Saved the Best for Last

"If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" Matthew 6:30

It is 5 AM. I'm dripping wet from scrubbing the can of hairspray out of my bobby-pinned hair, slipping into my fleece pjs (it's cold again), and chewing on half an Ambien....here come the trails. We just wrapped day one of the Ugly Betty finale and have been graced with a few hours of day time slumber before we return to the madness...and full makeup. Trust me, even if you blink, it would be impossible to miss me in this one.

Let's just say Wardrobe had a field day with me...

Minding my own business in a simple black slip dress, the designers had another visual in mind and pulled me back into their decadent closet of designer gowns (XXS) ouch and Accessory Heaven.

Pic to follow.

She made the history books twice. One for being the first black woman to be chosen as Miss America and two for losing her crown over racy Penthouse photos, no matter the glory or the gory...that Vanessa Williams is breathtakingly timeless. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Of course they couldn't avoid me...

Vanessa, America, and Judith, (Angela from Who's the Boss) all commented on my outlandish attire. The clincher was getting a  nod by my 2nd favorite Calvin Klein underwear model Antonio Sabato, jr. Still shy of Marky Mark. Thirteen hours of playing dress up in the Waldorf Astoria can be fun!

Standing face to face

Isn't this word a crazy place...zzzzz.

 

Casually Unconcerned

" I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

I'm one day behind him. He's spending his 100th in the Spotlight. I'm spending my 99th in bed.

 I wonder if he begrudgingly resents the fact his publicity is playing 2nd fiddle to the Pig Flu.  I sure am not thrilled at the over zealous interruptions of my mindless TV (sick) day to give me the play by play of outbreaks in Manhattan.

They're kidding right? More strategies to prey on the fears of man. And a interactive national report card for the president. Hey CNN, I got your grades. And F and a U.

Fear is a primitive emotion. I get that. But fear of fear for the most part is self imposed. There is the biological and there is the emotional. One is a automatic response that is crucial to survival and the other is an exaggerated perceived dread, worry, what have you of the what if's and the could be's. Creating Fear? Why have a crippling response to matters that are out of your hands?

Ways to combat:

Alarm. Angst. Worry. Concern. Distress. Panic. Fear.

The following are tried and true....

I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears. Psalms 34:4

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Psalms 46:1-2

Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.Proverbs 18:10

 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:2

 He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber.Psalm 121:3 

The Lord will keep you from all harm--he will watch over your life. Psalm 121:7 

 The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and for evermore.Psalm 121:8

Are you standing firm or falling prey?

 

Ice Cold Baby

 "A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?" Ecclesiastes 2:24-25

Can I just say holy steaming sunburn...took a 40 minute train at 6:45 this morning to Coney Island. Home of the infamous Wonder Wheel, fried clams, burlesque theater, and birthplace of the original Nathan's Frankfurters. There could not have been a better place to spend a 90 degree day in April then on the boardwalk with carnies and a stiff sea breeze in the air.

A stop of for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid, it's a huge helping of Nostalgic America and my privilege to have experienced it. Coaster aficionados, what are you waiting for?

I couldn't be on my boys heels all day long without giving a shout out to him and my freshman year at Druid Hills, whoo whoo. Druid Hills, whoo whoo.  I told Ice most of my 15 year old memories involved OG tracks. He liked that.

Paid for a mean game of skeeball, tilt a whirl extravaganza, toes in the sand, fire breathing stilt walkers, and getting to tell ICE-T I was an early hip-hop girl....

Work is fine . Thanks for asking.

"You can try but you'll never understand this. Try and Try but you'll never understand this.

The lifestyles of the rich and infamous." Ice T

How was your day dear?

Us and Them

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

Even fat becomes fiction without adequate ways of seeing "the facts." We do not need theories so much as the experience that is the source of the theory. We can see other people's behavior, but not their experience. The other person's behavior is an experience of mine. I see you. And you see me. I experience you and you experience me. I see your behavior. You see mine, BUT I do not, never have and never will see  your experience of me. I cannot experience you experience. +++

Multiple Choice:

Was this observation:

A) An excerpt from a free paperback I got off a stoop in Brooklyn.

