In Latin That's Carpe Diem

"The length of our days is seventy years—  or eighty, if we have the strength;  yet their span  is but trouble and sorrow,  for they quickly pass, and we fly away." Psalm 90:10

You may delay, but time will not.  ~Benjamin Franklin

This is when I have the hardest time writing a daily blog that has for the most part (uh my part) adopted and conformed to some sort of recipe.  Because after a day of picking, plucking, and gathering like today, I can't decipher the ingredients, nor do I desire the discipline it takes to follow along according to the precise measurements.

I'd rather lie here with my window open as the stiff breeze cools my warm buzz...

There is something in the night air of this spring season, I have yet to feel before in my life. A hungriness. A mission. An absolute passion for life that makes you back off the negative and put your full body weight into the positive. A season for sex, love, laughter, seduction.  An all encompassing want to put your head and heart full steam into this beautiful chance at a lifetime. 

And you don't need me to tell you it's short.

I am inspired everyday here by people's choices, manners, motives, drive, and direction here. They leaped. Embracing the now. And for that mere fact. I applaud them. 

Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it.  If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information.  ~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

It's time to seize the day.

How will you let this one pass?

Happy and Satisfied

"Let them praise His name in the dance: let them sing praises unto Him with the tambourine and harp." 

Psalm 149:3

When's the last time you enjoyed a grilled cheese sandwich with real butter on Wonder Bread?

I did at midnight on top of 3 Magic Hats overlooking Manhattan...and the dancing was on!

This city is all about self starting. There is a plethora of the world's offerings happening at every turn but if you don't seek it, it won't find you...

Spent the afternoon relishing and watching a crowd of Chinese students wildly chase a birdie around the field with badminton rackets while an intimate group of Mexican chefs played an impromptu "quitting time" game of futbol. The Ultimate Frisbee match with shirts vs skin galore provided a dull roar. As a couple passed a joint in the open bright of day in front of me, my focus fell to the mammoth blue spinnaker sail fill with wind and head towards Ellis Island

 It is officially spring and Friday in New York City. Hallelujah.

"Another missed birdie, squint, that's why we're Asian." non-descript badminton novice

The act of leaving the apartment is the hardest part of the day. I'm a decent nester and I often love to be alone. In a city full of perfect strangers, venturing out can be daunting...especially when you have no place to go.

This is dangerous and defeats the purpose of dwelling in the city that never sleeps...never mind thriving...so off I went.

After working for the last two weeks and pinching pennies, I have been catching up on my Independent Films..in the confines of my four walls. 

The drought of my social life was more than drenched last night courtesy of my dearest tall dark and handsome friends.

A benefit concert for Fierce with...Toshi Reagon and Big Lovely rocked Santos Party House last night. In a room full of Samantha Rosen look a likes... a straight blond standing in between two male models was a rare commodity...And the music was white hot....

 Already blown away by the  R & B Folk groove of Meshell Ndegeocello, the muscular RuPaul reminiscent Cirque de Soleil performance, and the seductive simultaneous spoken word that dripped like wax, I  surely wasn't expecting the sweet sound to come from this big, black, bald, beautiful woman strapped with an electric guitar bringing the retro funk with a gospel flair like no other...We grooved.

I don't know what it is about this city. The spiritual experiences are abundant. But the ordinary is non-existent. And it is so nourishing.

Have you heard, have you heard the dreams of the dove 

I am sure it’s a sign of the lord 
Did you dance to that thunderous shout 
I am sure it’s a sign of the lordI got chills in my eyes from lookin above 

I am sure it’s a sign of the lord...TOSHI

What feeds your soul?

On Bended Knee

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

MC Hammer said it best, "We gotta pray, just to make it today."

Today is National Prayer Day. A proclamation signed in 1952 by President Truman, recognized as an official occasion by President Reagan, and honored on the White House calendar until today, where President Obama chose not to celebrate or publicly recognize the power of prayer... It would be an utterly sad understatement to say that Evangelicals are disappointed in his personal decision. 

The Bible says that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. And when two or more agree on something in prayer, the extraordinary can happen.

