Woulda, Shoulda

"A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends." Proverbs 16:28

For reasons more than I can explain, while I thoroughly hold dear my memories of high school, I would not repeat them for all the loot on Treasure Island.

What an absolutely divine New York moment...that went underground and well into the evening.  First off, it was 50 degrees and everyone had spring fever...the streets were alive and glistened with the light rain.  Thanks to Facebook, I had another glorious elementary/high school reunion in the heart of the city...15 years later. 

Met an old friend and her husband at Washington Square Park for a Friday night in Manhattan. Upon first embrace, it was so evident we had not missed a beat. Giddy with the company we prattled on for blocks. Sat in a cozy booth at Blue Ribbon Bakery and over a $13 glass of Pinot, we dove in.  Happiness, Heartache, Disease, Death, Baby's Births, Faith, Passions, Drugs, Jobs were all on the conversation docket, but what struck me the most was we talked about each other hearts and minds during the confusing time called Adolescence. 

And instead of letting our true selfs draw our worlds closer, we let our outward appearances and decisions impede on what could have been then, an unbreakable bond through those crazy smoke induced confusing years.  Sitting across from one another with smiles ear to ear thinking, Damn youth, if we only would have known.

The night led us to a restaurant where her sister had been serving for years...

At first I thought she was mistaken. You see I had been to the restaurant already, its a teeny tiny Taco Stand Dive called La Esquina in an old trailer. 

Uh correction, you walk in and go to the Employees Only door where you walk past the doorman, down the stairs, through the kitchen and into the most beautiful old Mexican cavern underground where the sangria is flowing and the music banging.   I was in awe!  

It felt real, it felt honest, it felt effortless.  

I have already mentioned the genuineness I feel here in NY that I have not felt in Atlanta for quite sometime.  A necessary element I've  been craving my whole life. 

To be myself and know I'm getting the same in return. This night was a glimpse of what that would look like?

Are you true blue? If not, why not?

Fast Learn

"Since no man knows the future, who can tell him what is to come?  No man has power over the wind to contain it so no one has power over the day of his death." Ecclesiastes 8:7-8

With so much of our lives being left to our unknown, I wonder who nonbelievers ask the difficult questions that no man can answer. Such as why? When? How? What is my purpose? Am I on the right path? Or do they walk blindly and reflect on hindsight every step of their journey? 

Today was truly a day of rest.

 I have hit a wall. A little under the weather. Heavy chest. 

And unfortunately, sitting back at the drawing board. 

Lesson 1:  In the city's freelance market, you are always at the drawing board, planting seeds, thinking outside of the box, reinventing, and stretching your abilities.

 This is what gets people's attention. But there is no guarantee.

Lesson 2: If you get their attention, they want you to jump high, fast, and with a smile. Deadlines. Deadlines.

Lesson 3: (My least favorite) Upon completion of task comes THE WAITING GAME.

Waiting for feedback, waiting for the next project, waiting for the elusive paycheck....

This is what I am quickly having to accept and understand about NEW YORK.

No more projects at hand from Scholastic. And Examiner wants me to write a few more articles before I'm featured...which in code means payed.  The Casting Network keeps sending me jobs with (no blonde's) under the criteria. OY!

So again, I'm leaping into the abyss on a wing and prayer, not knowing what tomorrow brings but hoping with every fiber of my being, it's in New York.   I love this town...and I'm not leaving. I know that much.  

Tomorrow, You're only a day away...Get back on it

In the words of Curly while eating an orange. "At first you don't suck seed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed."

Are your cheeks sore yet?

Transparent

"For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." James 3:16

"Everybody wants some, I want some too. Everybody wants some, how bout you?"

David Lee Roth

Manhattan workers make an average of $1500 (excluding bonuses) per week. 

This according to Wikipedia is the country's highest.  It is home to the nation's most valuable real estate.  Manhattan is the economic force of NYC and America.

Point blank, there is a lot of money made and a lot spent here.  

As I begrudgingly bought today's TONY titled ...Go out for Cheap, I realized I had fallen prey.... Yes, I am working. I'm writing for my living. But after walking with my friend to his clients to pick up his 7K check for a couple of days of creative consulting for a blow-out party,  I found myself sulking.  

I was thrilled for him. But for me, I thought I'm in the wrong business...

Slap, Slap, Slap. Hello?

Still, I bought a cheap bottle of Vino Rouge, scoffed at a $5 block of french cheese and headed to my two bedroom apartment in the Triangle Below Canal to set up my new Paypal account for writing for Examiner NY. My first article was due today. 

A friend called me offering me the best bargain of all, a used Macbook with Apple Warranty and programs with free tutorials for a fraction of the price and can pay in installments or labor...

Slap, Slap, Slap. Hello? Am I really still sulking??

After my second glass of wine and countless deals on theater, music, art, and eats. I was finally convicted and kicked in the teeth. Where us my imagination? Who the hell am I to complain?

I am doing what I love. I am pursuing my dream. I'm living in New York City. I'm happy. There is more wealth in that then I could ever accumulate...   

The treasure's in the thrill, not necessarily the treat.  ( I'll keep reminding myself)

Does your Gimme, Gimme, I need, I need blur your vision?

Restraint and Revelry

"I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin." Psalm 38:18

United Nations is restricting free speech, let's call it control of thoughts...
Attorney General is again interfering with our constitutional right to bear arms.
Feds are congratulating themselves on the Border Drug Wars and over 1,000 dead already this year. And these are are only three improprieties occurring on this Ash Wednesday.

I don't celebrate Ash Wednesday nor do I observe Lent.
It is a Roman Catholic Holiday celebrated as a day of repentance.
It is not Biblical as the practice started centuries later.
The custom is to purify hearts and bodies through abstinence and prayer.
The ashes received are a reminder of sins and many Catholics keep them on their foreheads all day as an outward sign of humility.
And by the number of smudged black crosses I witnessed today, there are a great deal of Catholics in New York City.
This is all great and truly noble.
And since I sin daily and need the Lord daily. I choose to repent and pray daily.

On this day of self-denial (for some) I spent the afternoon relishing in the bountiful goods and goodies of local farmers and bakers in the surrounding area. It was a farmers market at Union Square and it was amazing. I tasted tart crisp apples, dipped crusty peasant bread in rich olive oil, drank Mother's Milk beer brewed in the Hudson Valley, licked my lips from the thick cut sliced bacon, and smelled the distinctive aroma of fresh caught Rainbow Trout. I indulged.
I saw a few girls who had received ashes and asked them what it meant to them.
With a few shrugs, one simply said, "Tradition" Another girl told me she was giving up FACEBOOK for 40 days......Interesting. I wonder how that makes her feel closer to God.
I admire people's dedication. Yet, my only hope for self-control is the Holy Spirit working in me.

