Monotony

"The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son." Matthew 22:2

Two months and counting...When I first started talking about living in Manhattan in my early 20's, my ideal commitment time was 2-3 years.  Then as time marched on and life got in the way, I had shaved it down to a mere, I'll live in NYC for one year. And just last year when I sat across from my husband and said. New York is not going away, it keeps rearing its head....I need just 3 months to scratch my insatiable itch . Tomorrow I'm entering my third month and I've only just begun to scrape the surface of it's skin.  What was I thinking? 

When you're visiting this city, your days consist of walking from one eatery destination to the next. Your schedule revolves around your appetite and your business around your reservation times. You don't truly experience the energy or the culture. Nor, do you grasp the wild adventure of schlepping your groceries on your shoulders ten blocks home at rush hour after a twelve hour workday.

 With that being said, I would much rather live in New York than visit... 

Despite the ample walking that occurs as a visitor, when you're eating greasy buffalo mozzarella Lombardi's Pizza, Chelsea Thai fish noodles, Delicatessen's crispy fish and chips and bacon sliders, and Balthazar's creamy chocolate anglaise washing it all down with stiff mojitos in one day, at some point the vacation has to cease and a routine must settle in.  

I love my husband visiting but it's high time he lived here too...

I'm damn near satiated.

Do you follow me?

Matter over Mind

"They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven." Psalm 107:30

I don't want to lapse..but days and nights like these, it is impossible to sit and be self reflective. Patrick is here and my focus is to show him the passion I feel for this city so the passion he feels for me will transpire itself in a life here..

And the life we want, the family we pray for, the dream we seek, will find us here....42nd to Hudson, Broadway to Greenwich, we're walking hand in hand. We've got high hopes. And now we'll relish the togetherness and the reconditioning. Alone.

Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.

Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

Have you ever sacrificed for love?

Fight the Good Fight

"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him" 2 Samuel 22:31

I met a young Canadian boy the summer of 1998 smack dab in the middle of our freshman/sophomore year of college in the lobby of university dormitory at midnight in intoxicating Prague, Czech Republic. I was coming in from a long train from Munich and he a night out in Old Towne. We had an instant connection. Spent a fantastic summer in Europe in an absinthe/hash daze stumbling over cobblestones laid in the 1300's. I shared with him my faith in the Lord, he told me of his adamant rejection of religion. 

We were raised polar opposites and disagreed on plenty. If anything, we were consistent.

Fast forward eleven years, our written correspondence has had a chance to bloom with recent reunions here in New York.  We genuinely love and respect each other and still to this day are consistent in our stance, both nudging each other to come on over to each other's side.

This most dear non-believing fantastic friend of mine sent me an interview today with scholar Bart Ehrman on NPR.  He's written a book about the early scribes who through misinterpretation and some intention,  changed the Bible and in theory the Lord's true words.  In translation if things were theologically questionable or hard to swallow, they tweaked it so the layman could understand. Which of course begs the question why the didn't omit the lambs opening the seven seals but added stories of just and righteous judgement. Who is this guy to say Jesus is misquoted...?

At any rate, this argument that Ehrman formed his whole book on is without a doubt absolutely feasible. Does it change who HE is?   Not in the slightest.  This is where I have a problem. Why is everyone trying to negate the Word of God? Everyone is trying to prove the Christian faith wrong or deem us misinformed...for what a feather in your cap?

I have news for you, is you are basing ANY of your beliefs on what MAN is telling you, you probably are WRONG!

 I don't believe that you can necessarily become a Christian by reading the Bible, nor can you find your tangible proof of God in words from Genesis to Revelation.

Hence Faith: (noun) A belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.

But to ask the Lord into your heart, to feel the Holy Spirit working inside you, to walk without fear knowing His hand is on you. To experience His Grace. To seek Him and to know Him and devise your guidance through a relationship with the Lord has nothing to do with the fact that the ancient day scribes changed a word or two.  

Walking with Jesus is my portion. The Bible is my 2nd helping of crusty bread and drenching water.   

The debate is between You and Him. Not you and me.

What keeps you running?

