As I'm coming up on one full year of breastfeeding, I related to and adored this post.
Courtesy of Bygone Bureau..>>
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Just A Smidgen of Distaste
"With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.” Acts 2:40
The headlines are saying a journalist was rude to Obama.
Rude to the President? What a joke.
The fact that the Mainstream Media does not ask questions that truly matter to the American people is scary enough. But when they attack a reporter who searches out answers as to why the hell the IRS is using their criminal and vast power to target Conservative groups and why no one is being held accountable is devastatingly frightening. Obama claims there is not a "smidgen" of corruption, yet memos and emails link the coordination of Obama's treasury to the IRS officials who under their direction deliberately scrutinized and delayed due processing. Lois Lerner pleaded the Fifth for a reason. GUILT.
I could go on...why are the allegations of the Presidency covering up murders of our people in Benghazi to save an election not as important as a celebrities short life or the Presidents inappropriate flirting and self centered picture taking at Mandela's funeral?Or worse the fact that the Secretary of State can say "What difference does it make" And then it doesn't.
Or the unmistakable thrusting of the worst social program in our country's history. Obamacare is being shoved down our throat while billions of dollars goes up in flames, and still a whopping 8% have deemed it worthy enough to sign on to a sometimes but rarely functioning website. This administration says it is a burden to the poor to demand picture ID's to vote but signing up for free healthcare on an Internet site isn't.
Rude to the President? What a joke.
The fact that the Mainstream Media does not ask questions that truly matter to the American people is scary enough. But when they attack a reporter who searches out answers as to why the hell the IRS is using their criminal and vast power to target Conservative groups and why no one is being held accountable is devastatingly frightening. Obama claims there is not a "smidgen" of corruption, yet memos and emails link the coordination of Obama's treasury to the IRS officials who under their direction deliberately scrutinized and delayed due processing. Lois Lerner pleaded the Fifth for a reason. GUILT.
I could go on...why are the allegations of the Presidency covering up murders of our people in Benghazi to save an election not as important as a celebrities short life or the Presidents inappropriate flirting and self centered picture taking at Mandela's funeral?Or worse the fact that the Secretary of State can say "What difference does it make" And then it doesn't.
Or the unmistakable thrusting of the worst social program in our country's history. Obamacare is being shoved down our throat while billions of dollars goes up in flames, and still a whopping 8% have deemed it worthy enough to sign on to a sometimes but rarely functioning website. This administration says it is a burden to the poor to demand picture ID's to vote but signing up for free healthcare on an Internet site isn't.
I can't make this shit up!
I am ill with the sullied White House justifications and can't even stomach Jay Carney's lies.
Not to mention the man in charge can't find a suit and tie to save his life to bring some sort of professionalism to the highest office. President Nixon wire taps a hotel room and is forced to resign. This snake charmer spies on the entire country and we are still infatuated with his let me clear remarks and his wife's attempt at being a regular gals gal by ghetto grooving on late night television.
Sick, sick, sick.
America the Beautiful is blind.
* Just in case you thought I'd lost my zest for politics.
I am ill with the sullied White House justifications and can't even stomach Jay Carney's lies.
Not to mention the man in charge can't find a suit and tie to save his life to bring some sort of professionalism to the highest office. President Nixon wire taps a hotel room and is forced to resign. This snake charmer spies on the entire country and we are still infatuated with his let me clear remarks and his wife's attempt at being a regular gals gal by ghetto grooving on late night television.
Sick, sick, sick.
America the Beautiful is blind.
* Just in case you thought I'd lost my zest for politics.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
There Is No I In Baby
"To be fully alive is not to simply drink deeply of life and be satisfied. It's to become a well, offering life to the world around you. That is what it means to be fully alive." Jason Jaggard
Signs, Signs.
Everywhere There's Signs.
Fucking Up the Scenery.
Breaking my Mind.
Do this, don't do that.
Can't you read the sign?
Tesla (my favorite version at least)
I've been thinking about that song a lot.
Signs.
The blinking new gadget. The shiny new dress. The alarmingly popular phone apps that the NSA considers their wettest dream come true. The bright and flashing banner over your head saying "You need me, to feel value." We are bombarded.