Again, doing as the Romans do...on my way home tonight, I walked to the gorgeous Old St. Patrick's Cathedral and sat in (amongst hundreds) on their Penitential Mass. Here is what I received. Regardless of rites, rituals, or relationships, we all need God as our Guiding Light.
This can be received not by RESTRAINT of our WILL but the RELEASE....

After the service, I grabbed some Pad Thai takeout and a creamy dark chocolate bar and was thankful for it.

"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face." Matthew 6:16-17

To whom and what are you trying to prove?

Point Break

"In frenzied excitement he eats up the ground; he cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds." Job 39:24

Chapter 1
He adored New York City....he romanticized it all out of proportion. To him, No matter WHAT the season, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin....W. Allen

This is a great city. A knockout.
I don't want to hear about its desensitization nor about jadedness. This city is alive and open. And people are people.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I don't need to apologize for my behavior nor who I am. One, New Yorkers don't care and two, if they did, New Yorkers are accepting.
Call me restrictive. I believe people exist in this city in two ways, with a ridiculous amount of money or with a refined purpose. I recognize I am still on my honeymoon, but I have yet to encounter people posturing (like Atlanta) and for this I am grateful.
I am an open book in this dynamic and diverse environment. This is the most enticing aspect of my trip yet.

An NYC metaphor. Manhattan is a wave that is reached its full peak and velocity, Catch it and it's the ride of your life. If you wipeout, better get up and paddle fast cause its moving on without you and it will pummel and pound you into the sand if you don't get up and fight it.
This city is a peak experience. Make no qualms about it. I am one hundred percent in awe.
And I'm making my way, writing my self into an overwhelming oblivion ....Hanging loose and slowly getting used to the surfers adrenaline high...

What gets your blood pumping?

Tick, Tick, Tick, Bang

"Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law." Psalm 119:18

There is an old Southern Baptist saying that goes like this here, “Hurry up, we gotta get to church early so we can get a good seat in the back.”

I am wondering how long I am going to be able to keep up this pace. Ever since I’ve had control of an alarm clock and motorized vehicle…I've been on time. Easily and obnoxiously, the first to arrive at a dinner party and an expert reviewer of opening acts. This gridlock issue has had a calming effect on me. If for some reason I am running late, my heart beats uncontrollably, my palms sweat profusely, and often have stuttered speech. Not what you would call laid back.

But by New York standards, I'm a slooow southerner. And that's pushing it.

Here it is two-fold. While I do understand it is nearly impossible in the time and space continuum but time may move faster here in Manhattan. Yes, it could be it's mass has a stronger influence on the movement of time. At least that is what my neurosis is trying to convince me as I am perpetually running late.
I can't get my wits about me..the moment my eyes open, I am rushing. I’m rushing my what should be a delicate and slow process of a French press coffee, rushing to dry my hair so my head doesn't freeze and fall off (a process I am just learning), rushing to get my body out the door, And the second I do, I’m thrown into the mix as it turns out everyone else is rushing too.
The Empire State Building changes it's light colors nearly every day. It is the most amazing spectacle as it is a focal point landmark of the Manhattan skyline. Awe-inspiring the tower has variety of color combinations to honor national holidays and events of interest to New Yorkers and can be seen near and far. It is truly something to be noticed.
Tonight as I was driving (being driven rather), I looked up and saw it's gorgeous green and blue hues shining a quarter of a mile high in the sky and I promised myself at that very moment, I would decelerate. I'll still hustle but ease the foot race of skipping stairs as I hear the subway screeching to a halt, slacken my fast forward pace and drink it all in...
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Ferris Bueller

Are you so trigger happy, you're missing the target?

Are You There Conscience?

"He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm." Matthew 8:26

I have the grace to pray. But do I have the grace to believe?
I believe I can call on Him? But do I have faith He will answer?
I don't want to be caught in a raging storm...I'm scared too and yet I find it so amazing that we are putting so much stock in all of the politicians and legislation to save the day and our hides.
Is the self talent of practicing Prudence really out the door and in the hands of policy makers? In the words of my Pastor Michael Youseff of my home church in Atlanta, GA...
"Man has the power to destroy the Earth, but only God has the power to perfect it."
I would rather pray for His perfect power than for power hungry men.
He's my shield, shelter, defender, and tower. Whom shall I fear?

I took the advice of a New Yorker to watch Bill Maher or to do his impression of me, "BEEEL Myyer". What? It's my voice.
I told him I was under the assumption (we all know that means) that Bill Maher had all like minded people on his show. I was quickly rebuked and in the spirit of being open, I complied. And oh am I glad I did. Congressman Ron Paul was on speaking the exact gospel and I had written about in a former post.
Self Regulation. Freedom of Choice. Ending the Drug War. Allowing people to make their own mistakes. Accountability. And NOT under any circumstances in given this liberty can they crawl crying to their government. If you choose Pleasure Island, take the consequences.
Jiminy Cricket's words were echoing in my ear..."You buttered your bread, no sleep in it".

It's Sunday. And I'm heading to another place of worship...but I will leave you in song.

"Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play? Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day.
The sun is up, the sky is blue.
It's beautiful and so are you. Dear Prudence won't you come out to play?

Do you judge judgement?

Nobody Wrong, Nobody Right

For if their rejection is the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead? Romans 11:15

If I sound assuming. Forgive me. With freedom of speech comes freedom of opinion. Every one's got one. I'm not trying to get you to side with me. Part of me is just trying to be understood.

My recent conversation with a friend in the triangle of green space downtown was about the most-watched television show on cable, the O'Reilly Factor. Now, New York City born Bill O'Reilly is not winning popularity contests with New Yorkers but he is most certainly gaining ratings. They watch. They listen. And With Fury.
Regardless of what you think of him. This man has created a genius persona that is growing at a rapid base and its his haters who are making his ego and empire grow.
Sure his shtick is to piss people off...He provides Colbert with endless material, Jenna Jameson another feather in her cap, and political fodder for two friends on a freezing cold park bench...He's just doing his job.

End Preface.