B) The likes of a monologue I gave to a basement full of other 18 year olds on a blotter trip.

C) A looking glass description of my perception of the afternoon. 

If you answered A, B, or C. You would be correct

"Cause all the freaky people make the beauty in the world." M. Franti

God you are so good. This city is so electric. The Hustle. The name of the game. It is so intense to be around so many people who are striving for their dream.

 Making it happen and not leaving room for mediocrity.

I have yet to take a red bus top tour or a central park carriage ride, but I am learning this city through auditions, TV work, interviews, meetings, photo shoots, new jobs and resume drops. Hampton's luncher in Northport, Coney Island Tourist, a Southern Evangelist and now officially the new shop girl at Barney's NY.

I can't decipher between fact or fiction.

Oh Today's photo shoot- One word, hilarious!

2 Looks. Lifestyle Casual and Law and Order serious, made up in Reef flip-flops on the rusty steps of a fire escape overlooking a sun drenched courtyard sanwiched in between four war torn brick walls on 8th avenue. My dual personalities came out with every blink of the shutter. A young doll of a photographer from Rhode Island, a sassy makeup artist from Tampa, and a hungry peach shared a one hit bat and a sun drenched studio space for a couple of hours...all in pursuit of our own personal encounter.

I tell you this does not happen everywhere.

The characters, walks of life, the moments, the experience, the mayhem, the constant hum is enchanting. You gotta want to be here to make it work here.  That is no lie.

Coming down from another balmy day, I found some grass in blooming Central Park . As the breeze blew the fresh green trees, it carried the accordion sound up to where I was sitting, gave cadence to the lush activity passing by, and reminded me to keep my eyes fixed and trust in his plan for me. Because it's all happening."

++The Politics of Experience R. D. Laing

If you modify your behavior,  do you comprise your experience?

Pep Rally Root

"Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you." Deuteronomy 31:6

"You gotta Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative. 

Latch on to the affirmative. No don't mess with Mister in Between." 

Bing Crosby

Or as my new friend Christian would say..."Uh. Choose Joy. Choose Joy."

That is exactly the message that Evangelical Houston pastor Joel Osteen brought to tens of thousands of Christ believers from 2nd base of Yankee Stadium last night. A packed express train to 161st street was just the foreplay to the giddiness that would unfold on the breezy 80 degree night under the lights in celebration of our Risen King.

Osteen ministers to a rather large (40 thousand) congregation at Lakewood Church in Texas with millions of followers tuning in to his televised sermon which reaches 95% of US households.

Again, there was no lacking in the New York City body of Christians lifting their hearts and hands and turning their eyes up to the saving grace and endless mercy of the Lord.

Oh...

He brought the corny. His voice was country. But his charisma, undeniable.

Preaching prosperity and favor. The resounding theme of the night. HOPE.

And why are we all enduring and trekking through this intense adversity?  It is leading each and every one of us equipped and loaded children of God to our ultimate and divine destiny. He's got plans. And we got to follow through y'all. Better days are coming right along.

The tide of the battle can turn....let's roll.

Here is the premise. If you opened your eyes today. That was the Lord handing you another chance to be victorious or another mountain to climb and any day that you spend discouraged is that gift wasted. You can listen to the fear mongers, you can be talked into the doom and gloom or you can choose to experience a blessed and prosperous day stretched to the brink of unimaginable riches. It's a simple choice really. You are in the palm of his hand and when your attitude of encouragement and inspiration is evident, that's when God is going to show up.

Osteen told us last night if we make a move. God will meet us.

When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, he told the men to move the stone.

Why? He could have moved it himself, but he asked his believers to act on faith.

If we do the natural, he'll do the supernatural.

If we do the ordinary, He will do the extraordinary. 

Catching my face on the hi def  jumbo tron in center field with hands clapping and a smile from ear to ear, I thought this is the only time I'll be rooting for the home team.

Go Jesus! 

If faith is about stretching.

Will you go above and beyond your limits?

Blissful Day, Hopeful Night

"By all this we are encouraged." 2 Corinthians 7:13

Mega Morning

Mega Train

Mega Park Slope

Mega Green Bud

Mega Farmers Market

Mega Reunion

Mega Corona

Mega Heat

Mega Bronx 

Mega Church...Mega Hope

Joel Osteen in NYC. 

