Friday, January 3, 2014

Dancing Backwards In High Heels

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Now, if I would have made some far fetched resolution in this turn of the calendar year, I would be stricken with an unwanted pressure to produce while my infant teeters on toddlerland, demanding I crouch behind his every "look mom no hands" attempts.
Since I have spent the better part of the holidays in an array of various lounge pants with minimum vocabulary retrieval, I know not to be so foolish.

However, it  was brought to my attention the embarrassing lack of frequency in which I pound out my thoughts for my personal affirming and the public's mild amusement.
As if I didn't already know my passion for writing has taken a way rear seat to more pressing matters of bodily functions such as sniffing, snotting, wiping and coughing...

What I am a missing is perspective...
Or is it the favorite buzz word for self helpers this New Year season?
Balance.

As I sit by the dying embers of the first fire of 2014, I am indescribably grateful for this past year.
A year that brought a miraculous son born to two fiercely independent vagabonds.
It has blessed and grounded us in one forceful, wonderful blow.
A new life in which I have to steal time to take a pee alone and sit in silence with my thoughts.  Thoughts these days that are limited in scope and subject matter, but mine all the same.
 It has become clear as crystal, this new found life has me dumbfounded and has literally knocked my legs, which I thought were solid right out beneath me.

Today I rinsed out another soiled diaper in the laundry room sink only to return to a running faucet and flooded floor hours later. I cut carrots and pears into bite size pieces, or so I thought as I banged on his back to cease the choking. I looked in the mirror and saw the days old ponytail with gray wisps and over sized sweatshirt had left the proverbial realm and become my reality.

And then the call came....Would I write a devotional for a mom's group and share my juggling, struggling, wisdom?

What? Write? Wisdom?  Are they kidding?

So tonight on the third day of the new year, I return to the discipline, embrace my beautiful mess, and pray for harmony to meet my discord.

 I can do this.



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