Fresh As A Daisy

"To be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:23-24

Never mind that my chilled Rose had sweat beads dripping down the cheap glass the second the lovely French girl placed it in front of me.

That certainly wasn't the crack in the concrete that sent me ass over tea kettle recovering only to pat my wounded heart and bring me to face the reality I've avoided for so long.

No, I threw it into the back of my throat before it could become devastatingly lukewarm.

But it did take a hot little German chef who has known the feisty confident girl in me since I was nineteen and running free amongst the sandy streets of the Wild Wild West Caribbean to spend 5 minutes alone with me and say...

"I wish I could take HALF of what is on your shoulders and throw it away. Something has sucked it all out of you...and I want to know how you're gonna get it back?

The pause it took to skip the line was FAR too short in comparison to the breath I just took.

She's right. I am completely Lost. The girl that sits here, sweating in her underwear in front of a fan on a Friday night is not the girl I would point a video camera at and pay to see in "My Movie."

For those of you who are exhausted with the repetitive wahs that I'm not quite myself these days can cease reading now...

It's my BLOG. It's a phase. I'm going to get out of it.

I'm bringing Sexy back but its going to have to take a whole lot of as Axl Rose say, bitching, fussing, pissing to carve out the body and soul that I see in this pile of smashed stone.

You don't have to bear with me. I do.

As I skipped amongst the congestion forming on St. Mark's, giggling excuse me's all the way...(new approach), I stopped short in front of the window where De La Vega's familiar scrawl used to hang...

And remembered his words..."The pressures if surviving in the city will make you lose sight of your dream...hang in there.

"You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again." John 3:7

So by the skin of my teeth, that's just what I plan to do.

How about you?

**This puts the old familiar smile on my face...>>

First Mate

"In Him, we are also chosen, having predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will." Ephesians 1:11

It's Not About Me.

"For everything, absolutely everything above and below, visible, and invisible...everything got started in Him and finds purpose in Him." Colossians 1:16

It's Not About My Control.

"In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." Job 12:10

It's Not About My Wants.

"For whosoever wants to save his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for me will find it." Matthew 16:25

A Clearing

"The clouds pour down their moisture and abundant showers fall on mankind." Job 36:28

The first day of Fall's unseasonable heat is soaked with a cool evening shower.

I'm pleasantly blessed with a new writing assignment from Scholastic Publishing.

And a "featured" Reporter Role (Go Figure) on CSI New York.

Lord, pour out your power and love as I sing, Holy, Holy, Holy.

Can you see the silver lining in the storm clouds?

Can this guy....>> Or this gal...>>

Now Is The Time

"The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied." Proverbs 13:4

There's a padded manila envelope laying at the edge of my desk...three of the corners are bent, the label has started to peel and it's covered with a thin coating of black soot.

It's addressed to The Colbert Report.

I pridefully stuffed it with my head shot, resume, and a news reel of about a dozen interviews, sports packages, and stand-ups I performed over the last ten years of my quasi focused reporter life.

I did this last November.

The missing element? Other than the postage...

The show stopping, clutching cover letter that makes heads spin and hands pick up the phone to hire me as their witty correspondent.

As they say in the islands...Soon Come!

Good things come to those who wait, but only the things left over by those who hustle.”

Abraham Lincoln

So why are you {I} putting off your real pursuits?

Rebel Without A Clue

"Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off." Proverbs 24:14

A blank canvas...to dream. An open lane...to turn cartwheels.

The trickle of gritty St. Mark's on a Monday tricks me into thinking this town is quiet and refined.

A strange content energy and a cold breeze makes me feel like I could fall deep in love again.

The Pabst neon across the street even seems calmly dimmer.

I didn't make eye contact with the woman on the B train this evening.

She'd already prefaced her spiel with exclaiming her knowledge of the hate we all had for her, and I couldn't find it in me to look up when she cursed us for ignoring her wanton needs.

Oh my God, its Fall. And this southern belle's blue lips already shiver with my looming 3rd Northeast winter. Time is a funny thing...

I caught the scent of freedom's sweet breath as I sat daydreaming in a knockoff Eames office chair today.

There isn't one single, solitary tangible material holding me here on this one way East Village street.

Just like the transient crust punks, I could pack up my few city rags and head in any direction of the Compass Rose. I'd launder them first.

New York City is a beastly animal. But steadfast. I've changed. It hasn't. Not one bit.

Read about a Pilot TV Show in production...its based on the daily account of a young woman struggling to make it as an actress in New York City.

I vomit in my mouth.

I already wrote that...

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is causing traffic cluster on the East Side, demanding we recognize Iran as a true power.

If I didn't believe in the one Lord God Almighty, I would be shaking in my boots.

Instead, I stir in rage at the tax money spent protecting him.

Taking the advice of my lovely cousin who says he does his best to find compassion in everyone, cause everybody hurts.

These are the fears, these are the dreads, these are the contents of my head. Annie Lenox

Do you know how you feel?

Place of Rest

"And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 14:3

Heavenly Father,

I am regretful I spend too much of my precious time fighting battles against the flesh, this tempting world, and those who reject you. I do this often, instead of honoring your glory, lifting up your name, and being a shining light on your loving example. I admit I spend more time consumed with my career, my image, and my place in the world then considering my eternal life, my true home, my salvation. Because of your indescribable good and pure majesty, there is no question when I am flat on my face singing loud Hosannas of adoration, while all the celestial trumpets sound, and you are at the center will I truly understand what your great servant C.S. Lewis meant when he said, I now know what I was made for...

Out on the hills of glory land.

So happy and free at God’s right hand.

They tell of a place of marvelous grace.

On heaven’s bright shore.

Pilgrims on earth someday will go

To live in that home forever more

Trusting in Him who died for sin,

And rose from the grave

On heaven’s bright shore.

There’s gonna be no more dyin’

Not one little grave,

In all that fair land

Not even a tear will dim the eye,

and no one up there will say goodbye.

Just singing His praise through endless days... on Heaven’s bright shore.

Just singing His praise through endless days...On Heaven’s bright shore.

Allison Krauss

Heaven is all about Jesus.

He's the ONLY way to get there.

So if He isn't your One and Only Savior, why would you want to go?

I like this guy...>>