Today is an invitation to all walks of faith to pray for our nation. Did you hear me?

To pray for our nation!!

Not that every faith, creed, belief, or walk be homogenized but that we come together with unity in mind, and ask for help.

Yes, Obama we are a wonderfully created diverse in pattern and texture nation of people. I couldn't agree more that the patchwork of our heritage is our strength as Americans.

But today's deliberate shun of the act of prayer makes you side with only the non-believers. While the rest of us want to bow our heads and lift our hands in reverence. Members of  American Atheists want to kiss your feet...

Now in my 33 years of life, I have knowingly and willingly been following Jesus Christ for the last 26. My faith has grown exponentially as I have learned the doctrine and surrendered my way. It has waned in situations where I falsely convinced myself I had a strong grip on the helm. But since my life changed with a prayer to the Lord when I was seven years old, I have always remained faithful in prayer.

Praying is talking with God. Listening to God. And fostering a relationship with Him. Enjoying being in the presence of your King.

It is not a repeated mantra, ritual steps, or formulas. 

We pray because we love God. And we earnestly seek His guidance.

I pray everyday because I want to glorify Him and the blessings he's shown in my life.

 It is my security, my refuge, my answer to all things uncertain.

And today in this climate, we could all use a little more prayer.

"O LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief." Psalm 143:1

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

"I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing."                 1 Timothy 2:8

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise." James 5:13

Heavenly Father, you are the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. I honor you. Lord I ask for the strength and wisdom to follow your heart and your will for me. Your plan is so much greater than any of my schemes. I surrender my ways to you knowing you are my only hope and salvation and all adversity I face is you pruning me to become the promise you have promised. In Jesus' Name I pray.

What is your prayer?

That's Bull

"Then the King will say to those, come you who are blessed by my Father, take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world." Matthew 25:34

Is it ironic that I strolled through the financial district, walked east on Wall Street, passed the New York Stock Exchange, by the Museum of Finance so I could take a free ferry for a 50 cent fat FREE yogurt?

I missed the ferry and bought a $1 Lotto ticket instead...

Does money change everything?

I Get A Kick Out of You, You, and Me

"Once again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was let down into the lake and caught all kinds of fish." Matthew 13:47

Anything Goes- An American debutante, an evangelist turned night club owner, a handsome wall street broker, a gangster named Moonface made their debut together on Broadway in 1934.

Anything goes..

All the time? When every thing's gone? When all else has failed?

In New York City, that's Status Quo.

I wonder when people quit paying mindful attention to the absolute craziness diversity, the outlandish oddities, and the insane and eclectic characters that make up the daily buzzing population of Manhattan.

You can do, say, wear, and play anything you want... A smorgasbord of life choices and persona's floating around this here place. The more bawdy, eccentric, outrageous, controversial, or bizarre stance or behavior doesn't necessarily mean, more attention. It all seems to blend and define this city.

Suddenly I feel home.  I feel confident in all my abnormalities, madness, curiosity, quirkiness and well, self.   

Reminds me a little bit about St. John, whereas you had to do the absolute knock down drag out drunken unthinkable to garner a reaction there and even still, you got a few batted eyes. Believe me my repetitive accidental tackling of the bassist from Jalapeno Brothers as he tried to play a Jam Show at the Back Yard Bar didn't even warrant a mention the next day at breakfast.  Ahh the good ole' days of the Wild West Caribbean.

After stepping over a passed out, snoring 70 year old woman sprawled on the stairs on set who had been dropping crass F bombs all morning, and in your face crotch shots of everyone changing wardrobe in one open room while discussing their sexual preferences, to having a depressing conversation with a plastic surgery happy woman who said the mansion we were in reeked of religion... musty, corrupt and evil...the memories haunted her.

It dawned on me I wasn't in the twilight zone, I was working in a little microcosm of Manhattan, except in tight quarters and for 15 hours. Ahh the life of an actor...

In pursuing an answer, a born and raised New Yorker told me he realized anything goes, when he was working a construction site and a man that had repeatedly dubbed everyone around him douche bag dropped his pants and pooped on the sidewalk. And passersby kept passing by.

