"Let their flesh be renewed like a child’s; let them be restored as in the days of their youth." Job 33:25

Hope springs eternal. That's what the old adage says. Did it for Job? And to what end?

Taking a breath and holding it tight, to make sure your light inside stays bright?
If it is indeed human nature to find fresh optimism at the start of every new day while being slapped in the face with adversity, then yes the Human Being is a remarkable, resilient spirit. Or rather, the Mothers are...
We have to be.
Three ER visits in one week with my bruiser baby as the threenager challenges the candy striper to a light saber duel. What's one to do but nurse the wrecking ball while he bleeds profusely from split open scar tissue, drink a goblet of boxed wine, and encourage the pint size archaeologist to keep finding broken shards of pottery in our front yard dig site.
Oh yes...and wait for the bill.

It would be nice if I could write, think, speak about something other than my children. Alas, what else is there? There's no me. No semblance of me. Even the other adult in my household, thinks I am a snack preparing, robe wearing, bill paying, life-giving housewife who doesn't know what the word salary means.
Maybe it is true. In the last four and half years I have been pregnant, recovering from pregnancy, breast feeding the babies in which I was pregnant with...this hasn't lent me a surplus of down time to study Websters Dictionary.

Have I left the house? Sure. I've spent hours deliberating if I really need to get three of us dressed with shoes, pack food and mouth guards, strap said lineman into car seats, answer 1000 questions resembling WHY, and get behind the wheel of a car to hit a destination where we will bite, fight, scream, and wrestle until we are back home, safe and sound in the comforts of our rubber room.
Yes, it's morning like this I treasure. Confident and quick on my feet.

Which brings me to this daunting task...to remember what I do hold sacred. That is mine. To find my get up and go when my little people run the show.

 How do I know my youth is all spent?
  My get up and go has got up and went
  In spite of it all, I’m able to grin
  When I think of the places my get up has been...

-Bluegrass Archives

Abandoned 2015 Part Deux

And another unfinished draft...Circa 2015

Staying quiet and the nagging voice of motivation that says, "What the hell are you living inside your head for, get out, get up, write something" are in fisticuffs this morning.

 What moves most of us to change?
Is it the gentle chiding from a respected friend? The gnawing inner voice of shame? The comparing heart of the published words of another? Or is it just the knowledge that you were made for this and you aren't fulfilling that very purpose?

I don't believe the latter.
Runners run. Writers write.
So what am I?

Abandoned 2015

Found this gem of a draft as I sat down on a dismal Saturday morning to initiate my first limping step towards getting my mojo back.

Circa 2015...My the more things change, the more they stay the same.

The house is quiet. And I don't have to be.
He's not lightly sleeping in his crib, butt in air under his new fascination, the fan. He's out with Daddy. And I can blare Southern Rock so loud by greasy hair blows. My coffee cup is safe and sound on the edge of my desk. No little hands pining to feel if its hot (freshly poured) or cold (poured then abandoned). I have a glorious moment in my own home and in my own skin.

I speak too soon. The sliding door announces their arrival. And my fingers stiffen. My brain goes soft. And the idea of writing slips into a fitful dream.  I have a lot to say just not a lot of time to say it. Or my priorities (a real rootin tootin tiny human) don't let me.

What Does It Matter?

"Better to live on the corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." Proverbs 21:9

 Day to day I remain quiet...

Which is in direct opposition to every fiber of my being. 

Not just politically. Although my hour of mind altering yoga is the restraint that kept me from drop kicking the bumper that donned the "I'm Ready For Hillary" bumper sticker in the YMCA parking lot. 

I weep for Boko Haram's brutal and abhorrent seizure of 300 Nigerian girls and pray constantly for peace for the Mamas and the babies safe return. 

 I think Don Sterling is an ignorant bigot with too much money earned on the athleticism and work ethic of those he violently disrespects. 

The investigation in Benghazi where four Americans were slaughtered should continue no question in anyone's (with knowledge) mind. 

I wholeheartedly believe Homosexuals deserve the exact respect that straight  people do. I also think that the fascists among both groups need to grow a spine.  

I am sick, sick, sick with the minority groups who scream the loudest and demand the most. Shut up. 

I shudder at the fact we moved to a small town where heroin runs rampant, a paroled murderer is in custody with a body count of two young women, and there are no jobs in Obamas "recovered" economy . 

I think the professors at Rutgers are fucking raving liberal idiots who just depraved their students (their women students) the amazing opportunity to hear from a highly educated and accomplished black woman who smashed the glass ceiling that does exist. 

I think Kim Karsashian and Kanye West have no relevance in the real world and if they really wanted to make their questionable position in the public eye useful, they would enlighten themselves to the current events (not fashion) of this world. 

Lois Lerner is a contemptible person and should be treated as such from the American people who get shamelessly taxed who work to give to those who refuse to. 

My deliberate choice to dress modestly and behave conservatively when my husband is not with me at a family event and my Gender peers STILL don't introduce me to theirs, befuddles me and makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with the proverbial "weaker sex"? 

I'm not a threat. I could be the best friend you ever had but you are living  up to your stereotype. 

These are my thoughts. But I stay quiet. 

Double Standard Serving

"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:3-4

I don't mean to be rude or discourteous, nor it is my intention to offend. 

I love women. They are beautifully complex and intuitive creatures. I need them in my life. More so now than ever. But in a room full of men, I will break one of Ruiz' Four Agreements and ASSUME the following doesn't happen... 

Another one of the essential steps to freedom in this superficial world is to agree to never under any circumstances take things personally and as a general practice,  this is a daunting task in which I can achieve.

 

That is until I don't. 

It is my educated guess that if I repetitively tell one to "lose some fucking weight Fatso" on a regular basis, that person would tend to have hurt feelings in some respect. If not, my snide comments to "lay off the raw cookie dough two-ton Tessie" could. 

However, why would I and why should you?

 Now if I listen to one more woman tell me I am too skinny, to gain some weight and ask why don't I suck down a Cookies and Lard milkshake to put some meat on my bones, I may just start taking it to heart.

Why is it appropriate for you to embrace your curves but I should feel bad about my lean muscle? It is called genetics. And the sooner the smarter sex realizes it's biological validity, the happier we will be with each other in admiration and unconditional support. 

Just a thought at balancing the scales. (You see what I did there?)

Can you tell me what the hell appearance has to do with the heart anyway?

Don't Need To Wait For An Invitation

 It's old and new...The Good News.

5 "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:9-10

Selfie Indulged

"Do all these evildoers know nothing? They devour my people as though eating bread; they never call on the Lord." Psalm 14:14

Ladies and Gentlemen, if you have eyes may you read the words that unfold before them. If you have ears, let what follows seep into them with thought.

Iran plows ahead with the construction of mass destruction bombs.
What consequences have they faced?

Assad who murdered his own people with chemical weapons, our Administration said there will be severity used...Still no Syrian held accountable. 

Now the biggest bully of the bunch ,Vladimir Putin and his brutal aggression goes unchecked.
Russians have invaded Ukraine, blood has been shed, land captured, and now Jews are being asked to identify and register themselves to the pro-Russian activists.

And these two are in charge....

AMERICA, WAKE UP OR GET EATEN UP!