My Block

20 years ago: The East Village Memorial Day riot on Avenue A

How things have changed.

What? Me Quit?

Can you hear that sound?

Listen.

It was slow and faint for a while but now louder than ever before.

Do you hear it?

Hard to decipher at first but now indisputable.

The last gasps of steam are puttering out me as I try to climb over this concrete mammoth, blocking my path towards quasi success.

(Definition still up for debate)

I've been anesthetized by the exhaust and numbed by the noise.

And my New York City blog reflects it.

Even meeting my absolute inspiration for character acting confirmed it.

We sat shoulder to shoulder over her needlepoint handiwork and both agreed New York is hard.

It's hard.

But here's to Parker Posey making it look so damn easy.

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. ~William Feather

Will you endure a little longer?

Note To Self

No Excuse

"Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more." Proverbs 31:6-7

Overworking and Over imbibing has made me a baaad blogger.

I am disappearing for the weekend to Brighton Beach to bury my head in the sand and conjure my inner playwright.

How does anyone get anything done in this city?

The Stand Out

Amongst this left leaning, primarily Jewish dominated world, there is HOPE...>>

Just Keep Swimming

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I read a wise quote about not letting failures go to your heart nor successes to your head.

This industry's daggers have seeped into both and before I give it the opportunity to twist in any deeper, I'm temporarily switching roles.

Tomorrow I am a casting agent's assistant and will finally get to hear what they say once the hopeful auditioner leaves the room wiping the sweat from his brow.

Then I might leave the business for good.

Isn't She??

PRETTY IN PINK??

XOXO

Hard Work+ Little Success=

“Why is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter of soul." Job 3:20

Someone once said, for every minute you are angry, you lose sixty-seconds of happiness.

Could it possibly be that 86,000 of today's chances for happiness went down the street's sewer drain with the torrential rains, cleaning New York's shit stained sidewalks and my sour attitude?

The first bliss filled 400 was wisely invested in my first cup of creamy coffee.

Read an article in the Times that said the largest casting company in LA/NY registers 500 new actors a week.

I shudder at the odds.

Does the old adage of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, apply to blog posts?

It's the End of The World as We Know It

“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour." Matthew 25:13

I believe the Bible implicitly.

Yet, I am not afraid of Harold Camping and his assuredness of the impending Judgement Day.

Nor do I fear the thousands who are blanketing New York with their turn or burn Rapture brochures.

I am a tad weary of the many followers who have burned through their lives savings and are spending their last remaining days, warning the city of Gotham that May 21, 2011 is the beginning of the end.

But I was downright scared of the Middle Eastern man whimpering and praying while he violently clutched his backpack and shook his head no, on the R Train.

I got off the train and waited for the next in the cold drizzle of the morning.

Call me Juan Williams.

Call me what you will.

But today, not one of us can be sure.

Do you feel fine?

Come Quickly, Lord Jesus

"To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted." Titus 1:15

In the catacombs of St. George's Episcopal Church in quiet Grammercy, hundreds came out this muggy, rainy night to support a heart wrenching and worthy Task Force called Love 146.

And in this evening of prayer, nothing mattered more than helping to save these precious girls.

How have we fallen so short of His glory?

Today in front-page news

Today in front-page news

Friday the 13th

Yep, banner day in the ole life of me.

Ran into an old friend who eyed the fever blister on my upper lip and asked if I'd been frequenting the sailor bars in Chelsea.

Took my, (according to the serial number) used five year old MAC Book to the meat packing district this morning. Only to be told that it's motor has just run out.

Rode the painfully slow express A Train to the Upper West to have my goodbye lunch with my (survival job) designer.

Over my skimpy Salade Niscoise, I handed over the office key and my pride with a simple, "Call me if you get busy" smile.

I'm quietly hoping the next window of opportunity will open as this one slams shut.

Suffocation just can't be fun.

Answered the phone call for my 1969 fitting for Men in Black 3 (yes I said 3) while I still had service and boarded a suspect empty Downtown train.

Only to be screamed at by the lone man spitting in the corner that I wasn't allowed in his house.

I apologetically left at the next stop.

Told the new Dental School graduate I could pay cash if he gave me a discount, while he sank the Novocain needle in my jawline.

Closed my eyes while my beautiful Shanghai sweetie popped my chin pimples and likened my skin type to my body type. "You'll always be trim and you'll always have bumps."

Now I'm spending the remainder of my Friday night with takeout, cheap white wine, and John Quinones.

I think it may be time to move to (GASP)... Brooklyn.

Sorry

"So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good." 1 Peter 4:19

One of the crew members I met on the Denis Leary's smoke filled days on Rescue Me, recognized me today.

He pulled up the brim of my Palm Beach seersucker hat I was sporting on Royal Pains and asked me if I was still evangelizing Christ to the Godless city of New York.

I was standing next to Henry Winkler (Jew) at the time.

That's not why I blinked ashamedly.

The truth is, I wasn't. And well haven't.

And my earnest request as this near three year love letter to NY and to my Lord painfully fade away, is that you choose to remember I once led a passionate pursuit and had something to say about it.

Didn't Neil say it best?

"It's better to burn out, than it is to rust."

Escape From New York

"But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content." Psalm 131:2

Four months.

Four solid months is really the amount of time one can eat, sleep, and breathe without ceasing in New York.

Three months if you want to skip the gnashing of teeth and guttural groans often directed at tourists gawking at the Bubba Gump sign in Times Square like it is the Parthenon.

But if you've done your near best at steering south of Midtown, once you approach the 124th day of enduring the diabolical machine of Manhattan, chances are your head has started to rattle.

And the only remedy that will ease the impending skull explosion, is to get out.

And get out fast.

Before the pulsing ambulance siren becomes a normal ringing in your ear, where a bloody nose and racist slur in the park are just part of the scenery, and you begin to consider four hours of sleep a good night's rest.

Once you are out. Breathe deeply. It's safe.

Watch the frown lines relax and diminish in the unobstructed sunlight.

Feel your tensed elbows relinquish their fighting stance and fall gently to your side.

Hear that?

Its silence.

Now, isn't that better?

Take This Job And

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”Philippians 4:6-7

Scripture I repeat calmly, as I write an employment reference letter for myself.

After 18 months of steadfast loyalty and passive aggressive dexterity, the break up with my part time employer came in the form of an its not you, its me email.

And I must walk bravely into the dating cesspool of New York survival jobs once again.

Sometimes New Yorkers have no heart...

I know.

I ride shoulder to shoulder with them on the L Train.

Courtesy of Sanstaste.

Hey, We're Gonna Get You Too...

"For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed ; the offspring of the wicked will perish."Psalm 37:28

Thank you to our troops for their undying vigilance in pursuit of our continued safety.

And bringing solace to the families who have lost so much.

I am not a violent woman.

But I am thrilled it was the relentless US Military that pulled the trigger.

"And so his demise should be welcomed by all who believe in peace and human dignity." OBAMA