Cough Hack

Reason to not love NYC Number One:

I have absolutely no say in the matter of whether I choose to be a second hand smoker in this town.

Gotham's Gravity

"...For why should my liberty be determined by someone else’s conscience?" 1 Corinthians 10:29

The undeniably powerful tractor beam that is New York has embraced my broken spirit and brought more peace into my exhausted bones which Georgia has rung out of my already lifeless body.

That wasn't the plan.

I must have been hypnotized with the no place like "home" for the holidays propaganda bullshit that fills the air waves this time of year.

I fell for it.

Shaken into semi-consciousness, flying over the dazzling orange lights of the Empire State's iconic emblem last night, but fully came to on this crisp autumn morning, hand picking my orchard apples at a farmer's market, steps from my front door.

I realize why so many are attracted to and decidedly call New York their home.

It isn't physics. It's FREEDOM.

What is more important?

Seeking Peace and Contentment

"On a high and lofty mountain you have set your bed, and there you went up to offer sacrifice."Isaiah 57:7

"It is becoming abundantly clear. If I move to the country...I will never have time to write."

Could it be New York is less volatile?

Unnecessary Punishment

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," Romans 3:23

I've completely lost my motivation to write.

Not that I would expect anyone else to take notice of drivel vs. drive.

But for me, the fact is painfully evident.

One through the physical void of actually vomiting thoughts onto a screen.

And two, by the undeniable guilt that plagues me at day's end; that sends me into a fitful sleep, wrestling with the lack of productivity and the growing amount of books I know I will never read nor write.

My latest match transpired on the last shoot date of our most recent Law and Order Episode. In a sleepless fog, I sat at a round table with Treat Williams and JP our writer and discussed what moves us to move.

To write. To perform. To excel. To chase the dream.

And in one of the most candid conversations I have experienced in this facade filled business to date, was we all admitted the kick-starter was GUILT.

This guilt so all consuming, it shadowed the passionate joy of a goal met. A finished product.

Chastised. I thought....

My writing focus has narrowed.

My political interest has become anger.

My love affair with New York bi-polar.

My insane city life mundane.

And because of this tunnel vision, I've failed to find the extraordinary in my ridiculously inspired present existence. I've learned to complain.

I have in fact become a true New Yorker.

But without the Valium.

How does one become so terribly lost and how do I find my way back with the challah crumb trail?

From Both Sides Now...

The city is saying enough.

Daily News

New York Post

In Idiot Advertising News...

Shinola

But the king shall rejoice in God; all who swear by him shall exult, for the mouths of liars will be stopped." Psalm 63:11

Bullshitting. This is what I am discovering is the finely tuned skill for success in this business. A big heaping, polished pile of shit disguised with finesse, steeped in hot air blowing, under the table scheming, and lip service served with a smile you would second guess.

Let me be clear. Although it is all consuming and I witness people falling prey to the behavior on a daily basis, it is not what I will adopt.

I'd rather be a dim star who still smells sweet.