Dun-Dun, Dun-Dun, Dun-Dun

"For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life."

 2 Corinthians 5:4

Sitting on the rooftop of a West SoHo loft. Sheets of rain pound Jersey. The weather is coming our way and we're all exposed to the elements. The elevator decided to break down during load in. And an additional grip is struck in there. We're communicating via walkie. She doesn't seem to suffer from claustrophobic situations. but 20 minutes has passed and that could all change.

The electric crew is carrying lights and stands up six narrow floors. This does not make them happy as their  normal diet of bacon, cream cheese, and Marlboro mediums can't sustain. New Jersey is drying off and the cold wet rain has reached its span across the Hudson and onto all of our stiff necks. It's a four page scene of unnecessary and contrived dialogue to finally get the rapist to the literal and figurative edge so he will confess.
I yawn and study the faces of the weary. Stare into the heart of the greedy, ponder the motivation in the underpaid souls of young PA's with a hope and a dream.
Then I question the foundation of those that seem to be living theirs...

The rain has ceased. Or headed East. The sun rays come through the dispersing clouds and shine on two water towers that look like erect nipples. I miss my husband. I haven't seen him awake in nine days, making it difficult to practice for a family and impossible to start one.

Do you know why you are... where you are?

It's A Prayer Party And All Are Invited

Oh how sweet, they made colorful posters to point the women to their banished basement and inferior status.

Jesus Christ Superstar

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me."  John 10:27

                                      

It was this cover story that finally brought my weakened state of mind and body to tears.

Weepy from the week of crew tension and waking hours, I broke down in between bites of breakfast with the majority of the sound department and most of the grips. It was ignorance about faith that tipped me and my fortitude into a sobbing mess...

The normally conservative editorials in the Post took the conformist route and said that the pious quarterback will not survive the temptations of the modern day Sodom and Gomorrah which is New York City. This man who has been "indoctrinated" with bible stories will be under fierce attack as he experiences the hedonism to him that is available 24 hours a day. How dare he think that God watches and blesses his football performance? He will crash and burn... His proselytizing will turn to pleasures of the flesh. Everything he's "been told" will disappear under the glow of the bright lights of the big city.

As I swallowed the truck swill, I told the agreeing crowd, that the "truth of the gospel" has to be experienced not just heard. And once the Christian faith is your foundation that is handed to you from the Word of God, it is immovable. Not to be shaken.

And while I have fought harder and come up against more resistance about my faith in the Lord as being the Son of God, my sound stability despite living and breathing in this town and the storms it brews  is unwavering.

He's the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords.

Our anchors hold and grip the Solid Rock. That Rock is Jesus.

Are you firm in your footing?

Land Of Plenty With No Privacy

"Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave,to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name." Revelation 13:16-17

While everyone seems to be buzzing about iPads and healthy vending machines in taxi cabs, I weep for the future. As the newly cut and coiffed women giggle at the notion of finger signing a computer screen for an overpriced hairdo, I shudder in the corner and think twice about my split ends. While the line at Starbucks diminishes down as the caffeine driven swipe their wrists at rapid speed, I slow the pace by counting my coins.

If paper money becomes a relic of a bygone era, then we are officially heading into the prophesied Big Brother world of mind and body control. As we let nickels and dimes fall prey to bar codes and magnetic strips, we are willingly relinquishing our freedom.

Our smart phones. An extension of our being. Our connection to the world around us are slowly becoming an addictive weapon that's being passed off as convenient and contemporary.

Call me crazy but digital wallets track your whereabouts, your spending, and your habits...bad, good, or incriminating.

How can that be innovative?

Where There's Smoke, There's Smiles

An excerpt from my building's email chain of demands.


~Also, may I please ask that whomever is smoking marijuana in the building every so often to please do so by your front window and/or patio. And please put a towel under your front door! Its only common courtesy...smoking should be a private matter not a public one!!!~

A Respite From Daily Darkness

"Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth." Psalm 50:2

There is no arguing the fact that the magical moments New York City has, can take your breath away and leave you spellbound... thanking the Lord in heaven, you can live here and walk these streets where millions flock year after year to experience a mere taste of the glorious insanity.

This morning watching the spring fog lift as dawn cast her amber glow onto Fifth Avenue and up the empty steps of The Metropolitan was one of those times.

Can you find the light in your daily life and strife?

Memo To Myself About Joining DGA...A Deterrent

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

Hope. Joy. Peace.

The emphasis placed on the importance of television production instead of health and well being has become a soul sucking, dark force to be reckoned and wrestled with until I  eventually come out on the other side, gasping for pure, clean air and a life consisting of kind substance and consistent rest.

Until then I will operate with skewed priorities and misplaced truths as to what we are losing sleep over and fighting feverishly for...

That's the plan anyways. 

I asked Ice how he was doing during a particularly demoralizing, eye rolling day. 

"Me, I'm always good. Cause I have a reference to pain. And this is the good life."

Mmmm.

The good life.

Episodic television.

The cutthroat drama spoon fed and soaked through into my psyche that if I drop a line or miss a cue, I will  be doomed into a world of lesser excitement and weakened fun.

The four walls of make believe that seep false smiles and cause you to question your worth, purpose, and sensibilities of understanding the lack of depth in dialogue or comprehending the shallowness of character.

The appeal of national adoration beckoning me to adopt the notion that this work matters and the stunted growth is inspiring.

The flashing bulbs and soft opal lighting blind me.

When I close my eyes on set and let the words of a fellow actor saying "most people would die to be here" mixed with a wave of nausea wash over me, I thought about the good life.
And wondered.

Is he right?


**DGA-Directors Guild of America

In Honor of My Irishman- Have A Listen

This was the line for McSorley's at 8:56 a.m., March 17, 2012

I live above an Irish Pub in the East Village at the end of the parade route on a gorgeous Saturday in New York City.

Let their revelry begin...


This was the line for McSorley's at 8:56 a.m., March 17, 2012

Steadfast

“Let it be known to all of you and to all the people of Israel that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead—by him this man is standing before you well. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:10,12

A reminder in my writing absence.

An Episode I Would Repeat

More NYC Homage

Woman On A Ledge

"Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble." Psalm 19:165

New York City has a palpitating energy that once in the intoxicating grasp. it is hard to escape.

Because if and when you untangle yourself from her exasperating clutch, and spend a few days outside of the dizzying speed and constant hum, you question just why and how you operate in a manic state of mind and motion by your own volition.

Yet, once back into her illuminated grit, success driven, booze infused, self important, dark shadowed, skyscraper canyon your heart seems to swell in her calloused palm.

Even when I go, I love to come back.

Am I on the brink?

Let Me Be

The lines have deepened across my forehead.
Stress sores cover my chapped lips.

And even I am tired of hearing my complaints.

Formerly British Honduras.

Next to Guatemala.

I'm falling off the grid.

So you better Belize it.

SHHHHHH!

Namaste.

Stars: They're Just Like Us

Ways I know I have become jaded in NYC.

Reason 99

Stood in for Academy Award winner Laura Linney in a scene for Academy Award winner Susan Sarandon.

And after the 1st take of their juicy catfight,  I quit watching.