Unhappy Hipsters

It's lonely in the modern world...>>

Fast and F'N Furious

"For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open."
Luke 8:17

Why isn't anyone questioning our ethically challenged Attorney General just how come he, as head of our Justice Department had no idea about ATF's botched sting operation carrying over 1700 semi automatic weapons across Mexico's border which fell in the hands of drug cartel and resulted in the deaths of a border patrolman and countless others?

More importantly, how the hell didn't our President have this knowledge?

Same way he missed the fact that it was the stimulus plan he indeed signed in February was what reauthorized the very tax breaks for corporate jets he was denouncing in last night's poor form and ill fitting press conference, right before he packed his luggage for 2 weeks in Martha's Vineyard...

And back to all of the AK-47's lost across the WIDE OPEN Border, why is Vince Cefalu the fall out guy...>>

I'm starting to wonder, are the puppets in charge contributing to the decline of America?

Mind Over Matter

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?"

Matthew 6:25-30

Do you believe Him when he says, He won't leave you alone?

* Fully aware that our President is urging us to "Up Our Game", Gay Marriage just became legal in NY, the full on character attack is being unleashed on Michele Bachmann, John Stewart finds comedy in exaggerating conservative Herman Cain's "black" voice, and the debt ceiling crisis is upon us . Writing the Word of God just relaxes me more.

Fish Out of Whata

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29

Last week I got a glimpse of how to live relatively stress free on the island of Manhattan.

Besides the fact that I didn't get one day of work to speak.

I took to the four lanes of chlorinated water at my Jewish-Operated YMCA.

A contradiction. I know.

And entered the fascinating world of plump Jew Matrons who spend their two hour lunchtime kick boarding and gossiping about the latest elite camp in the Adirondacks.

And of course who's going.

After our "workout" concludes, we retreat to the showers. And complain about the new heads and poor water pressure. And all agree we must politely email the staff and let them know immediately.

Agreed? Agreed.

Then, it's off to the steamy sauna to let it all hang down and out, wipe our brows, rifle through our ancient plastic bags for who knows what, and discuss how faaast of a swimmer I am and did I know any Rockefeller heirs?

Exiting fresh and revived with purpose, we retreat to our corners of the locker room.

Yes, I think I may be onto something. A diamond in the rough if you will.

As I was dried, dressed, and dashing out the door, I looked over my shoulder at the pasty white and kind faces still drying their bountiful 70 year old bodies and heard:

"See there, you used to complain about our chats, now you're one of us. And don't we know how to have fun?"

Why Yes. Yes you do.

Gay Pride (An Overview)

*Rainbow can also be substituted for God's Promise.

Thanks New York Neighborhoodr

Sans Sunday Blues

"He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind." Psalm 107:29-31

See-Saw

Just when I think its time to pack it in and join the silent sounds of somewhere else, New York sprinkles it's glorious starlight on me and I remember why I fell so hard and so fast at first sight.

Whether it was Puck throwing fire and iambic pentameter in an Enchanted East Village Garden one Mid Summer's Night Dream or the creaminess of a Pinot Noir in a late night Heavy Metal concert on the edge of Crusty Row and Tompkins Square, I've been temporarily bitten...once again.

And while I know it would be so easy living day by day, out of touch with the rhythm and blues, I need a little give and take.

I'm back in a New York State of Mind.

And It's Rising Up All Around...

Every little bit helps...>>

The Government is telling you to...>>

Now Act...>>

Holy Pussies

A glimpse of an East Village window.

And comic relief from my last post.

Bump, Bump, Bump, Ouch

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

I used to have a real career. One I went to college to pursue.

One I found passion and substance within.

A career in which I followed the dutiful progression of climbing the ranks. An on-air radio internship liaised into a minority reporter in a small market where I learned the field's basic and bias tools and in three years rose to producer and News Director.

Maneuvered into a coveted job at Fox Sports where I wrote and edited stories about legendary ACC coaches and incomparable SEC Sports. Went on to make a more than lateral move to the NFL where I went from associate producer to host and writer conducting player interviews and calling content shots.

Now. I'm background. A 35 year old prop. A willing finger that submits herself to the widely accepted sub class and treatment amongst the risen ranks of meaningless work. A number amongst the millions. With a Type A personality working diligently against me, I'm under qualified for a speechless unpaid role in a no name independent film.