Today, I received another green light regarding my job and writing in the Big Apple.
Examiner.com is an online service providing information, services, current events, and opinions on New York City.
The content is provided by a handful of writers in the community who are passionate and desire to share their knowledge and experience with others in the city.
I've just been approved as a Southern Evangelical Examiner in Manhattan.
Obviously I am affirmed.
This is a testimony to New York.
Not in that they think I have something profound to say, but their willingness for another opinion. This is an option to share my story. And maybe even be understood.
Even if I'm read with Fury.

"One argument that none of us can hide, is the one thats ragin down deep inside. Tryin' to make a point, or have the last word. But most the time people just tryin to be heard." Michael Franti

Can you agree to disagree?

We the Peoples

"For God does not show favoritism."Romans 2:11

I’ve heard people say New York City as the heart-line of America. It is a near impossible task to describe or relay the explosive non-stop energy of this fair city.
It is the Headquarters of the United Nations and has 195 countries represented on one concrete island. Okay, maybe no one here represents Vatican City, although they might think they do.
It's our whole World People...From Harlem to Wall street, Jew to Gentile, Conservative to Liberal, Straight to Gay, Red, Yellow, Black , and White, all living, loving, lying, and dying....we are all precious in his sight.

I met a girl today from Staten Island. A competitive pistol shooting, Sean Hannity viewing, jack of all trades, Italian big sister, self-professing atheist. I liked her instantly.
I told her once when I visited NY, I felt an overwhelming sense of intolerance geared toward me. Open to Buddhism, witchcraft, 9/11 investigation, self-mutilation, necrophilia and more. But when it came to a southern conservative christian, it seemed minds were closed. And before I even opened my mouth.
We went on to discuss what a rarity she was....born and raised in NY with no faith and a gun owning Fox News Supporter. (Gasp) I vote conservative and think drugs should be decriminalized. Her dearest friend is "super catholic". One of my favorite's denies there is a God. And on and on went the ping-pong diversity game. So what?

The UN's preamble goes like this: Whereas recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world.

Recognition. That's the reigning theme. Not acceptance, nor adoption but the willingness to acknowledge and consider it valid or just different from yours.
Open-Minded does not mean swayable or persuadable but receptive to another perspective.

Should political, culture, and religious beliefs meddle, make or break?
And do you pigeon hole?

No Spitting Out Here

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

I really am at a loss for words. Dumbfounded at how the Lord's plan plays out. I didn't know what to expect when I made such a big move to an even bigger city. But I have been open from the start. Win or Lose, I knew this was something I had to venture to gain... Matchbox 20 sings a song about the Bright Lights City I have always related to ,"Maybe, maybe, maybe You'll find something That's enough to keep you But if the bright lights don't receive you You should turn yourself around and come on home." thanks Rob Thomas, Looks like the city's taking me in.

My newest writing assignment deadline was today. I created a prototype blog using four different voices with four different perspectives reviewing four different books. Now, I must admit, I do my voice decent, but conversing with other people as another person in a blog is a task. After hours of staring out my computer screen I rose to the occasion and quite early this morning to turn in my finished product. The results are in.... I just signed a year long freelance writing contract with Scholastic Publishing. AHHHHHH!! I can hardly believe it myself. They loved my writing, told me I was exactly what they were looking for, could I come on board, and start sending the invoices.. Uh yeah, I'll take this as a sign.

Tonight I went out to celebrate with a friend/neighbor's brother. Born and raised in NY, he is schooled in the ropes. He knows the owner of a club in East Village who was celebrating another prosperous anniversary in the Land of Plenty...The club's name, I kid you not, is.....STAY! Open Bar, Champagne on every table, amazing DJ, great vibe, and a laughing girl on the dance floor that just landed a job that pays her rent in NYC . And down go the roots. I tell y'all God is too good.

When I came in at midnight, a gal Andrea who works in my building says, "You're home too early." I told her I was pacing myself...I'm here for a while.

You never know until you try, Right Sir?

So You Better Treat Em Right

"The laborer's appetite works for him; his hunger drives him on." Proverbs 16:26

But it seems all that is changing.
Why the hell haven't I been living more outside of my means? How silly that I have not opened more credit cards. I should have been eating out in decadency instead of grilling discounted meat on my second hand grill. What were my husband and I thinking working two jobs each, playing harder should have been our approach. All that volatile wrestling over a budget.....If only I knew no matter what mistake I made, my government would come in to save me.
The American Dream is "that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement. Ability and Achievement people.
Call me crazy but this has an uncanny resemblance to something called Rewarding Bad Behavior.....

Let me tell you who works hard for their money in this city. Restaurant Delivery Guys on Bikes. New York is the land of convenience and these guys stop at nothing. I mean nothing.
Need to enhance your Monday night TV viewing? A bottle of Cote du Rhone is on your doorstep. Craving comfort food? How about a bison burger with arugula salad and hot crispy fries in minutes. Under the weather? Express pharmaceuticals at your discretion. Feeling Frisky?
A bag of Magnum Condoms is a call away.
No other place in the world can you order a three course Indian meal at midnight from beneath your down comforter.
Transporting the goods come rain, sleet, and snow. Whether at rush or witching hour, they're packing, pumping, and providing a service with smiles on their faces.
I know I'm green but when a man shows up at our office with three Jamon and Swiss croissants and two cafe Au laits piping hot, face covered in rain drops and apologizes for the 7 whole minutes it took. . A stunner. I was so overwhelmed I starting belting Donna Summer...."these guys working day to day for little money, just tips for pay."

To be crass, it's a good thing they don't have to report that cash to the IRS, or else their toil would be wasted in this bailout and a lot more spit would be in our food.

Can you tell I don't condone it?

Planting the Seeds

"Be careful how you live, not as unwise but wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." Ephesians 5:15

I believe this is the first of many passages Rhonda Byrne ripped off when she wrote The Secret.
The Apostle Paul writes , whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.
And these things will be done unto you.
Call it secret laws of attraction or rules of the universe. Call it life transforming power. I call it the God of Peace and Prosperity. And you seek your joy to the fullest when you seek Him. In fact, I believe it unfolds in multitudes.

I turned on the news at 5 AM this morning after a fitful sleep listening to the screamers on Broadway. Here is what media and media mongers are putting out there.
FEAR! FEAR! FEAR!
It is paralyzing. I could go on and on about what what we feast on minds on from an over payed, lying adulterer, less than stellar talent fraud of an athlete to throwing billions of dollars at sheer greed and frivolity that our unborn children will pay for in their lifetime.
No wonder we are looking at barren fields. This is not mysterious.

