Show Some Muscle

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots." Luke 23:34

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure.

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulder
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection.

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.

"You are never greater in the sight of God, then when you forgive." Dr. Michael Youseff

So will you?

*Congratulations New Orleans Saints...Drew Brees said God is good!

Closer to Fine

"You must act according to the decisions they give you at the place the LORD will choose. Be careful to do everything they direct you to do. Deuteronomy 17:10

Everyday in every way , I am listening to the word of God. This makes putting each foot in front of the other a manageable task. Today by only the grace of God and my willingness to expose my figurative self and shortcomings...Exhilaration was the end result.

Woke a little depressed to the fact that the meteorologists were wrong again. NY received a mere dusting. Guess the bacon and pancakes will have to wait for another morning when we're buried beneath the promised storm's wrath.

So I'm hitting the ground running.

First stop....The Sweat Shop in Brooklyn...

Despite my former post, I auditioned this morning for a bitter wealthy woman who had cheated on her husband for two years with his friends and now she was unleashing it all on her therapists couch. A theater piece turned film and I brought all the bitter sarcasm I could muster. The four sets of staring eyes nodded in approval and scribbled in their notebooks before giving me the send off, "we'll be in touch...." Mmm.

Two: In a bitter cold practice room on Metropolitan Ave, an "older" southern belle from Georgia reminisces of her first few years of admiration of New York and the relationships she overcame and the harsh ones that overtook her. The director tells me special effects can cure the age gap. I just need to nail the accent. I do. Could be my biography in the making...

Three: A junior film student at NYU wants to cast a lusty 40 year old for his undergrad color piece. I read in a barren space with one video camera for Delores desperate for affection, drunk on tequila, and willing to risk it all for the charm of a juvenile delinquent with fine

upbringing...for the sake of companionship.

"I'm trying to tell you something about my life.

Maybe give me insight between black and white.

And the best thing you've ever done for me is to help me take my life less seriously.

It's only life after all.... yeah." Sailers, Ray (Georgia girls)

Does anyone see a reoccurring theme here?

Not Lying Down

"My feet stand on level ground; in the great assembly I will praise the LORD." Psalm 26:12

I'm not a goody two shoes but there is some subject matter I do not want to condone even if I am portraying a role. I thought I could overcome the premise of this chance script that is in my hands, but hours away from the audition I am convicted. I will miss it. Besides the fact that New York City writers are capable of cleverness over crudeness.... This is the main reason why...Honor Killings

We are a free nation with overtly gratuitous sexual liberties. (New York City shoves that envelope..The Robyn Bird Show is a network porn show with a catchy little theme song called Baby Let Me Bang Your Box that turns up at sundown.) We blatantly exploit eroticism and have slowly and seductively turned adultery into an epidemic. We have the right to engage in raw suggestiveness or bawdy relations...and it's a choice we all "get" to live with....

With that said, I am a self admitting boy crazy red-blooded flirt who adores sex as much as the next, but I cannot in good conscience for my film debut play a carnal prostitute who befriends her raper culprit and says things like whoring is just too hard on the knees.

It is not a picture I want to paint of me nor for other daughters.

Call me crazy for craving something a tad bit more cerebral in my hunt.

Would you betray your instincts to perpetuate your goal?

**Political Correctness is going to turn this entire world into a bunch of sissies.

Fried Chicken and collard greens are indeed indicative of soul food and can very well honor Black Heritage. What's the big deal?

Handle With Care

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" Matthew 25:40

The 2010 National Prayer Breakfast.

Praying for civility...Good idea. Pray for a revival while your at it and don't make every single opportunity a political platform.

Our Secretary of State stepped up with scripture said organized religion stands in the way of faith. I concur.

You know what is a devastating insult? When someone who has lived a protected life tells you that you can not handle the execution of a task as you wouldn't know which way to turn...then sends you out to get the coffee.

He must become greater, I must become less needs to be my mantra as I cease looking at acts of service as menial tasks and a waste of my abilities.

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." Mother Teresa

Mother Theresa was a living saint. A Roman Catholic nun who graciously served the poor, sick, and destitute people of the slums of India and the world for over 50 years. She was a compassionate humanitarian and true deserver of the Nobel Peace Price. Diminutive in stature and soft spoken in speech, she packed an inspirational punch. She dedicated her life to a mission of compassion and love and inspired nations with her selfless service. She prayed for peace, kept her judgments, and tirelessly reached out to the fallen, diseased, and forgotten. She bore witness to the dignity of every human life and walked the walk she talked. She answered a needed call to be a light of God and shone brightly with virtues we can only dream to possess in this dark, dark, dark world.

