Searching For Sufficiency

"Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God." John 1:12

I document this picture for one sound reason.

It demonstrates the Look of Productivity.

Not in my belly.
But in my twinkling eyes, my knowing smile, and the confidence in the early hour and the day laid out before me.

This week I worked a fashion photo shoot in a gorgeous Antebellum home of a legendary casting agent.(Shout out to Roadhouse and the captivating Dalton.) And I felt the pull of purpose I haven't felt in a while. A mindset that is outward. And at times, unhealthy.

In my earthly world,  I realized I have defined myself by my work for 15 years and without it, my life is lacking in modifiers and sometimes meaning.

Can the role of Mama really trump them all?

My Miraculous Mediocrity

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

It has taken this long to crawl out of my hole of solitude with wounds significantly licked and adequately mended.

Ernest Hemingway said when one is having trouble writing, write the truest sentence one knows.
The above statement is factual. The first Tuesday of November did send my exerted full sails into irons. But it's not the truest sentence I know.

Another truth is I don't like my desk position. I look into a sheet of vanilla curtains. Curtains that are drawn but beyond them my conscious mind knows looms a tradition brick ranch house filled with pale faces of a young growing family.

Where once I perched over the wilder side of the United Nations on skateboards and speed Street, writing narcissisticly seemed appropriate for the scenery. My observation of the politics of experience was relevant and noteworthy.

Now I listen to the songs of courting Cardinals under a live oak in my wool socks with a bulging belly and question the novelty in that image. Are my encounters with a kicking two pounder in my uterus uniquely profound or is it mundane minutiae not worth mentioning to an audience that has felt the flutters of another viable being?

These are the thoughts I chastise myself with as I try to find the ideal position to place my pulled pelvis on my overworked heating pad. Will I let my stereotype of small town America significance serve me in one aspect yet rob me in another?

I write about my life because this life is short. Not glamorous or abstruse. Just short. And solely mine.

Did I mention I'm having a baby in three short months?

His Final Stand

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.” 1 Timothy 2:1-2

I am sorry for Mitt Romney, but mostly I am sorry the American people will never know where his leadership could have taken us.

I Cast Mine In Order To Catch Truth

"Freedom is not the right to do what we want, but what we ought. Let us have faith that right makes might and in that faith let us; to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it." Abraham Lincoln

Election Eve...

Tomorrow is not about turning our carnal individual right into partisan demands. Tomorrow is about voting the Truth. The truth of our conscience and convictions. Freedom can only be found through the righteousness of God, the only true governing authority. And like freedom, authority can ONLY be granted by God.

Despite what many of us think about our own superiority or self righteousness, We The People are not strong or savvy enough to do it on our own. We succumb to sin. We fall prey to our "feelings." Our earthly wants.

This country is divided. Violently split down our emotional centers. The stewardship we've been granted isn't governed by God anymore but lost to the one's who lick their fingers, place them in the air, and see which way the wind blows. 

Leaning on humanity's wisdom is like building your house on sand...it sinks.

Tomorrow and forevermore, I will build my house on the rock solid foundation of Truth. That Jesus Christ is the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings, my Redeemer, and my Living Water. The only thing that sustains.

Tomorrow I will vote not for what feels right for me....but with discernment for what glorifies God and his purposes. For... We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America....is from men who were created in His holy and just image.

God Bless us.

Will There Be Rest For The Weary?

"I'm 74 and I'm Tired"

I'm 74. Except for a brief period in the 50's when I was doing my National Service, I've worked hard since I was 17. Except for some serious health challenges, I put in 50-hour weeks, and didn't call in sick in nearly 40 years. I made a reasonable salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, it looks as though retirement was a bad idea, and I'm tired.

Very tired.

I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.

I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to.

I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in Australia, New Zealand , UK, America and Canada, while no one from these countries are allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia or any other Arab country to teach love and tolerance..

I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate.

I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses or stick a needle in their arm while they tried to fight it off?

I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of all parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.
I'm really tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems.

I'm also tired and fed up with seeing young men and women in their teens and early 20's be-deck them selves in tattoos and face studs, thereby making themselves un-employable and claiming money from the Government.

Yes, I'm damn tired. But I'm also glad to be 74. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter and her children. Thank God I'm on the way out and not on the way in.

-BILL COSBY

The line for water and ice now at Union Square

The line for water and ice now at Union Square