After venting to Lucia ( an Italian dance choreographer) at my gym, she told me it seems as if I am a golden child. Say what? What she meant was that it seemed I didn't have a mean bone in my body and that I was deserving of what opportunities came my way. I told her I most certainly had my faults but that the face I wear is truly my heart...Nothing shrouded.

Everyday New Yorkers are showing me they are some of the most forthright, optimistic and generous people I've ever encountered. True colors are abundant and success is plentiful. Could this be a recipe? After that pep talk from a very positive city girl, I took on the flood.

Worked 9-6 today freelancing for computer consulting company whose clients dabble or dwell in the fashion industry. It is Fashion Week, so one of my duties was to deliver a bottle of champagne to the designer. Throughout the course of the day I commenced on my overwhelming writing assignment for Scholastic (deadline is Thursday), received an excellent call to be a regular substitute teacher in the New York public school system (YIKES), and if this wasn't joy enough, I spoke to a casting agent who wants me to return as an extra on Kings..
Can I get an Amen?
This city is so ripe for the picking. Now if I could just get some sleep so I can enjoy the harvest.

Did you really think FARMING was a secret?

Sometimes, She Cries

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall."Isaiah 40:30

As if Life isn't difficult enough, then you have to add the element of people.
I'm exhausted. Forgive me, it's not from hard labor or long hours. I'm just weary from the fight. The fight of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. The conflict between Mars and Venus. The struggle with family opinion and life desire. I'm tired of being misunderstood. I'm drained by people's judgement. I'm collapsing from my care taking. Consumed with learning a new culture.
Frankly, my feet are fatigued and covered with blisters.
It is time to Clean House!! Literally and Figuratively.
Today, this peach is pooped.


My new writing job is freelance. That means when I wake up in the morn, I can stay in my robe and write , or more likely (in my case) be distracted from writing up until deadline.
This is an unbelievable blessing and dangerous curse.
Needing human contact, I decided to load my very antiquated ten pounder PC and all my assigned books into a carry all and schlep it to the New York Public Library on 42nd Street. Nine subway stops later and my normal guesstimate of East and West gone wrong, I walked past the lions, up the marble steps to the iron doors. OH, News Flash. It's President's Day, one of the few days this library closes it's entrance. I plopped my butt down on the 25 degree steps and laughed. I had a plan. Meanwhile my aching shoulder wished I could afford an Apple.

In the last few days I have read five children books dealing with financial struggles and now I have to create a prototype blog of four people (whom I have never met) having a conversation about these books while providing overview, insight, and fodder for students and teachers alike, all in a situation that feels like a cozy kitchen table chat.
Uh, if you've been reading my blog, you see I already have enough voices and opinions in my own psyche and now I have to create more. Kind of like a climatic Sybil...And I get payed for losing my mind. Zoiks!
All complaining aside, I sought this. And I am up to the challenge. I came here with the prayer in my heart to write and that is what the Lord has given me. But I can not tell a lie, on days like today I question my motives.

While looking to the unknown path ahead at times makes me sleepy, gazing back at the trail I've left behind strengthens me. And I feel it's the right road. Even if it's causing bunions.

How much life are you living, how much are you lending?

The Investment

"I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you. I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing." Genesis 12:2

You can not negate the word of God.
My fourth Sunday in New York City, I heard the Lord's voice louder than ever. It is my opinion that the majority of my peers really do want to know God better, it's church that has fallen in as an obstacle. It is a heartbreaking reality that organized religion has smudged if not stomped out the most glorious aspect of Faith in Christianity-an overabundance of grace in knowing the Lord. I believe that if people could turn off the -isms that have fallen under the umbrella of God's Will and were just in His presence, their lives would be altered. In a city of eight million, we are undoubtedly walking, talking, standing, dodging people everyday that are yearning for more.
Tonight, I was blessed.
My Manhattan church scouting led me to City Light Church in East Village. Now when I say church, you might picture an old Cathedral tucked in on a corner block, but if you blinked you would miss the three steps down to the steel door of City Light in between a sweets bakery and sushi dive. Unknowing I ventured in. And immediately knew I was supposed to be there at that time. A light to the lost.
Turns out, the lead pastor Bojan Jancic, born in Bosnia and raised an Atheist is two months older than me. He gave his life to the Lord at 16 and according to him everything changed. The sermon was finances and how in so many words, that God did not save us from hell, so we could go through hell on Earth. That the Lord delights in the well being of his children (Psalm 35)and the blessing of the Lord is wealth with NO SORROW added. (Proverbs 10) The message was simple, we are blessed, so we can be a blessing.
As a Believer in Jesus Christ, because of the cross, we have no sin in life, no fear in death, no guilt or condemnation in our walk. This is More Than Enough.

But I admit, I am a statistic. I have let money and financial struggles seep their way into my relationship and chip away. This is not God's Nature. The Apostle Paul says He will provide all of my needs through His glorious riches. Sometimes I forget and often falter.
Again, I will make mention that a lot of people are confused with my move. Today, I received a berating from my mother-in-law who proceeded to tell me she brought me to my knees and questioned my faith. She said I was giving up. I believe I am reaching up.
I stood in that church tonight weeping in victory knowing it is only to the Lord I surrender all. Faith worketh by love and his promise is He will never leave me, nor forsake me as long as I hear His voice. And guess what everyone, I hear it loud and clear in NYC. And I'm banking on it.

Where are you storing your wealth, in the material or spiritual?

LIVIN'

"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun." Ecclesiastes 8:15

King Solomon, You are too wise.
Here is what I love about New York City. On Saturday's and Sunday's...most restaurants don't start serving until 11 AM, so you can roll out of bed at 10:30 and be the first one sitting with a cup of steaming black coffee in front you.

