"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
I used to have a real career. One I went to college to pursue.
One I found passion and substance within.
A career in which I followed the dutiful progression of climbing the ranks. An on-air radio internship liaised into a minority reporter in a small market where I learned the field's basic and bias tools and in three years rose to producer and News Director.
Maneuvered into a coveted job at Fox Sports where I wrote and edited stories about legendary ACC coaches and incomparable SEC Sports. Went on to make a more than lateral move to the NFL where I went from associate producer to host and writer conducting player interviews and calling content shots.
Now. I'm background. A 35 year old prop. A willing finger that submits herself to the widely accepted sub class and treatment amongst the risen ranks of meaningless work. A number amongst the millions. With a Type A personality working diligently against me, I'm under qualified for a speechless unpaid role in a no name independent film.
Or this according to my resume and the struggling director just one lap ahead of me.
Where once creativity ushered me forward; The lack thereof has me barely treading in stagnant muddy water and has me lining defeated ducks up to leave New York and join the forces of motherhood and (forgive me) mediocrity.
Mediocrity in my mind of grandeur and illusion. Where a life of tripping the live fantastic on stage and in person, bathing in Champagne bubbles, and floating along the seamless road of affirmation with back pats and belly laughs is what I've envisioned.
It's taken me this long to look at reality and it's enduring obstacles to say this may not be future. There may be something else.
The question is....What Is It?
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