All of these signs in one way or another keep us from being introspective and cause us to covet and stray far from what the Apostle Paul preached, which was learning to be content in every situation.
In need. And in plenty.
The multitude of choices, options, the new and improved are simply a diversion from our path and God's purpose for our lives.
I liken the signs to all the Mommy Blogs out there.
You know the ones that give the rah-rah pep talks....
The women that say I'm enough. I'm a mom and that's sufficient.
I call bullshit
Signs, Signs.
Everywhere There's Signs.
Fucking Up the Scenery.
Breaking my Mind.
Do this, don't do that.
Can't you read the sign?
Tesla (my favorite version at least)
I've been thinking about that song a lot.
Signs.
The blinking new gadget. The shiny new dress. The alarmingly popular phone apps that the NSA considers their wettest dream come true. The bright and flashing banner over your head saying "You need me, to feel value." We are bombarded.
All of these signs in one way or another keep us from being introspective and cause us to covet and stray far from what the Apostle Paul preached, which was learning to be content in every situation.
In need. And in plenty.
The multitude of choices, options, the new and improved are simply a diversion from our path and God's purpose for our lives.
I liken the signs to all the Mommy Blogs out there.
You know the ones that give the rah-rah pep talks....
The women that say I'm enough. I'm a mom and that's sufficient.
I call bullshit
I'm not. It's not.
And the repetitive mantra of these fellow sisters has my head spinning somewhere in between guilt and pressure.
Being a Mom is enough? Then why do I want more? Should I suppress these clear desires?
It's the MOST important job of your life! Then I should perform as such...and if I fail or stumble, the most important job won't be accomplished?!
Again bullshit.
As I told my near and dear women at my Moms group today, I fall short of the Glory of God on a consistent basis. I will never be enough. The fruits of my labor alone with never be sufficient.
The Lord says in 2 Corinthians, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ's power may rest in me."
God's Sovereignty is sufficient.
I'm a Mama alright. I'm giving of myself. As Christ gave Himself to us.
For now, I am poised to be the face of God in this tough world to my son.
It is my prayer that my he will continuously see me on my knees in reliant fellowship and constant submission with the Lord.
And may that serve as a reminder that He must become greater, we must become less.
If I do that... That's enough.
And the repetitive mantra of these fellow sisters has my head spinning somewhere in between guilt and pressure.
Being a Mom is enough? Then why do I want more? Should I suppress these clear desires?
It's the MOST important job of your life! Then I should perform as such...and if I fail or stumble, the most important job won't be accomplished?!
Again bullshit.
As I told my near and dear women at my Moms group today, I fall short of the Glory of God on a consistent basis. I will never be enough. The fruits of my labor alone with never be sufficient.
The Lord says in 2 Corinthians, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ's power may rest in me."
God's Sovereignty is sufficient.
I'm a Mama alright. I'm giving of myself. As Christ gave Himself to us.
For now, I am poised to be the face of God in this tough world to my son.
It is my prayer that my he will continuously see me on my knees in reliant fellowship and constant submission with the Lord.
And may that serve as a reminder that He must become greater, we must become less.
If I do that... That's enough.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
This Is Your Life
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
One of my best girlfriend's called me yesterday.
She's back from two weeks on the Mayan Peninsula in Mexico and a quick jaunt to the French Quarter to ring in the first fabulous breath of this opportunistic new year. Her message alluded to seclusion, beach walks, putting her face in a mask to view the tranquil colors and soak in the warm salty sea with no one tugging at her knees or breasts.
Unfortunately, We missed each other.
I was immersed in the exciting gas line at Costco because my practical husband thought I should get out for some Mommy Time. It was 32 degrees and I chose the pump that you had to continuously squeeze to dispense the Petrol. I caught a good windburn. My phone was cozy in the car.
But when we speak today, I will get to tell her of my intriguing outing to get fresh farm eggs on the down low off an elusive tailgate on Dock Street.
I have a secret correspondence with my farmer who emails her location.
But then again, I might be on a neighborhood stroll pointing and saying, "yes, pine tree" for the thousandth time and won't hear her phoning. Odds are if I'm up to my elbows in digested lentils or my fingertips are greased with butt paste, the window of San Francisco's time difference will pass, and I'll have to save the days titillating details for later.