Today, that is exactly what occurred. My sister and brother-in-law rolled into Grand Central at about 10 this morning from Western Massachusetts. I jogged a few blocks to a local haunt on West Broadway, $15 dollars for lemon-ricotta pancakes and met them at the door.
The gorgeous German hostess told us, "it's empty because Valentines, the lovers are sleeping in..." Ohh
We ordered our rare steak and Gruyere omelets and settled in with elbow room for catch-up.
Now let me preface this story, I am starstruck but as I am slowly integrating myself into New York, when in Rome, I must do as they do.
Over our seriously priced menus, I looked up over Lisa's shoulder and...Leonardo DiCaprio and his Valentine (mama) came in the front door and sat right behind me.
And y'all he was wearing a Georgia Bulldog hat...
Now, I don't know if you have seen The Departed but this is one of my all time top films and what a stellar performance he brings. See it, believe it. WHEEEEE! A New York Moment.
I know what you might be saying, he's just another person but there is no way in God's green earth US Weekly is still in business if the majority is not fascinated by a sighting such as this. Thoroughly satisfied with decadent meal, excitement, and three glances over my shoulder, we walked a few blocks to Greenwich Village.
With just one day in NYC, you have a lot of ground to cover. 10-12 blocks later,( including Ground Zero and Battery Park)) on a Saturday, we bellied up to a marble bar and a few IPA's , sesame pretzels, gourmet pistachios and gut-busting laughs later, red nosed, we limped to Washington Square park to bid our goodbyes...

On my way home through Soho's one lane streets, I was smiling ear to ear. It is so easy to catch this spirit. The energy is addictive, the drive admirable, the food divine, and oh yeah, did I mention Leo (my neighbor) cheers for the DAWGS...


Eat, Drink, and be Merry. For tomorrow, we die??

Playing With Matches

" Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife." Proverbs 17:1

Autonomy is one of the most pleasurable and easiest states to be. Self liberty at best. When you eat, where you turn, and what time you get home. All up to you. But yet in this glorious independence we are constantly in search of that life sharing companion. Everyone wants to be loved. This power struggle with self-determination and dependence is an enigma to me.

Once Upon a Time when I was single, I recall having dinner with a group of girlfriends who were all attached. Instead of enjoying the flowing wine, our familiar company and discussing creative passions, they complained about what crime their significant other had or had not committed. I remember the emotion bubbling inside of me, it was the opposite of envy, and poured myself another glass. I knew there was no one at home to bemoan my tipsiness.

My current roommate lives an extraordinary life. She's dwelled in New York City for almost 12 years. She has traveled the entire world extensively and Five-Star. She is extremely successful in her career that she loves and spends most of her winters in Miami with two closets full of designer clothes. Incredibly tight with her family, pilates and yoga extraordinaire, and aware.
But no love. Match.Com. Consistent Dates. Constant Attention. But not a somebody. This is her elusive element. And what she most desires.
Relationships seem to be on peoples minds lately and on the cover of Time Out NY (The Singles Edition). I picked it up off of a desk today. From Cool Singles in the City to where to find your Fetish Fanatic Soul mate, it was all there for the hopeless romantic..
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
After talking with two single New Yorker's today about the absence of happy unions in their social pool, I surmised we are unfulfilled searching. We are unfulfilled found. I know I'm not making history questioning the old adage of the grass is always greener.
But why do we fight so hard to fall into love?
And once we're there why do we fight so hard to make it work?
Were the Fab 4 right.....Is Love all you need? I have my doubts.
As I was walking alone down a dim lit cobblestone street tonight watching the coupled off revelers, I reminded myself that moving to NYC is tweaking my self-sufficiency.
After all, you gotta have a life, to be a good wife....

If it's True Love, does the joy outweigh the grief?

Hold His Banner High

"From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another." John 1:16

If there is anyone out there that has not signed their personal name and private info to some social networking site or group, you are certainly in the minority.
Facebook, MySpace, Linked-In, etc..are now an everyday lifestyle. In fact they are verbs. For example: OMG, He Facebooked Me!
It serves a pleasure purpose in so many facilities whether it be a sneak peek into old lovers lives or an intriguing introduction to new. Even a place to showcase your eclectic music tastes and odd NFL player obsessions.
For me, it has been reconnecting to my past. There are a few women out there I've missed for almost two decades and now Hallelujah, thanks to FB, we are back in the know.
But never have I frequented these time suckers as a means to a job.

New York City is designated for networking.
It is most certainly a city of who you know and who you talk to...
A dear and most clever friend of mine who has been in my life for nearly 11 years just celebrated his birthday and gathered some of his closest. I was honored to be chosen and a representative of another Bible name...amongst Peter, Daniel, Joshua, Aaron, Esther, Mark, David, Gabrielle you get the picture. The restaurant was Freemans, which in my opinion perfected comfort Southern Food. Gabe and I started talking about careers. She's been working in Children's Literature Publishing for years now. I told her about my job leap from Football Players to First Graders and that I was looking to blend my passions...(AKA, knocking down the door at Sesame Street) We exchanged contacts and bid farewell after fond fellowship and bacon wrapped cheese.

Not 24 hours later she had passed on my resume to her colleagues and today, I got an interview and job for an absolute dream position.....GIVING MY OPINION!!!!!!
The mission at hand: Blog about young adults books and their message on timely topics. Not only is it food for thought reading on a regular basis, it's editorial writing. I'm Overjoyed.
I wrote Gabe with immense gratitude and thanked my Lord above for the blessing.

In the words of a brilliant man who's made an art of entertaining children and adults alike. He created an Icon at the lowest point of his life....

"If you can dream it, you can do it."
Walt Disney

What's your Mickey Mouse?

Feed Your Head

"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. Matthew 7:13

My favorite story of all time is The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. Lately I've been playing a conversation between Alice and The Cheshire Cat in my head.

Alice: I was just wondering if you could help me find my way.

Cheshire Cat: Well that depends on where you want to get to.

Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as ...

Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go.

That is where I am.

Leaving Atlanta was enough excitement to sustain my emotional overdrive since I arrived. But now three weeks today I am realizing my focus is blurry. I'm not on a narrow path..

Alice had all of those adventures because she chased one goal down the rabbit hole.

In Manhattan it is "impassible" to take in the constant myriad of stimuli when so much of my mind and a great deal of my heart is still wallowing in my hometown.

I'm losing my mission. In fact, after being in Atlanta trying to make sense out of nonsense, I've also lost my direction.

So down I go in forward momentum...

Curiouser and Curiouser, I'm slowly falling in love with this Wonderland. People seem to experience thriving success here because they are ONLY doing what they really love. And the most desirable aspect is they have identified their true passions to live out. Sure.

Dabbling can be fruitful, but when I find myself up at 2:30 in the morning submitting to every Craigs List solicitation in all the Burroughs, I am walking a broad line.

Eating both sides of the mushroom is possible but is it profitable?

To me it seems it's all about keeping your eye on the narrow prize. With all of these opportunities in such a confined space, knowing what feeds me makes the grocery list a cinch. Getting on the precise path. That is the adventure with a touch of madness.

