Bon Appetit

"The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied." Proverbs 13:4

"Life itself is the proper binge." Julia Child

I wonder if there are as many people in as there are out. Wednesday night and the streets are spilling over with warm bodies enjoying the break in humidity and a cool 73 degrees. My windows are open to the sound of live jazz. Staying indoors tonight as I was over served at the two for one happy hour last night at nine PM. Yeah, that's New York for you. Eating and Drinking and Eating and Drinking.

What the hell am I doing? 

I'm floundering.

Crossing back in forth in front of a camera lens just doesn't spell fullfilment. 

I hunger for the lion's share.

I understand a blog is a self indulgent, narcissistic, me, me, me form of writing. 

But after watching Julie and Julia, I am overcome with inspiration and bogged down with self doubt as the statement, "You're not really a writer until you are published" keeps ringing in my ear. 

It was Hemingway that said writer's write but do writer's write what people aren't interested in reading?  Is I can write a blog. I have thoughts enough?

There can only be a tinge of success if my trials and triumphs are relatable to the reader. And if they are indeed not identifiable, I'm only advertising my journal and not connecting to a paying audience. My fears of quantity stifling quality have come true.

 And the content suffers as I sneak it in before the clock strikes 12.

Again, what the hell am I doing?

My husband told me today that he understands the need for me to earnestly follow through with a dream, to develop my passions. And he's willing to take any job anywhere that would enable me to float freely in order to do so... Thank you Jesus for bringing me a wonderful man who makes me feel the very epitome of freedom.

This blessing should be my springboard. That support my portion.

Julia Child's true success and life changing work didn't even begin to materialize until she had lived a half of a century...But she sought it emphatically and with a sense of humor.

Julie Powell worked a full time job, cooked over 500 recipes, and was still able to compose a daily thought provoking blog which indeed gave her the honored title of "a writer." 

I've left my 2,000 square foot house, sold my German sports car, abandoned our luxurious king bed, and said goodbye to dear friends. For what? 

The city. Or the person I can become in this city.

I don't want to wait until I am fifty years old to create my Magnum Opus.

So I must get cookin.

By the way, do you really care?