Glorifying the Mega name of Jesus.

Probably the only time I will walk over Yankee Stadium's threshold for a cool ten spot, let alone sit behind home plate.  Hands raised praising the Lord on the JUMBOTRON.

Mega Blessings.

How great is our God. Sing with me. How great is our God. He's the name about all names. He is worthy of my praise. My heart will sing how great is our God.

Are you doing all that you can, so that HE will do all that you can't?

Pillow Talk

"Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else." Galatians 6:4

Are you kidding me? Dirty practices. Nasty behavior that the Bush Administration adopted.  Massive investigation and prosecution of individuals who protect us from people whose heart's desire is to harm us. What the hell is it that you want us to do to terrorists who bring us down. 

Talk to them. Shake their hands. Bow to them?

Why should we condemn the very people that are covering our safety.

America is not a Christian nation?

America is not a nation that doesn't gravely punish our wrongdoers.

Check yourself. We didn't get to be the greatest nation on Earth for being otherwise.

Isn't there something else we could throw our attention and energy towards. Oh I don't know, like moving forward? Ceasing the blame game? 

Maybe flicking on the news this morning wasn't the best wake up call for a sleep deprived, opinionated individual gal like myself. 

Alrighty then. Forward Progression.

Red eyed, I read my emails. Turns out I was just offered an exciting new job to write for Pumpsmag.com. They are "blowing the lid" off the fascinating world of high end Gentleman's Clubs. And not the low brow Rockin in Atlanta at Tattletales motley kind. More so the high rollin Macanudo Club where the girls are hot and refined. As a staff writer traveling between NY and Vegas, I am privy to that under world and ALL the luxuries that come with the territory. Fun and Finance. Do you know what this means? "No more floozies, only high class ho's. I'm going platinum." Kid Rock 

Spring has sprung and the juices ARE flowing...

MMmm. I want to write. Maybe I have to sleep on the offer.

In pursuing a dream..Does the end justify the means?

Ain't Complaining

"Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come?" Lamentations 3:38

Sixteen Hours standing in frigid temps (it's late April) in City Hall Park from dawn to dusk put the U-G-L-Y in Ugly Betty.

Three meals square meals, an overtime paycheck, and enough chocolate to last me the week shows her inner glamour.

Memo to myself: Bring a pad and paper and scribble down all of the insane and eccentric conversations you overhear while on set...Human Behavior is priceless content

Bus boy, bartender, ladies of the night 
Grease monkey, ex-junky, winner of the fight 
Walking on the streets its really all the same 
selling souls, rock n' roll, any other day
Workin for a livin. Workin for a livin.

Taken what they're given cause I'm workin for a livin. Huey

Good. Bad. You take them both. What do you have?

Put Your Hands Up

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18

All the single ladies. All the single ladies. This post's for you.

I am a self proclaimed Boy Crazy Flirt. Have been my whole life. For my 20's decade I use to repeat a mantra in my head, "I'm single until I'm married. And I don't plan on changing." 

You couldn't convince me of the institution let alone tell me the marriage bug would infect me so. Alas youth! 

Shockingly, I fell hopelessly in love six years ago and he, well he put a ring on it. 

Brawn and Brains!

When I first visited my new best friend and husband's home town, I quickly caught whiff of where all the other hot men have been living and breathing all this time....Massachusetts!  Okay, there might me a simple sexiness about a southern reared boy or a hearty wholesomeness to the corn fed mid-Western. I'll even give creed to the vague aloofness of a California dude. But in the northeast they build em tough, rough, long, strong, and down to get the friction on. I should know. I'm blessed with one.

Today, I woke at 5 AM to catch a bus to Long Island.  The Royal Pains is a new show on USA network set in the Hampton's and I dressed the part. 

The charming waterfront village of Northport located on the north shore (hear the accent) of Long Island took me by such pleasant surprise.   Traveling by historic Victorian homes with brilliant wisteria thriving in the yards, you could smell the sea air as we approached their famous Main Street, where the road meets the water and provides a magnificent view of the harbor. 

