked at me 3x), encouragement from a New York born art broker on the subway, and passersby stopping to offer assistance as I unfolded my map, I got to know this city and it got to know me one day more. Dream on...

Are you chasing yours?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Driven by Faith and Fuel

We constantly pray for you that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.
2 Thessalonians 1:11


God calls us to serve wherever we can fulfill the best purpose, share our faith, foster our community, and use our gifts.
When I start to wonder if I am really the one in control of the helm, I happen to hail a particular cab....

Behold...Pastor Philip Frasbolio's yellow taxi that took me to the meatpacking district was a spiritual trip. Little did I know, I would be "Rolling with Jesus" on my way to an Italian meal. He offered up his various photo albums of fishing expeditions, candy for my pleasure, chew toys for my pet, free bibles, and of course his positive testimony.

He's been spreading the Word of the Lord now for two decades to any passenger that will listen. His vehicle is his evangelical ministry to New York City. He wasn't pushy with his approach but when he learned he was carrying a believer, the Amen's got louder and he delivered me safely to my destination. Between Hudson and Heaven.

I called him today after taking his Cross on Calvary card to set up a food delivery adventure, Salt and scripture to the homeless and I hoped to join him....when we hung up I read his card again..."Always a blessing, never a charge." This never happened in Georgia!

When I left the restaurant and was approached by a man asking for fifty cents, I handed over the remainder of my fungi white pizza and hailed another taxi. The man's response, "thanks right place right time", I told him I was just rolling with Jesus...

My choice to move to New York was an act of freewill but the call to be here is something out of my hands....so I wait with outstretched arms and open palms to what New York will bring.

Do you know your calling?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Arrival Day Y'all

“By their fruit, you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles?” Matthew 7

I'm a peach. It’s quite easy to recognize me. I have a soft exterior and a succulent juicy flesh. My core is strong, hard, and steady. I bruise easily, have the occasional blemish and often can be overripe or pithy. I thrive in hot weather and treasure my roots. I’m not a favorite fruit, but once tasted in my season, you’ll remember me.
And the best news of all, I’m southern sweet most of the time.

Talking about moving to New York City finally ran its eleven year course and today I left my Atlanta, Georgia home surrounded by confederate jasmine and gardenia bushes and took the swan leap into the concrete unknown... A Sweet Peach in the Big Apple. Let this city take me in!

My flight to Laguardia this morning was an optimistic half full which was good for me since I had five layers to shed and a bag full of immune-building arsenal to stuff under the seat. Short flight to a different world and touchdown... eighteen degrees of wind came off the river and slapped my huge grin across my face. I have arrived.

So much to think about.... Today is our new president's first day on the job and I have high hopes as to what fruit he will bear. My desire is that Americans will see he is just a man and not The Messiah. We have to be our better selfs. We have to have respect for all mankind and our differences.
My prayer is that the freedom and liberty we possess as citizens of this great America will materialize in my daily life. The freedom to praise, vent, worship, complain, spread sunshine, form an opinion and it to be widely rejected. The freedom to be who I am to the very pit of my soul.
I am overjoyed with the opportunity to hear the Lord's voice and make the right choice,
I’m ready, are you? Then tell me, just what kind of fruit are you producing?