Chance

"For the sake of my family and friends, I will say, “Peace be within you.” Psalm 122:8

It took me having a very adult conversation with my nearly 35 year old self to come to this realization. I am not going to apologize to either of my parents about the mere mentioning of the others name. I will not worry if their paths cross or if I share a day's worth of fun with one and not the other. I am done listening to snide comments, 20 year old complaints and the pain of their failure.

I will not under any circumstances feel an ounce of guilt as to which side I'm spending on which Eve and what Day. Nor will I drive over the river and through the woods to make sure equal time is allotted the other 363.

Its high time for celebrating one rather large and extended family gathering (the gamble) or absolutely none at all (the safest bet one can make).

Guest List as follows:

The older entitled brother from my mother and an old lover; adopted by my unknowing future biological father.

Only later to have two much younger brothers from my father's second marriage and two stepsisters from the new wife's first.

Bring along an on again off again girlfriend of my father and her two less than willing equally touched by divorce teenagers.

Combine the drama with my mom's 12 year ex, his new wife, their surprise son, and the new Mr. Can't Do Wrong, Harley Davidson riding boyfriend and well this "Home for the Holidays" may be the beginning of the end.

So as I sit here amongst the aftermath...not a penny richer, not a penny poorer, I question myself. Is this a game I even want to play?

Do you know when to hold em and when to fold em?