This is where we ladies who lunch all strutted our sundresses and espadrilles..up and down the drag way in 45 degree rainy weather. Yeah, I could go on about the quaint cafes, the designer boutiques, and the organic farmers market. But here's the scenery I took in. 

The locals.... More specifically the local men.  They were everywhere. The bountiful beautiful. The ample athletic. The robust and rugged. A decent amount of distinguished.

AND THEY WERE ALL DRIVING TRUCKS! 

Back on the subway in the Manhattan after seven hours of standing on a corner watching all the boys go by...I eavesdropped on a rather enlightening and comforting conversation. Two grown men. And when I say men. I mean men. Not metrosexuals that Manhattan seems to be full to their polished brim with, which is not sexy. Your skin should not be smoother nor your shoulders as small. But two real men discussing one of the guys current women in his life. How he really enjoyed one's company, so easy and real. And how he had so much fun with the other and her zest for life. The other older gentleman kept asking about the girl's character and the younger of the two continued to spill his evident emotions and real concerns about finding the right one and making the choice. They both said how they didn't want to be alone and how important a family would be. How a good woman who makes you feel like being a better man is the most important attribute. This went on and on for six stops. At this point, I wasn't even feigning like I wasn't listening. I was staring with a shit eating grin on my face.  

There is hope ladies. They are out there and They Do think about those things.

 If you can't find em where you are, there's always Northport.

Can't live with them?

or

Can't live without them?

 Please say a prayer for mine tonight. In the middle of this post, he was in a car accident. He is thankfully fine. The car is not...

Isn't She...?

"But you remain the same, and your years will never end." Psalm 102:27

Three months to the date...and counting. 

Oh how things have changed.

"Besides making money, you're going to have a ton of fun." 

I received the standard pitch...twice from a heavy breathing fast talking agent who insisted we talk again after my head shot session while he skims off the top of my meager acting wages. "They are the Gateway and there is NO way casting agents will know you exist without them". Cause. ..up until now I've been using a wedding photo (Thanks Steffi) to get all my gigs...Today, two checks, Tomorrow, The Royal Pains and Thursday, Ugly Betty.  You know head shots cost upwards of one thousand dollars for a glossy made up 8x10. 

For now, I'm keeping that ten percent close... hefty.

Today I visited a remarkable institution. It's origins date back to the late 19th century. After years of forethought, fierce competition, site chosen, architects selected, and two years dismantling, the cornerstone of the largest marble structure in the United States was laid in 1902.  The Monumental New York Public Library is a sight to be seen. 

A million books and nine million dollars later, the doors opened to the public in 1911.

What happened next was what we call viral. Instantaneously, it become the intellectual center of Manhattan and the lifeline for immigrants coming to America to relish in their history and soak up their new....Fifteen million visitors visit  annually. It is regarded as the one of the greatest libraries in the world.  Today, was my maiden voyage. 

The gorgeous lawn in the Bryant Park approach is exquisite enough, and the facade of the library takes your breath away. Climbing the palatial staircase, I went straight to the 3rd floor into the crowning spectacular glory of the Rose Main Reading Room which is nearly two city blocks in length.  My plan: finish cover letter, submit article to new publication Mapcidy, post my 92nd blog, and other due diligence.

As if the opulent chandeliers, immense windows, rows of resources, and the detailed murals on the 60 foot high ceilings weren't enough to distract me. There in the historical iconic 100 year+ landmark, I had a circa 1986 John Hughes delivered Pretty in Pink moment. Uh Huh, Blane found me on Ichat... apparently I am on his BONJOUR list. (don't ask PC users, be very afraid conspiracy theorists) 

Yep, there was his picture chatting with my picture on my computer screen (80's terminal) through a wireless signal. 

I raised my head to see who was watching but the four hundred heads surrounding me were buried in their own engrossment. Strangely enveloped in the nostalgia of bound books and immersed in the progressiveness of technology, Duckie didn't get jealous nor did awkward teenage love blossom.

But, hopefully, I gained a new reader. 

she loves to be one of the girls
she lives in the place in the side of our lives
where nothing is ever put straight
she turns her self round and
she smiles and she says 
this is it,that's the end of the joke...Psychedelic Furs

Isn't time bizarro?