It's Time to Shine

"I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all." Ecclesiastes 9:11

Time and Chance. To All.  I love that about God's plan.

Come to me my melancholy baby, cuddle up and don't be blue..all of your fears are foolish fancies baby...B. Crosby

Settling in to the kickstart of my weekend (on Wednesday) with a healthy glass of Cabernet and the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald oozing me into that low relaxation mode.Spending the last five days as background on television sets has been thoroughly exciting, fairly lucrative, and decent grubbing. However, it definitely zaps my mojo..Today was errand day. My husband is coming to New York City tomorrow and I'm proverbially rolling out the red carpet which is not really necessarily here. The city is gift enough.  You either feel it or you don't..Met a woman from Alabama yesterday who has been here for 16 years...still with a honey southern drawl she explained to me that New York was built on a geographic rock structure that generates electricity and energy. It charges you while you're here and when you leave you become depleted. She went on to say she occasionally will venture away from New York but scares herself as she thinks she might die from boredom and often cuts her vacations away short. But she still sure is cold here....

The average temperature for NY in March is 50 degrees and the low 34.  Today was a flawless deep blue sky with a radiant sun warming these concrete walls to a snug 63 degrees. And you would have thought we were on the riviera. Pasty white skin was revealed in more ways than I can count. Brown bag lunches sprawled on the steps of the Met, the lines at Union Square farmer's Market were 10 deep, restaurant doors thrown open for patrons craving alfresco dining. Looks like New Yorker's have been fervidly anticipating spring...their out of their apartments by the droveful.Me in my usual black down jacket rushed from deli to street vendor snagging two dozen roses for $10, low brow white wine for a good time, and  the best $1 fresh falafel you can buy...by the time I lugged my goods to the TRIangle BElow CAnal...I was in a full blown sweat.If I love this city in the winter, I feel obsession approaching with spring.

"Springtime is on my mind
Flowers blooming, all the time
Smell the roses
Smell the grass
Old man winter can kiss my ass" Spinal Tap

Have you had your time in the sun?

Little Fame

"But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace." Psalm 37:11

"Last Looks everyone...if you're doing a close up of Blake, I've got to get in there." hair & makeup

Considering all the last looks on our Gossip Gals and an fire alarm evacuation from set, a five minute scene made the creep to 13 hour shoot in Brooklyn Heights...

My St. Patrick's Day (Irish by marriage) began on the R Train at 7:30 this morning,my arms filled with Nancy Reganesque clothing and my car filled with burly wide shouldered lads who had already commenced the cajoling; a wee sexy I might add.  And ended shortly before midnight where I slept walked into my Irish Masshole friends open door to chilled Tullamore Dew and Corned Beef and Cabbage overlooking the radiant and rather green Empire State Building. Just gorgeous!

The in between was where the magic happened..or so the saying goes.

 Being on set  has an amazing undeniable energy you can not experience at alternative jobs...getting checked through wardrobe, bathing in the lights, listening for the Art Director's commands, networking with the most curious and interesting of characters (met a woman who writes about burlesque) But mostly, it is watching the stars up close and in their element. It is true entertainment.

I have never seen Gossip Girl so I can not speak of the younger stars...

Here is who had my attention.

Wallace Shawn. You might not recognize his name, but there is no mistaking his face or that voice...Some of my favorite works include his first role in Manhattan( in which Allen calls him homunculus), the inept kidnapper from Princess Bride, Mr. Hall from Clueless, and Rex the Dinosaur in Toy Story.

 You got the picture?  Yes, he's an actor. More so an honored playwright, but most importantly he is the son of the famed editor of the New Yorker magazine, William Shawn, who reigned for over three decades. A literary genius upbringing and an Ivy league intelligence, all wrapped up in a little true New Yorker bundle bringing some serious culture to the otherwise vacuous world of an upper East Side teenager. And he didn't call for countless makeup touches between takes...

Honestly, I had to pinch myself all day. Not for not wearing the color of the Shamrock, but because I can't can't believe my luck.  Did I mention I'll be featured on the finale?

Where are you searching for your pot o'gold?