Or this according to my resume and the struggling director just one lap ahead of me.

Where once creativity ushered me forward; The lack thereof has me barely treading in stagnant muddy water and has me lining defeated ducks up to leave New York and join the forces of motherhood and (forgive me) mediocrity.

Mediocrity in my mind of grandeur and illusion. Where a life of tripping the live fantastic on stage and in person, bathing in Champagne bubbles, and floating along the seamless road of affirmation with back pats and belly laughs is what I've envisioned.

It's taken me this long to look at reality and it's enduring obstacles to say this may not be future. There may be something else.

The question is....What Is It?

Summer in New York

“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” Mark 8:36

Snorting copious amounts of cocaine, riding longboards on the sidewalk, moaning on brass instruments under windows, pissing in the street, eating overpriced eggs, and claiming to be the center of the Universe because you live in NYC has been a long practiced custom of this town.

And me trying to stop the flow that is and enforce the unenforceable is making my limbs weak and my mind unstable.

The enemy whispering the lies of more, more, more shows its power on every face of reveling late nighters and driven early risers. Tangible greed common to all is doubly magnified here and the lacking in the have nots, breeds inferiority.

I see it with my own eyes. I fight it. I know the Rock I cling to.

And remember the words of the wise Bilbo Baggins:

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." -

Did you just ask, Who made me God?

The Silent Series (Last Gasp)

The Silent Series (Part 4)

The Silent Series (Part 3)

The Silent Series (Part 2)

Scenes of Silence

Soldiering On

"Keep me safe, LORD, from the hands of the wicked; protect me from the violent, who devise ways to trip my feet." Psalm 140:4

My baby brother leaves tomorrow morning for a year term in Afghanistan.

He will celebrate 20 years old at weeks end.

Not fashion, food critics, or the city's fanfare matter one bit.

Oh God on High, bring him home.

And Heaven, help my heart.

Meaningless?

"This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them—for this is their lot. Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God." Ecclesiastes 5:18-20

Hoping this makes every one's Monday a little more palatable.

Is your work honoring your deepest desires?

Love, Lost, and What I Wore

Highly entertaining and at times so relatable, it had every woman in the audience crossing her legs to stop the urination flow.

If it wasn't for the chemical cleaners in the theater seats giving me the itching notion that I was one of the first victims of this seasons Bed Bug epidemic, I would have stayed to shake the actresses hands.

Most notable quip:

According to Nora Ephron, once a woman of a certain age starts wearing Eileen Fisher, it's all over.

Do you think these woman have accepted that destiny?

*Caught Saturday Morning outside East Village store for the SUMMER SAMPLE SALE.

Distractions

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

The conscious choice to steer clear of my passionate involvement in politics has only made room for more frustrations and I can only look at Trump and Palin's power play dinner over slices of NYC pizza as amusing and the first move in a long, drawn out chess game.

New York hasn't changed.

I have. And it's all I can say.

I stare at this blank screen and blinking cursor with a mind that hasn't lived in the present but ten paces ahead of it's crowded self.

I think of readers.

But mostly I think of how life is rapidly passing me by and I'm caught in a fruitless jet stream of an actor's life for me, leading me further away from home base and my purpose.

From dodging the angry flexing of the skin head screaming and spitting on the corner that I'm trying to cross to dropping off my pleading letter and fading head shot to the casting agent who won't return my call; All before I drop $900 down to the Screen Actor's Guild representative as he shakes my hand and welcomes me into the land of opportunity and option to the Devil's Playground of fame (Hooray for me, this is actually a huge feat) Doing this in route to another rejection, ( I mean audition, Freudian slip) I stun the local shaman with scripture as tries to beckon me to join in his breath and experience the calm in a city of 8 million in 90 degree heat.

I find it near impossible at the end of the day to summon the happy and spread the sunshine of contemplation and consideration of life, liberty, and the luck of the hand we draw as we chase the horizon and the dreams that dance at the edge of our reach.

So instead of writing, I meet with a psychotherapist at an institute known for crazy but mostly their sliding scale and vomit out my formative years and give him fodder for a best selling novel which people will read and thank whomever they believe for the life they were given, instead of mine.

Now tell me, what's wrong with this picture?