'I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir,' said Alice, 'because I'm not myself you see.'"

Is your Road the Right One?

Natural Selection

"Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath ; man has no advantage over the animal." Ecclesiastes 3:19

I'm tired. Ten hours at The Westminster Dog Show with nearly 200 breeds at Madison Square Garden and more 98.6 degree bodies than you could shake a stick at can do that to a gal, no telling how the four legged ones feel. Watched, Picked, Groped, Felt, and Judged as the Best of Breed and Best in Show. I will say this, people are CRAZY (emphasize) about their pets and the dog business is Recession Proof...!!! OOOOhh but what fun.

Today is Charles Darwin's birthday. 200th to be exact.
And The Vatican has decided to give the man some credit. Oh Blessed Day....
Turns out creation and evolution can go hand in hand.

The Bible says that the Lord created the Universe. Not how but did.
The word day in the bible does not mean a 24 hour period. The "Day of the Lord" in Genesis represents a seven year time. New Yorkers aren't not into the simple cut and dry. They don't buy it. They want gray areas, ambiguity, literature, philosophy, and a strong argument all rolled up in one. So for the intellectual naysayers that ask me about my God riding on the back of a Brontosaurus: Read on...

"For a thousand years in Thy sight are like yesterday when it passes by, or as a watch in the night." Psalms 90:4

"A thousand years is as one day." 2 Peter 3:8

He has remembered His covenant forever, The word which He commanded to a thousand generations. Psalms 105:8

And this Evangelical does not believe the Earth is 6,000 years young.
Dinosaurs lived and died. Dodo Bird lived and died. Disco lived and well... The Truth reigns forever.

Roses are still red.
Violets are still blue
I'm part chimp
and so are you.

Do you believe only the strong survive?

My Bondage. My Freedom.

"There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off." Proverbs 23:18

Oh man Oh Man. Hope.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12

Another lost job today has drastically affected my family. Of course not any where near to how it has affected theirs. But that was my selfish reaction when I heard their bad news.
What will I do now?
The couple who just signed a year lease to rent our home in Atlanta is backing out because of a recent lay off. SLAP. Looky there, plans change. While my initial response is anger, I know I can't blame them. But talk about losing hope....

A blessing of my new home in Tribeca is I'm a few minutes walk from the rivers edge.
Feeling quite sorry for myself, I strolled down to watch the sunset over America's symbol of hope, trying to grapple with my latest trouble. In doing so, I stumbled upon a self-effacing reality.
A plaque honoring Frederick Douglass hung right over the river stating that where my feet were planted was the exact place in 1938 in which he arrived alone in New York, impersonating a sailor and fleeing a life of bondage and slavery.
Quoted as saying when he arrived, "A new world had opened up to me."
I stood in that historical spot completely chagrined. Up against hardships I will never know and endowed with the gift of voice, this man transformed his life and others. As a fervent abolitionist, he fought for moral and intellectual improvement of his people,wrote and published his own newspaper speaking for the Union's cause and later was an adamant supporter for Reconstruction and Women's Rights. Talk about a renewed hope....

I'm questioning my future here. What is New York's offering? What is my longing unfulfilled? Will my hard work have a means to an end? And will my hope spring eternal?

According to research, Douglass had 3 key elements he lived by.
Believe in yourself.
Take advantage of every opportunity.
Use the power of spoken and written language to effect positive change for yourself and society.
He said, "What is possible for me is possible for you."

Do you have that kind of hope for your life? I do mine!

Best in Show

"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes... For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written. The righteous will live by faith."Romans 1:16-17

Forgive me as I attempt to conceptualize my thoughts in black and white after an absolutely brilliant day like today. I might dance from point to point.

The Apostle Paul says he is not ashamed of the gospel. Gospel meaning Good News. Our news media of modern times. What has already occurred, not advice to take or ponder. It's the Daily Herald. The Daily News.
So I learned at Redeemer Presbyterian Church this evening way up on the WEST Side. These are the verses that changed Martin Luther's life as he meditated on them and finally realized the difference between law and grace. A man who murmured at God and his righteousness. He broke through and transformed his message...How easy. Righteousness is a gift to those who believe. Like a medal, righteousness is put upon you the second you believe but works instantly through you. Thank you Dr. Tim Keller for your message tonight and to the people of New York. I shall return.

Met my mom today as she is visiting for the spectacle called The Westminster Dog Show. Wow, if anyone thought otherwise that Christopher Guest is sheer genius, you have never witnessed the true energy of people coming to NYC for the real Best in Show. Every breed, body, and birthright was represented at the Pennsylvania Hotel today.
I broke off from the excitement to Borders Books before heading to the evening service. Just as I was delving into how to cut your 40 hour workweek into 4 hours, I was approached. Mind you, I am sitting in a corridor at the end of the shelves snuggled up on the floor quietly.
"Excuse me, I know you are busy but do you know about the personification of the female in the bible?"
"Why sure", I said. "Proverbs 31."
"Oh, so you believe in our Mother God?"
Here we go...
The couple proceeded to point out to me every time the word female appeared in the Old Testament and every time the word bride appeared in the New. He would read a passage and ask me to finish it. Did I know that really it's our Mother God? Jesus isn't really the son but daughter...
I explained that I was a Believer in my Savior Lord. He questioned if I was a believer in the bible... and that when Jesus descends from the heavens, he will look like a typical bride in white.
They went on to tell me that in the bible when Jesus talks about Jerusalem, he isn't talking about the one in Palestine. OOOPS, do what? Welcome to Mother Earth...
Verse after Verse in the middle of Borders Books they kept asking me to accept the mother of all creation.
I paraphrase but bear with me. I told him that while God is not defined as a definite gender that I believed in the Son of God. And regardless of their geography faux pas, I heard their message and what was the name of their church, I would like to visit.
He proceeded to slam his bible shut and tell me NO! I was given the chance to believe in the Mother and I didn't...I wasn't welcome.

Here is what the monk, Martin Luther learned. No more law, no more rules. His grace is our salvation and its ours the moment we ask. All of ours. All of us. Ain't no shame in this game.

What other honor could be greater?

Say What?