Enough's Enough

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Thessalonians 5:18

"But they didn't figure, What my wit's as quick as a hair trigger . He's not your everyday-type Prankster. He's Ice-T, the original gangster." Unfortunately I did not get close enough to Ice-T this morning to let him know the soundtrack to my 8th grade year was that very album.  I'm quite sure he would have been impressed...S.V.U baby! 

Held in the catacombs of  St. John Divine on Cathedral Parkway and fed a barbecue lunch to make a Georgia girl proud, I'm adding Law And Order to my credits! Just another trench coat in the New York streets.

 Y'all I am tired. And when I'm tired. My i's are long and drawn out like a sticky syrupy molasses and my eyes lose their shine. This is no good as I've been casted on New York shows for the next three days...criteria, Bright eyed and No accent. And gasp, I've reached the ripe parental age. I am an upper west side mom of a Gossip Girl graduate...Bring on the pastel sweater sets and pearls!  The last two casting calls that came through, I absolutely resisted but after talking to a gentleman today about his blessings that have come  from God Alone, why would I push away the opportunity? 

A now SAG member with a remarkable star studded resume, he told me he prayed and followed God's will every step of the way...Shame on me. I'm getting work while 1 out of every 4 I meet on set are there because of layoffs. Not silver screen dreams.

Moment of Truth:

I'm nodding out.

With the impending danger of this blog become purely narcissistic and highly unidentifiable to my readers I am taking a step back to recuperate. Quality is so much more enticing than quantity. And as I am tackling more jobs and longer hours, my creativity and insight are getting lost in the lack of sleep.  And I don't want to lose your faith.

Will you still need me, Will you still read me?

A Transplant

"If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you." Matthew 10:13

...the true New Yorker's secret belief that people living anywhere else had to be, in some sense, kidding.  John Updike

We have an overabundance of talking heads droning on about the security of America's T-notes, the safety of our people that Obama is risking, and Pakistan being an unruly nuclear bearing state, Washington is having to keep an eye on..If I wasn't so blessed to be an American, all of the negative focus could have put a damper on my Sunday morning.

This is a great city, but an even better country.

This summer at gas prices peak, my husband and I loaded up our vehicle with a tent fit for two, an igloo cooler, hiking shoes, and plenty of wide open road music. We drove 7,000 miles across the gorgeous roads of our great nation, the United States of America, taking every two line highway and scenic byway that came our way. A part of us went in search of a new home. To be inspired. To find something other than the life we were living. But mostly, to embrace another adventure. 

We journeyed through whiskey stills and Redwoods, down the Pacific Coast Highway and up into The magnificent Rockies. We stayed with my uncle who's made his home in the crazy mountains of Montana for the last 40 years. Visited with my brother-in-law who set up shop and made a family in Minneapolis. Slept on 104 degree rocks in the Mojave Desert. Meandered on an abandoned and revived Route 66 with history screaming from the cracked asphalt.  On the outskirts of the Grand Tetons of Wyoming to the eight lane sprawl surrounding Los Angeles many are dropping their anchors, investing their hearts, and building  lives around their towns. 

 Some spread their wings and fly, some never set sail.  It takes all kinds.

I admire the contentment people feel in keeping their feet planted. I don't relate.

I'm the former. Always looking for another hook to hang my hat...Atlanta has been my home base for 23 years. But I've left "home" all the while, lived in an old communist dorm in Prague, a converted tool shed in St. John, a three bedroom college flat in Australia, had beautiful views, stared at stucco walls, endured crazy roommate antics, carried my possessions in my old Trooper, and cooked in kitchens every shape, size and cleanliness. 

Never leaving my roots in the soil, all in the spirit of another peak experience.

New York City is just that, a dose of paper on my tongue that is opening doors and providing new fodder in this condition we call reality.

Everyday I am meeting more people who picked up to come here for a career challenge, a unique opportunity, a frightening endeavor, a lifelong aspiration, a new shade of green. 

I don't believe that home has to be where you were born, where your parent's live, a four wall room filled with material possessions.

Home is where the heart is. And right now. New York is my town.

"Main Street isn't main street anymore.

No one seems to need us like they did before." JT

Is it hard to find a reason left to stay?