Oh I know, what a whining bitch I am! I can hear it now, "She should be so fortunate to have a baby she can stay home with and influence." But in my world of relativity, the sympathetic "at least" statements don't have any bearing with me today.
My period is back after a 20 month hiatus, making me frighteningly aware that I could do this all over again.
God Willing:)
One of my best girlfriend's called me yesterday.
She's back from two weeks on the Mayan Peninsula in Mexico and a quick jaunt to the French Quarter to ring in the first fabulous breath of this opportunistic new year. Her message alluded to seclusion, beach walks, putting her face in a mask to view the tranquil colors and soak in the warm salty sea with no one tugging at her knees or breasts.
Unfortunately, We missed each other.
I was immersed in the exciting gas line at Costco because my practical husband thought I should get out for some Mommy Time. It was 32 degrees and I chose the pump that you had to continuously squeeze to dispense the Petrol. I caught a good windburn. My phone was cozy in the car.
But when we speak today, I will get to tell her of my intriguing outing to get fresh farm eggs on the down low off an elusive tailgate on Dock Street.
I have a secret correspondence with my farmer who emails her location.
But then again, I might be on a neighborhood stroll pointing and saying, "yes, pine tree" for the thousandth time and won't hear her phoning. Odds are if I'm up to my elbows in digested lentils or my fingertips are greased with butt paste, the window of San Francisco's time difference will pass, and I'll have to save the days titillating details for later.
Oh I know, what a whining bitch I am! I can hear it now, "She should be so fortunate to have a baby she can stay home with and influence." But in my world of relativity, the sympathetic "at least" statements don't have any bearing with me today.
My period is back after a 20 month hiatus, making me frighteningly aware that I could do this all over again.
God Willing:)
Friday, January 3, 2014
Dancing Backwards In High Heels
"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Now, if I would have made some far fetched resolution in this turn of the calendar year, I would be stricken with an unwanted pressure to produce while my infant teeters on toddlerland, demanding I crouch behind his every "look mom no hands" attempts.
Since I have spent the better part of the holidays in an array of various lounge pants with minimum vocabulary retrieval, I know not to be so foolish.
However, it was brought to my attention the embarrassing lack of frequency in which I pound out my thoughts for my personal affirming and the public's mild amusement.
As if I didn't already know my passion for writing has taken a way rear seat to more pressing matters of bodily functions such as sniffing, snotting, wiping and coughing...
Now, if I would have made some far fetched resolution in this turn of the calendar year, I would be stricken with an unwanted pressure to produce while my infant teeters on toddlerland, demanding I crouch behind his every "look mom no hands" attempts.
Since I have spent the better part of the holidays in an array of various lounge pants with minimum vocabulary retrieval, I know not to be so foolish.
However, it was brought to my attention the embarrassing lack of frequency in which I pound out my thoughts for my personal affirming and the public's mild amusement.
As if I didn't already know my passion for writing has taken a way rear seat to more pressing matters of bodily functions such as sniffing, snotting, wiping and coughing...
What I am a missing is perspective...
Or is it the favorite buzz word for self helpers this New Year season?
Balance.
As I sit by the dying embers of the first fire of 2014, I am indescribably grateful for this past year.
A year that brought a miraculous son born to two fiercely independent vagabonds.
It has blessed and grounded us in one forceful, wonderful blow.
A new life in which I have to steal time to take a pee alone and sit in silence with my thoughts. Thoughts these days that are limited in scope and subject matter, but mine all the same.
It has become clear as crystal, this new found life has me dumbfounded and has literally knocked my legs, which I thought were solid right out beneath me.
Today I rinsed out another soiled diaper in the laundry room sink only to return to a running faucet and flooded floor hours later. I cut carrots and pears into bite size pieces, or so I thought as I banged on his back to cease the choking. I looked in the mirror and saw the days old ponytail with gray wisps and over sized sweatshirt had left the proverbial realm and become my reality.
And then the call came....Would I write a devotional for a mom's group and share my juggling, struggling, wisdom?
What? Write? Wisdom? Are they kidding?
So tonight on the third day of the new year, I return to the discipline, embrace my beautiful mess, and pray for harmony to meet my discord.
I can do this.
Or is it the favorite buzz word for self helpers this New Year season?
