Waiting on Calgon's Promise

"Then say, “Save us, O God of our salvation, And gather us and deliver us from the nations, To give thanks to Your holy name, And glory in Your praise.” 1 Chronicles 16:35

After I downed my last swallow of an Argentinian Cabernet that I debated over buying based on the over $10 price tag, I looked at my husband and said, "Tomorrow I need some alone time and a good cry."

And so, after putting my dear friend who is recovering from two surgeries, five chemotherapy treatments, loss of her fertility and hair and on her sunrise flight home this morning, I have retreated into the corner of a coffee shop to weep over the headlines of the Sunday New York Times.
Not exactly the release of tears I needed.

Now in the spirit of the season of thankfulness, I fully understand my blessings are amazingly abundant and to look in the eyes of a thriving baby that came from the Lord and grew inside of me is to fully feel gratitude.
Still in the same held breath, to spend endless hours alongside that same bouncing boy with a voracious appetite for breast milk, egg yolk, crib paint, pinecones, and all things he can grasp with his razor sharp claws within his keen eagle eye, all whilst screaming in his carseat, stroller, high chair, my arms and within ear shot of anyone with an allergen to children desiring a quiet Saturday can take its toll.

I MISS MY FREEDOM. MY FREE TIME. MY FREE THINKING. MY FREE SPIRIT!!!

But in the quiet of the moment, with the last sip of my morning joe and a quick slap across my face, tears fill my aging eyes and I can quickly gain perspective.
Grateful can't convey my feelings or my (temporarily rattled) state of mind.
I am blessed more than ever and content in the current crazy chapter with a need for the proverbial bubble bath and occasional visits to my prior pre-baby life.