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you. 1 Thessalonians 4:11

New York City has a pretty specific noise pollution code. The number one quality of life complaint from New Yorkers is too much noise. There are the jackhammers in the street, car alarms blaring, brakes screeching, music rocking, garbage trucks grinding and the subway screaming under our feet. The new law enacts that taxi drivers aren't allowed to use their horns except in a situation of serious danger. Lots of danger on these streets. Friends at home wonder why I don't answer my cell. My answer, I can't hear it ringing..."They", the all knowing say that our lives are endangered so drastically by noise that we are getting sicker, more anxious, and even dying.
I have to wonder with over 1,000 calls coming into the hot line about the level of sound, why does EVERYONE wear headphones while riding the calmest place I've been...the subway. Dead calm I tell you.
So this afternoon, I found refuge from the beautiful cacophony and walked west to the Hudson River. Absolutely gorgeous. There is a running and bike path that runs right along the water. Its accompanied with landscaped green space, wood decking, stunning views of the Statue of Liberty, park benches, and for the most part solitude. I sat down with my hot cup of java and watched the ducks diving underneath the icy surface. And the tide carrying a Styrofoam cup across and into my peripheral. AHHH nature. I walked further north and stopped in to watch a crew of kayaks loading in front of a odd building that resembled a jailhouse guard tower. When I asked a public works worker what it was, he said one of four ventilation structures for the Holland Tunnel, the last one is in Jersey. I peered out across the spans of the river and tried to imagine the noisy bumper to bumper exhaust that existed right below where I was standing. Shhhh my anxiety level is subsiding.

This Saturday eve, I met my friend from Elementary school on East 23rd at an appropriately named, The Blender Theatre and much to my surprise the marquis read this: "School of Rock, Tribute Wars." Inside was enough to make the city that never sleeps and all of the Environment of Council's blood pressure rise.
Pantera and Metallica tribute bands bringing an onslaught of in your face head-banging decibels. Rocking it and Loud..... Nothing like speed death guitar to mellow my mood. Now, if I can just get rid of the incessant ringing in my ears.

"Come crawling faster, Obey your Master..your life burns faster"

Is your life so loud, you've quit listening to His voice?

Painting by Numbers

"Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." Proverbs 31:31

I am sorry that such a gifted athlete was trusting enough to keep company with people that would want to bring him down in such a fashion. An historic eight gold medals! Eight. He did all of it on his sheer stamina, steadfast dedication, years of training, mama's support and pure talent. And we are punishing him for burning a weed. C'mon Kellogs, if he was taking a shot, I can guarantee the sponsors would not have bailed. And that's all I have to say about that.
With regard to scripture. I chose it before I went to work on Kings today...referencing my visual.

Walk to Canal at 4Pm Friday afternoon, take the 6 Train up town, exit a Union Square, a mall underground, transfer to the L, a train that actually travels underneath the East River. Unbelievable. My ears popped. Come out in Brooklyn, 4:40 all all is Quiet. Transfer to the G train, go three stops towards Queens, walk east 9 blocks, Sound stage 10, all the time carrying wardrobe and 15 hours worth of reading material . My cellphone read 5:35.
Sign in, fill out voucher, no dependents, wardrobe, makeup, hair. Prepare to hunker down for another long night. Not 30 minutes after I started talking to Brad ( A huge die hard Giants fan) who moved here in the 70's.( The Harder Carter Years) We wrapped....
Full non-union payday for three hours of work. Reverse Commute.

Twenty minute jaunt to Broadway.Two bottles, of wine, three hours of guilty pleasure TV, two good friends, one burger.
1: 15....Home. Not making history but Not bad for a day's work...

Now tell me truthfully, shouldn't his works be revered?

Connected to the Vine

"Its leaves were beautiful, its fruit abundant, and on it was food for all. Under it the beasts of the field found shelter, and the birds of the air lived in its branches; from it every creature was fed." Daniel 4:12

Here's my best attempt at comparing horticulture and fairy tales.
Much like our nation's economy in the mid 90's...Peaches and Goldilocks preference is not too hot, not too cold, but just right. Dormant Peach Trees need a required amount of "chill hours", where the temperature drops below 45 F in order to bloom in the spring and later produce luscious big fruit...The problem with cold weather and peaches is this...If it gets too cold "bud hardiness" occurs. In a freeze, the buds snap off, no fruit can that strong leafy tree provide. Today in 16 degree weather plus windchill, I can empathize.

For over two weeks now, I have been an alien resident in this beautiful city. I have pulled on my long underwear and up my boots, I have braved the weather and journeyed east and west. I have called, faxed, emailed, posted, submitted, and solicited. I've been a yes girl. Venturing out and open and willing to most opportunities. In the most dignified of ways. Last night I walked six blocks to Lower East side to listen to comediennes knock conservative Christians. Not very original....
Today as the wind speed reached 14 mph bringing it with it a maple syrup smell from Jersey (Ask Bloomberg), this peach chose to relish in her chill hours, not too cold, not too hot but next to the spitting furnace in my sweatpants refusing to take on the elements. I hear the prospective buds snapping now...
A friend who owns his own company, consulting and providing IT services is experiencing an influx of clients and his business is flourishing. Hallelujah! There's hope. But as he was addressing a customer on the phone about how $100 is your average night out in Manhattan, I admit... I started to worry and when I worry, I pray.
This is Freedom from Fear. The promise I got, as long as I remain in Him, He will remain in me.

My husband called me today with blessed news. He rented our house in Atlanta. Somebody else is going to pay our mortgage and a burden is lifted. It's official I'm definitely staying put.
When we hung up, my phone rang again...this time a job, working on a new show called Kings, another modern day David vs. Goliath struggle in a metropolis. Bring it on.

Looks like I'm bearing fruit. As far as the cold snap, I'm one of the hardy varietals.

Fear. Does it motivate or debilitate?

2 + 2 = 4 Always Has

"Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: that wisdom preserves the life of its possessor." Ecclesiastes 7:12

Did you know there are over 2300 verses in the bible referencing money? This is a close second to LOVE. The one most are familiar but confuse often is from 1 Timothy; For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Not money but the adoration of money. So manage it, make it, spend it, consider it vital but don't bow down to it.
The Sultan of Swat, Babe Ruth had over 2200 RBI's in his career. The New York Yankees purchased the contract of Babe Ruth from the Boston Red Sox. And in 1923 he hit a home run opening day at Yankee Stadium and history was written.

One of the events I was looking most forward to when I came to New York was witnessing the implosion of the house that Babe built. To my dismay, there will be no dynamite, they're dismantling it piece by piece. Cue Joe Torre to speed up the process...
But seriously, in this economy driven city where the money moans and woes are just as loud and frequent as the honking of car horns...what do New Yorkers think of the Yankees?
$500 million to three players? To make you more money? Recession? What Recession?
Now with the brand new stadium scheduled to debut this spring...The Yankees are asking the NY taxpayers to foot the bill for its luxurious completion.
A Bronx resident told me today she wishes the Yankees would just relocate...

