Last Night...>>

Standing in for this fair skinned, lemon haired beauty is a sheer treat.

And we share the same profile...

Writers...Write. Right?

"' How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.

Henry David Thoreau.

I told a writer the name of my blog. And not just a self professed writer.

But one that matters. A successful 30 something writer of a hit television show, banging out clever scripts from her West Coast office. A writer who flew in to sit on set for line change consulting.

A writer making a living.

I regretted it immediately.

Maybe it's because I'd been standing in for the last 72 hours for an actress mastering her craft and honing her skills.

Standing up in the camera's eyes, so the marks are made and the lighting is just right for another fair skinned blond headed heart whose passion is coming to fruition.

Could be, I opened up my writing for critique because I've been standing on the hard subway platforms to stand on the moving trains, to stand on Grand Central's marble floor while the wasted hiked up their short skirts and took pictures of a grey Ted Danson in strange adoration, while I propped myself up against set dressings wagon.

Or possibly I told her because it is the exact swift kick in the ass I need to knock me into the world I wish to dwell, inside my head and on paper.

“Write while the heat is in you. The writer who postpones the recording of his thoughts uses an iron which has cooled to burn a hole with. He cannot inflame the minds of his audience.”

Henry David Thoreau.

I'm sorry I've digressed. I have poured myself into a money making frenzy and mind numbing recovery, such that I've lost my grip on self expression. And the passage of time.

I've been standing up to live in this city, but not sitting down enough to write.

This will change.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. ~Author Unknown

Feeling like Dorothy running wild through the poppies and suddenly overcome with the desire to sleep the long slumber of the nearly dead.

Ahh but Oz is a few strides away and we sold our cars for pocket change and a chance.

It's called blessed delirium and the man behind the curtain is calling me.

Insert question here___________?

Ehhh

"My days are swifter than a runner; they fly away without a glimpse of joy." Job 9:25

Monday Morning.

I'm mentally paralyzed.

The jackhammer waited to pound the asphalt under my window until daybreak.

For this I was thankful. And the passing rain.

Determined to not see New York living through the eyes of Job...

After my meeting with Screen Actors Guild, I find myself walking over the Williamburg bridge for some greasy pork belly at Fatty Cue in the sunshine.

The spell bounding and surreal view of magnificent New York to my left looks like a giant meticulously painted backdrop propped up against a finally blue sky.

The stark block letters reading SCREW RENT are spray painted black on the concrete tenement to my right.

I transfix my eyes on this cold hard truth instead as the green river rolls below and sigh.

I don't see any bobbing bodies like the recent lucky few on the two hour tour.

The Lovely Lady Liberty peers around the corner.

When you actually take the time to move slowly through the chaos, you find the stoic silence of passersby to be odd and forced.

We're rubbing shoulders and touching thighs half the time but are strangely embarrassed by eye contact or a mere hello.

The day passes rapidly as do they all.

I remind myself that a day off is not carte blanche to neurotically sweat and panic in a mad hustle to make sure I don't have two in a row and deliberately don't skip steps on the way to A Train Uptown.

Madison Square Garden is amok with bodies and flurrying with scalpers. I tell three rather assertive hustlers, no to their low offers, before settling on a fair price with the Rangers fan who is screaming at the jerk in handcuffs for selling him fake tickets. He buys me a beer inside.

Eat my dinner at midnight and set my alarm for four hours later...Joyfully.

Do you log the days of your life in a win/lose column?

"Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:12

My fail proof strategy for staying on the battlefield.

Could have saved the print 1...>>

Could have saved the print 2...>>

At least someone is composing as I wait for my writers block to move.

Are you still reading?

Gimme Gimme

"You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? 1 Corinthians 3:3

I know my Citizenship is in Heaven.

But I'm currently residing in Manhattan.

And I'm jealous.

I want.

Tears streamed down my hot cheeks last night in church as Pastor Bojan prayed for the one woman who was feeling immense lack in her life.

I heard....

" Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

But this afternoon walking amongst the extravagant Lower East Side shoppers...

I forgot.

And pined...

For silk fabric.