Tuesday, December 22, 2009

There's Just No Getting Over You

"Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God." Psalm 84:3

Right after arriving at our apartment from a weekend spent in my husband's rural Massachusetts hometown, he tells me he thinks his computer has been riddled with even more viruses since he plugged it into a New York wall.
Should this be a sign he isn't as smitten as me?

Brooklyn born Woody Allen said it’s always Manhattan, all the time. This little, compact island, where everything is going on. ....AND I wholeheartedly agree. Damn, its good to be home.
Thirty-three years ago when I was but a gleam, Blue Eyes talked about "being a part of it" and thirty-three days away from my year anniversary, I have to say that regardless of a grittier, far from light hearted, tight little purse strings, fly by the seat of my resourceful pants of a year, I am still blinded by Manhattan's bright and true colors.

The truth of the matter cannot be denied. The tourism consensus is New York City, the greatest city on Earth will attract over 45 million in bound dreamers by year's end looking to experience the sheer magic that keeps all of us hopeless romantics who live here, hopelessly devoted, despite the soggy wet slush we slough through at the end of each block.

As I thought about snuggling up with this week's New York Magazine featuring 100 reasons to love this city, I looked out at my snow covered fire escape at the scantily clad mime standing in the street, felt the pulse of the acid jazz band below me, and answered the door to a freezing cold Mexican man with a smile carrying my piping hot Pad Thai, at 10 o'clock at night....and my personal undying infatuation was affirmed.

My Reason 1: The choice to be marginally known or virtually invisible.

Seeing New York through my eyes...romanticized or unrealistic?

New York

Photo: Getty Images



**Yes, its on my mind. But I have chosen to glorify the positive then talk about how sad I am that a charismatic young man captured the imagination of so many of my peers and is willing to sign his name to federally funded abortions.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Main Street Meddling

"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Matthew 19:24

Which got me thinking...does small town modest living lend itself to fostering a more disciplined and righteous life?

But I quickly witness that less temptation, meager possessions, and idle time don't necessarily lead to the folding of hands but the wagging of tongues.

It's a short life so....
Allure me with animation
Consume me with current events.
Posses me with productivity.
Direct me with drive.
Finesse me with fashion.
Entice me with enterprise.
And guide me to give it all up and follow Him.

Ever notice the one's that aren't busy are the biggest busy bodies?

**And for more reading material.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Facts

"Though I myself have reasons for such confidence. If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more:" Ephesians 3:4

“To become a spectator of one's own life is to escape the suffering of life.”
Oscar Wilde

I finally get a break from the city and I miss Manhattan's winter wonderland.

So I'm reflecting in the snowless mountains while the city that never sleeps rocks through a foot of powder.

Wondering just when I can jump back in...

Do you wonder why it was supposed to be?





Friday, December 18, 2009

SIGH

"A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot." Ecclessiastes 3:2

I got soul but I’m not a soldier. A break from the hustle arrives right on time. It's time to sleep.

A peaceful train through the barren snow covered forest evokes childhood memoreis of John Winchell’s farm pastures and the tireless walks over the barbed wire fence to a secluded catfish pond. Evenings ending in a hot bath, my skinny digits so cold they burned in thawing. The make believe that can come only from the vibrancy of youth becomes a faint memory and the tocking of the tracks sends me to slumber.

Wake me in the white covered Berkshire Hills.

Where does the time go?



Way, Truth, Life-The Seminar

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34

This goes for every last one of us. We want World Peace? We're failing at the one commandment he asks of us.

Jumping over frozen puddles of urine on the upper west side this morning carrying cans of Linen White paint for a client's walk in closet, I shrugged off my judgemental tongue lashing I received last night on set from a "forty years in the business" man who deemed himself rather loudly more global minded then little ole me. Or to be exact "You people are the evil problem in our world, you and your evil zenotype small thinking, you and your God."
Despite his "I'm a Fortune 500 speaker" narcissistic approach to belittling what very little he knew of me and giving brilliant advice to take God out of all equations and elevate man, I finally calmed him down...and let him know he failed tremendously in the conversation part.
And oh yeah. He is the reason the ridiculous notion of not discussing religion and politics exist.

Was it Jesus or the Cheshire Cat that said Keep your Temper....

If the 600 million of us have all lost our minds....
Pick one, was He Lord, Liar, or Lunatic?


Thursday, December 17, 2009

Prizes and Pitfalls

"I, even I, have spoken;yes, I have called him. I will bring him and he will succeed in his mission" Isaiah 48:15

Strike a match and watch it burn.

Casting agent told me I'm his go to gal for stand in work as Denis Leary's hot and bothered wife.
Sexy crew thinks I have a natural spark on camera.
I might have found my steady fire through the winter.

Ignited. Just in time for Rescue Me's last season...

Isn't it better to burn out then fade away?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Star is Born

"In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will." Ephesians 1:11

Perched on the 34th floor of a luxury high rise with 180 degree views of Manhattan.
Hope has found me....


A mormon raised, turned Assembly of God fanatic, now atheist gay handsome lad from Utah who I call my friend expressed his disdain for Christians who believe they will get every little thing their hearts desire and minds dream upon because they believe in God..(i.e. Joe Blow will become a famous screenplay writer without putting pen to paper strictly because of his faith.)
Mmmm.
Surprise, Surprise, I gave him my following opinion.

"Good things come to those who wait, but only the things left over by those who hustle.” Abraham Lincoln


Our dreams of yesteryears are still the dreams we have today. We are all destined to be and do specific and satisfying work. Life certainly does not unfold the way we think it should, nor does it happen on our ticking time clock. The pursuit of our true happiness wains, sometimes is modified and regrettably derails from year to year. But more importantly, resting on your laurels and waiting for it to come is not an option. Ambition should and will ultimately reign with steadfast discipline. And we gain the strength to tell ourselves to not forsake our dreams. Yes, the ones people laugh at, question, deny, and discourage you from chasing. Those dreams. Never give up on those dreams!
With all of that said, our dreams for us, may not be God's plan for us. But I earnestly believe with every fiber of my being as I march proudly down this passionate path, I will find my
starring part in the quirky performance piece called LIFE.

----ESTHER: Don't you realize that I would be giving up everything I ever worked for?
NORMAN: Yes, but it's served it's purpose. A career is a curious thing. Talent isn't always enough. You need a sense of timing; an eye for seeing the turning points; for recognizing the big chance when it comes along and grabbing it. A career can rest on a trifle, like us sitting here tonight. Or it can turn on someone saying to you, "You're better than that; you're better than you know." Don't settle for the little dream. Go on to the big dream.-----
(A Star is Born 1954)

Aside from the very addicted meth man that paces St. Mark's shaking his confused head...
Is everyone else living the life you're meant to be living, or do you need a gentle reminder?