"Because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."Philippians 1:5-6
No matter where I am.
"Cut off as I am, it is inevitable that I should sometimes feel like a shadow walking in a shadowy world. When this happens I ask to be taken to New York City. Always I return home weary but I have the comforting certainty that mankind is real and I myself am not a dream."
Helen Keller
If my soul weren't mine, living in my body, and seeing my reflection in the city's glass, I would stumble upon this blog and deem the writer indecisive and certifiably bi-polar.
The question of staying or going in this God forsaken and glorious city rears its troubling head far too many times for the author to have a stable grip on what she wants or needs.
Hemingway said New York is a place one comes for a short time, and in my brief stint I truly understand the dichotomy of placing love and hate on the same subject.
In truth, I find peace in my wavering.
"A hundred times have I thought New York is a catastrophe, and fifty times: It is a beautiful catastrophe." Le Corbusier
And the beauty of the chaos and contradictions can't be felt if you're not here.
The beaten brow drive, the unrelenting passion, the constant restlessness, and the energizing want just to be a part of it is intoxicating.
It sucks you in and spits you out, beckoning you to come back for more, whispering in your ear, there's no where else....
No, the desire to dance amongst the addicts in the fleeting seconds of bliss and bile is not to be understood by visitors or bystanders alike.
For those that live here; The struggle to stay afloat is shared.
And we fight tragically for this hard knock, delirious lifestyle.
“One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years” Thomas Wolfe
And once it flows fast into your hard working, blood pumping veins, it's hard to escape it.
So is this my existence?
"indecisive and certifiably bi-polar." I love it, but that's what your life is all about these days! And has been since you got there. That's what makes your blog so interesting! I still have so much admiration for you! :)
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