And now the lost Atheists don't want to give her a postage stamp...calling it controversial.The Freedom from Religion Organization can lick it and stick it.

MORE.

" As to my calling, I belong to the world. As to my heart, I belong entirely to the Heart of Jesus." Mother Teresa

Aren't we all in need of a good ole' fashioned Love Letter?

Snap

"The bows of the warriors are broken, but those who stumbled are armed with strength." 1 Samuel 2:4

A wonderful thing is a Tigger, Tigger's are wonderful things, their tops are made out of rubber, their bottoms are made out of strings..they're bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy oh so fun, fun, fun.

The super human ability to bounce back is defined in one word. Resilience.

The level of resilience humans can contain in their fibers is based on their already established emotional and mental health. Often those of us who put our faith and hope in the greater good of a higher power or those of us that have listened to Bob Marley's Three Little Birds one to many times have a stronger belief that every little thing is gonna be alright......Cue the bouncing.

But when you are under trauma's water and peddling against the naysayers drone.."Oh this economy" then sometimes God's or Reggae's voice is too faint to hear.

Here's what I am discovering about New York, there are people who are extremely successful in their 9 to 5 job living a lie, not specifically designed for them nor generating pleasure to their soul, but at quitting time, they pay their ten dollar cover and two drink minimum to console their heartache and hobnob with the other fat wallets because we are after all pleasure seekers and gotta make the most of life....

There are those of us who are steadfastly chasing a dream that stirs our hearts and souls with such fire that it keeps us headstrong into the wind despite the rejection, upheavals, disruptions, de-railings, doubt, and various pitfalls of the passionate yet quicksand plent freelancers world. We bring the flask to the bar and repeat ourselves in a melancholy tone that life is meant to be vibrantly lived, all the while reminding ourselves we are not at the MERCY of the powers that come to crush us.

“And thus, like the wounded oyster, he mends his shell with pearl.” Emerson

What happens when a rubber band reaches its limits?

Me and My Dark Shadow

"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future." Ecclesiastes 7:14

Puxatawney Phil is correct 39% of the time.

This is failing according to our standards.

But since I was cowering in minor discomfort at the pelting sleet in my eyes, I say he just improved his grade...

If I had to endure the same day over and over until I achieved a level of success, I would want the evening to resemble something like tonight...

Snow falling outside my window. Candlelight providing a false winters glow. Bottle of French Pinot nearly empty, copious amounts of chocolate consumed, and a call coming from the no fail agent who said its time to fly south on location. (Okay I imagined that last part)

Honestly, today I write my BLAHg with a chip on my shoulder...Not only am I cold, but I want to crawl into a hole and hibernate for the next six weeks to shake off this defeated chill.

Yes, if I was given umpteen chances to perfect today, I would stop and buy the 4' 10" octogenarian women at the F train a cup of coffee, tell the man in the elevator heading to the penthouse who just lost his job that I would pray for him, stare into the eyes of the black man in a purple cape and king's crown carrying an accordion and laugh out loud, walk through Central Park to take in the ice covered trees versus taking two trains, praise my husband for wearing five hats at his work instead of condemning him for doing too much for too little, not use the f word three tines while discussing my finances, and be thankful, thankful, thankful for my blessings thus far....cause no one knows where we will be tomorrow.

Bing!

"What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered? " Bill Murray 1993

Race Results

"My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." James 3:12

Staring at a dulling yellow wall, questioning how the hell I am racking up a bill with lawyers who make $420 an hour for drafting documents and waiting weeks in between amendments, before they push papers to the end of their over sized desks and exercise their overinflated good ole boy egos with opposing counsels until they finally get around to calling me and charging me for quarter of an hour to tell me in legal jargon that I'm not going to ever be happy with their results.

AHHHHH....Show me the lesson in this injustice and tell me why I work so hard.

Productivity- the quality of being productive;Producing goods or services; Creative

Can this be measured in angst?

How about vacant busyness?

What about in all these modern studios on all of these long blocks filled with self starting pompous people who think what they are creating is so much more intellectually sound and visually grander than the next and have no qualms of telling you so...?

How to make it in New York City...

Set Path.

Stay Humble.

Shoe Leather.


"If you are not making the progress that you would like to make and are capable of making, it is simply because your goals are not clearly defined.” Paul J. Meyer

So what exactly do you want?