Americans are losing their jobs at a rapid pace. Some are wondering how to meet their basic needs and America's team is spending half a billion dollars for boys to connect a bat to a ball.
Call me crazy but something doesn't add up?
If wisdom preserves the life to those who posses it. And its clear what master the men in the pinstripes are serving. May their season reap what they sow.
Play ball....

What provides you shelter?

Miss American Pie

"If it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully." Romans 12:8

The Left Frets as Obama courts the Right. Are you kidding?
Is it a make or break first week for our new President? Are these really our headlines America?
Your savior is letting you down because he's seeking the support of GOP officials. I thought you wanted us to come together man.... in peace and harmony. One Nation.
If you consciously threw your vote at yes we can and you believe him when he says Yes he will, then silence yourself and let the man do his job that you so earnestly gave him.

Meanwhile on the N, R, Q line, the LEFT track seemed to be favored, while I stood and waited for an Uptown express on the RIGHT. MMMMmm. Is this not a bi-partisan metro? Or is it a blue state thing?

Here is a short list that I found far more compelling today then Schwarzenegger signing his John Hancock in support of a Stimulus Package.
1. Snow-being from the South land, this is a phenomenon rarely experienced. The flakes have been falling since dawn's early light and have quickly dusted all of the Birch and Siberian Elms that line Union Square Park. A breathtaking sight and even better while you're walking down wind. It is fore casted to blanket the city through the night.
2.Undercover NYPD-they may look unsuspecting, but today I witnessed two different stealth black sedans sound their sirens to beckon off guard pedestrians to their open windows. And one young urban-esque man obviously on the street beat pull is badge from his North Face jacket to two swallowing vendors. Exciting stuff y'all.
3. Homeless/Street People- While everyone was bustling east on 17th Avenue, I stood dormant in amazement at a 6 ft 6 or more black male in his glory, air dribble, pass, and shoot what looked to be the winning point in the Knicks Championship Basketball Game, all the while running down the bike line on Fifth Avenue in soaking wet Chuck Taylors.
It may have been my best belly laugh of the week.
And while the experienced (jaded) may say that I will grow weary of these frequent goings-on, I reply with a resounding... Not any more weary than hearing the naysayers and fear mongers talk about the state of our economy.
I choose not to dance the disco freak out but to relish in the simple things.
Like hot apple pie on a cold day.

How is your fear serving you?

**Headline worth mentioning.... Fifty years ago today, The Day the Music Died.

In Duration

"May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed." Psalm 20:4

Gone is the idea of becoming a foot model, this pavement promenade is having disastrous effects on my moneymakers. Plan B.

I have to wonder about the state of mind John Lennon was in when he wrote to his son Sean, "Life is what happens to you, while you're busy making other plans." Had his plans come to fruition? Based on his life prior to 1975, one would argue affirmatively.
But it begs the question, are we missing out on the purpose because we're too caught up in our pursuits?
Walking through an alive and amazing area of New York... East Village, I started to hone in on the conversations around me. Eavesdrop. This couple was talking about the next time they order delivery, NYU students were discussing the intellectual professors of the classes they plan to take, a group was searching upcoming concert dates on their iphones, one poor girl was going hoarse screaming expletives at her boyfriend about their non-existent future.
Life is going on all around us. The present. But in it, we talk about what tomorrow will bring. Our schemes and hopes for our eventual life spill into our daily encounters at the risk of leaving us blind to today.
I was attempting to explain this theory to someone at last night's Superbowl party when he excused himself out the door for a quick errand. Ooopsies.
When he came back, he told the room he just ran into the director Joel Schumacher standing in line. For those of you that don't know who this is...He brought the fears of Galaxy Glue to the silver screen, oh yeah and hits like Lost Boys and St. Elmo's Fire. Schumacher had remembered him and wanted to screen him for a project in LA.
How do you like that?
Turns out.... Life is what happens to you when you're busy out on a beer run. At least in NYC.

Are you missing the here and now because you're already around the corner?

Flat On My Face

"He must become greater. I must become less." John 3:30

Lord, it's all about You. For Your glory and your fame. It's not about me. As if You should do things my way. You alone are God And I surrender to your ways...

This morning I went to a church in the West Village called Sacred Center. It was founded on September 9, 2001 and they recently moved into the basement of a public school. They proclaim to be a non-religious church accepting of everyone.... So we all walked through the open door.
A funky bass line wafted up from downstairs and we followed the groove down to service. The place was a'jumpin. All ages, race, creed, and lifestyle were clapping and dancing to the beat, raising their hands singing Rise Up. Rise Up. Rise Up and walk with God. Imagine the freaky jams of George Clinton, you with me? The second song was a theatrical solo performance with a broadway flavor, entitled I can do ALL things through God, okay NOW I was with them.... As the music was ending, my cheeks were sore from the laughter and booty shakin' celebration...I'm digging it.
One of the ministers took it to the stage and partially quoted Matthew 6:33 and in the same breath said Heaven is just a state of consciousness. Whoa! Hold on...Record Scratch. You lost me...
As a believer. Heaven is Eternal Life. And I don't plan on spending an eternity inside my head. I plan to spend it on my knees.
We prayed for "space" in our heart for our beloved to come. I prayed, Lord, take ALL of me.
The Reverend asked everyone to stand and chant.." I am open to receive all of life's riches." Repeat 10x...And asked all of us if we felt the vibe. Because that vibe is our prayers being answered and all prayers are answered through us; We are the door.
Okay then, what about Calvary? And Blood shed?
She went on to say we have to continue to open the door to all of the blessings that are in store for us and scream profanity, punch a boxing bag, hit a pillow with a tennis racket, or twist a towel to spill out all of our anger and rage that is resistant to opening the door.
Crickets...At this point, I am asking the Holy Spirit to speak. I waited for her to say God's name but she kept talking about how WE are the answer to our prayers. We have to become bigger. We open the door to our destiny. Oh Lord, humble me.
I walked out with a heavy heart. I believe in acceptance I believe in compassion. I believe in community. But I don't believe we can do it alone. I don't believe I'm in control.
I believe He is the Truth, The Way, and The Life. And Life is hard. I need Him by my side.

Are you looking inward or upward?