Performance Angst and Anger

"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11

Takes the pressure off.

Times Square in the morning sun before the rush is a humbling spiritual experience. Standing practically alone in the legendary center of the greatest city in the world aglow with countless flashing lights making Con-Edison profit hand over fist really defines the word AWESOME.

I have a moment to breathe it in before I run up the steps of a very cold 45th Street Chekov Theater for first day rehearsals.

Michael Chekov was gently warned to leave Russia at the height of his dramatic career as the Soviets thought his methods of madness were indeed that...they called his productions "alien and reactionary." Fleeing his country, he eventually came to New York City and trained and coached some of the greatest actors in all film history.

His technique while experimental in a communist country thrived in America and remains to be a widely used technique. His unique contribution to the acting world combined bold imagination, character development, active body and intense intellect resulting in visual physical acting.

Confused? You have to witness it...

Taking the barren frigid stage this morning, coffee barely in my bloodstream, I locked my arms in the throws of passion around an unsuspecting young man and spewed all the lovesick affection and scorned pain I've taken from my past relationships and threw it into my monologue.

To put it simply, I let him have it....

At last word and still clutching a rather shocked boy's shivering arms, the director says few words....baring the likes of Rare. Part made for me. Could go up tonight, and Gets it...he walks over and pens in my name for three Saturday night shows in January.

Yee-Haw! Come one, call all. I just got affirmation and as Oliver would say, Excuse me sir, but can I have some more??

I promise there will be heat.

How sweet is recognition?