I'm serious y'all, I am still getting ( literally) bowled over with an open jaw at what I get to witness while others are rushing to the next..

Hence the term: A Jaded New Yorker 

In my smitten(ness), I reject it's jadedness. I believe it's acceptance. 

In olden days a glimpse of stocking 

Was looked on a something shocking.

Now heaven knows, anything goes

Good authors who once knew better words

Now only us four letter words

Writing Prose, anything goes. 

My way- your way, Anythings goes tonight. Guns N Roses

Can you justify normal?

I'll Give You a Royal Pain

"The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it." Proverbs 27:12

Here is the "Harry" situation of the pitfall I am slowly falling into..I've been dancing on the edge of the crocodile's back and it is becoming abundantly clear to me that the strong vine may not come to my rescue and I will tragically end, up to my bloodshot eyeballs in the brackish tar pond with the angry scorpions.

Ok. I am speaking 1980's Intellivision code. And my hand's on the console.

The early recreational technology is NOT flashing back with a vengeance oh but the fashion is....

Here is the video game I speak of in a nutshell. If I were to seriously write what I had intended today, I would most certainly be prostituting myself to my readers. Another 13 hour shoot.

I am exhausted. I am seeped of all creative energy, I'm chilled to the bone and frankly nursing my tootsies from 5 inch heels on marble in cold and damp Long Island. And delving into my personal psyche while attempting to explain my skewed perception of those around me would be utterly forced. 

Therefore, I wouldn't be purging, I would be pretending. And that ain't the name of the game.

Three hours of shuteye per night is not a satisfactory average.

I miss the hell out of my best friend and lover.

Navigating through the options to get to the core of my passion is a full on brain drain.

It's a maze. It's a jungle. Sometimes I succumb to Pitfall Peach.

Are you in constant negotiation with potential hazards?

Into the Great Wide Open

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, My Savior and my God." Psalm 42:11

"You know what, it is so funny. A good writer will always find it very hard to fill a single page.  A bad writer will always find it easy."Aubrey Kalitera, Why Father Why

Writers Block. I should have been a cowboy. Or a private dick.

I read somewhere that a detective looks, listens, and moves in search of an idea that brings every element together and make sense of them. A private investigator and a writer could be one in the same. My gift: EAVESDROPPING  It's made me a more rounded writer and as of late popular on the TV sets as I can report all the whispered drama....

Writing is what I have wanted to to and have done for as long as I can remember. I have dreaded, often despised, craved,  relished  and I have adored the catharsis it brings. More times than not, when I question my motives or end product, I reference Jack Kerouac's List of Essentials.

• Submissive to everything open, listening
• Write what you want bottomless from the bottom of mind
• Telling the true story of the world in interior monologue
• Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
• Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
• Don't think of words when you stop but to see the picture better
• You're a GENIUS all the time

The last one usually motives me...Should I be pinching myself? Today I spoke with my three closest girlfriends there in fact by bridesmaids.  In each, we had a sad observation of the rapidly moving hands of the clock. And we tried to keep up. 

Even though I have been sleepwalking the majority of this day. I did hear them.

They all three repeatedly said, WOW, you're doing it. I'm so proud of you. You're living the fast life. Who would have thought all of this could be happening? It's amazing. What an exciting time. You are making your circumstances.

Yes, yes, and yes. My Response

.My question. Is it really my doing?

I am Living a Dream.

Experiencing the Interesting.

New York City.

Many Firsts.

Multiple Facets of Fun!

But again, He is the Reason.My Fortress. My Solid Rock.

I choose to greet my morning and end my night in Thanksgiving.

For it is in Praising God in which all my blessings come.

My surroundings are different. My obstacles Plenty.

But He is the same everyday. And His purpose for me remains in tact.
So I'll continue to honor Him in every way.And Honor my writing self and write everyday.

You don't have to fill a page. Everyday isn't exciting. But the gift of Life is...

"We had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life." JK

Is the sky the limit?