Balance.
As I sit by the dying embers of the first fire of 2014, I am indescribably grateful for this past year.
A year that brought a miraculous son born to two fiercely independent vagabonds.
It has blessed and grounded us in one forceful, wonderful blow.
A new life in which I have to steal time to take a pee alone and sit in silence with my thoughts. Thoughts these days that are limited in scope and subject matter, but mine all the same.
It has become clear as crystal, this new found life has me dumbfounded and has literally knocked my legs, which I thought were solid right out beneath me.
Today I rinsed out another soiled diaper in the laundry room sink only to return to a running faucet and flooded floor hours later. I cut carrots and pears into bite size pieces, or so I thought as I banged on his back to cease the choking. I looked in the mirror and saw the days old ponytail with gray wisps and over sized sweatshirt had left the proverbial realm and become my reality.
And then the call came....Would I write a devotional for a mom's group and share my juggling, struggling, wisdom?
What? Write? Wisdom? Are they kidding?
So tonight on the third day of the new year, I return to the discipline, embrace my beautiful mess, and pray for harmony to meet my discord.
I can do this.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Waiting on Calgon's Promise
"Then say, “Save us, O God of our salvation, And gather us and deliver us from the nations, To give thanks to Your holy name, And glory in Your praise.” 1 Chronicles 16:35
After I downed my last swallow of an Argentinian Cabernet that I debated over buying based on the over $10 price tag, I looked at my husband and said, "Tomorrow I need some alone time and a good cry."
And so, after putting my dear friend who is recovering from two surgeries, five chemotherapy treatments, loss of her fertility and hair and on her sunrise flight home this morning, I have retreated into the corner of a coffee shop to weep over the headlines of the Sunday New York Times.
Not exactly the release of tears I needed.
Now in the spirit of the season of thankfulness, I fully understand my blessings are amazingly abundant and to look in the eyes of a thriving baby that came from the Lord and grew inside of me is to fully feel gratitude.
Still in the same held breath, to spend endless hours alongside that same bouncing boy with a voracious appetite for breast milk, egg yolk, crib paint, pinecones, and all things he can grasp with his razor sharp claws within his keen eagle eye, all whilst screaming in his carseat, stroller, high chair, my arms and within ear shot of anyone with an allergen to children desiring a quiet Saturday can take its toll.
I MISS MY FREEDOM. MY FREE TIME. MY FREE THINKING. MY FREE SPIRIT!!!
But in the quiet of the moment, with the last sip of my morning joe and a quick slap across my face, tears fill my aging eyes and I can quickly gain perspective.
Grateful can't convey my feelings or my (temporarily rattled) state of mind.
I am blessed more than ever and content in the current crazy chapter with a need for the proverbial bubble bath and occasional visits to my prior pre-baby life.
After I downed my last swallow of an Argentinian Cabernet that I debated over buying based on the over $10 price tag, I looked at my husband and said, "Tomorrow I need some alone time and a good cry."
And so, after putting my dear friend who is recovering from two surgeries, five chemotherapy treatments, loss of her fertility and hair and on her sunrise flight home this morning, I have retreated into the corner of a coffee shop to weep over the headlines of the Sunday New York Times.
Not exactly the release of tears I needed.
Now in the spirit of the season of thankfulness, I fully understand my blessings are amazingly abundant and to look in the eyes of a thriving baby that came from the Lord and grew inside of me is to fully feel gratitude.
Still in the same held breath, to spend endless hours alongside that same bouncing boy with a voracious appetite for breast milk, egg yolk, crib paint, pinecones, and all things he can grasp with his razor sharp claws within his keen eagle eye, all whilst screaming in his carseat, stroller, high chair, my arms and within ear shot of anyone with an allergen to children desiring a quiet Saturday can take its toll.
I MISS MY FREEDOM. MY FREE TIME. MY FREE THINKING. MY FREE SPIRIT!!!
But in the quiet of the moment, with the last sip of my morning joe and a quick slap across my face, tears fill my aging eyes and I can quickly gain perspective.
Grateful can't convey my feelings or my (temporarily rattled) state of mind.
I am blessed more than ever and content in the current crazy chapter with a need for the proverbial bubble bath and occasional visits to my prior pre-baby life.
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