"Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." Isaiah 55:2
Conflicted: My believing heart hears the words but getting my wanting mind to grasp it..another story. Imagine the possibilities, only working and playing to satisfy...
"The heart of a skeptic and the mind of a child, put my life in a box and let my imagination run wild pour the cement for my feet. The heart and the mind on a parallel course never the two shall meet. And how the dissatisfied with the satisfied." Indigo Girls
I wasn't going to let it happen..I refused to let the cold break my stride but three netti-pots, countless unrequited emails and one near fateful icy fall later, I'm nursing my head cold, my tweaked back muscles, and my damaged pride...oooh we having some fun now!
Just when I thought the rest of NYC was depressed with me, I voyeuristically gaze across the street into the drapeless windows. Everywhere around me, people are ballroom dancing, hanging art one handed as the other hand juggles a martini glass, swinging from the ceilings on trapeze contraptions (Seriously, I think it's an OT office).
Life seems to be moving along splendidly.
Looks can often be deceiving, I was fooled today. The cloudless blue sky and bright sunshine poured into my tiny room and beckoned me to rise and shine and take on the day...quickly and painfully hit with the shocking truth of 8 degree windchill, I recoiled indoors.
Spent the better part of today job hunting on-line with a slice of desperation.
I've commenced to applying for jobs that even I don't want....And I know won't satisfy.
The darker side of my choleric- melancholy personality rears its head occasionally and I fight it with music...when that doesn't suffice, I pray for discernment between my wants and needs.
No, I don't want to eat canned chix noodle soup for the fourth time this week in the gastronomical capital of the world, but.
A reality check of things I need...not including job, home, groceries.
List to follow:
1. Rent Money $$
2. Waterproof/Somewhat Stylish Walking Shoes $$
3. A strong cup of coffee with half and half daily $
4. My husband's support
5. A clear head (priceless)
6. Good night's rest (8 hours w/o Ambien)
7. Decent red wine with dinner a couple days a week $$
8. Friends/Employers that do what they say, and say what the do
9. Creative Inspiration (good book) $
10. Prayer
Now the next step to be satisfied with my needs.
Can you be happy with a short list?
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ReplyDeleteI know you have what it takes to play your part in this melodrama. You have hit the nail on the head many times in your Blog. That is not an easy thing for a beginning carpenter to do, speaking literally. You have been perfecting your part by embracing your part and the uniqueness of your role as you the only soul capable of playing, well, you.
ReplyDeleteWhen Jesus Christ was here, making flesh footprints in the dirt roads, He was around your age,when the parts of His life time we read about took place. He played His earthly role to perfection. As we know He prayed Not My will but Thine. We know He lives forever and has the authority to make intercession on your behalf, when you pray the same.
We know we will make the most impact through perfect timing. And you've got that, Babe.