My Recession Response

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:27

It's 4:20 on 4:20. Cannabis Culture.

I wrote for the Examiner New York today. They requested an article about how my topic of interest is being affected by the economy in a special project appropriately deemed, The Great Recession. I am posting it below:

"Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.." C.S. Lewis

I am not going to blow religious smoke and behave as though Christians are not struggling during this unfortunate economic downturn. 

Just because He is our Savior certainly does not exempt us from budget cutbacks, lost jobs, home foreclosures, or spending restraint.

In fact, today I thoroughly enjoyed my fourth meal from my one Rotisserie Chicken.

But there is no grand strategy as to how Christians are weathering through the storm of this recession. 

We're remaining steadfast in our walk with Jesus Christ.

We are putting one foot in front of the other, taking it one day at a time, and always looking upward. We're placing our faith in His mercy and promise; Casting our worries on Our Creator who is the only one who can bring Liberating Change that we all so desire. 

He chose us in him before the creation of the world. He promises us that there will be no desire laid on our heart that he will not make provisions.

He is our Hope. Our Healer. Our Hero.

God has a great plan for this world. And He will save the day.

The Bible has over 2300 scripture verses that refer to finances, materialism, possessions, and riches.

Believe me, He is the Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End. He's thought this whole economic issue through and He redefines Wealth.

"And my God will meet all of your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

What more can we ask? This doesn't mean rest on your laurels eating generic Cheetos, quit tweaking your extensive resume, or trim the fat on your monthly luxury expenses. 

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

In the book of Ephesians the Apostle Paul relays a sweeping explanation and promise of Jesus Christ's saving grace...

"God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure.  And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth." Ephesians 1:9-10

In that uniting scripture, the Lord guarantees restoration. That all of us: This broken, dislocated, lost, fallen, struggling body will be summed up and reconciled together under the rule, reign, and headship of the Living God.

In visiting churches and  in my fellowship with the Evangelical Christian body in New York City this year, it is abundantly clear, church attendance is on the rise. People want answers in this confusion. Security in these uncertain times. And Hope in the darkness. But an increase in giving is abundant as well. People are trusting in God and their purpose in him. He is the Light.

So as far as the storm goes...we're riding it out until.

"He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. "Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him." Luke 8:25

Be frugal. Be faithful. He will provide.

   

Do you think he will?

Fire. Rain. Sunshine. Pain.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12

The difference a day makes. Peaks and Valleys. 

And I don't take a pill to dull the edge.

Just gotta have faith.

Did anyone see the Johnson and Bird interview this morning? 32 and 33. I don't know if it was the Kanye West rhythm or the four mile run adrenaline but watching the montage of Lebron, Larry, Magic, Jordan, Chris Paul, Garnett and Kobe (okay not Kobe) reignited the embers of my fading interest in the NBA....I felt myself sweating and running side by side on the Celt's fast break. 

Praying for a stellar return to Sports Journalism.

Fact: New York is a walking city. I average two miles a day.

A four wheeling fling in grade school landed me on my back and an ATV crushing my right foot.  A Joe Theismanesque compound leg fracture on a trampoline in my teens resulted in a titanium alloy rod from my knee to ankle. An incompetent Adulterer Emory orthopedic surgeon put my leg on wrong, resulting in a manual break and three new pins. A late night Devil went down to Georgia car crash was the final impact of a bent titanium rod and a metal plate around my tibia and fibula bone in my shin. A rather unexpected and shocking sting ray stab in the bottom of that same foot in the murky waters of Dominical, CR last year. Countless road races later and I wonder why my right leg is giving me problems in my 30's.

Fact: When I drink wine daily, my tummy loses it's flatness.

Some sacrifices just have to be made.

In the words of Mary J. 

Life can  be only what you make it. When you're feeling down, you should never fake it. Say what's on your mind and you'll find in time that all negative energy. It would all cease. Take your time, baby don't you rush a thing. Don't you know. I know we are all struggling. I know it is hard but we will get by and if you don't believe in me, just believe in HE. If you looked in my life and see what I've seen.

What makes your obstacles more palatable?

Natural High

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Between the crotch to shoulder marijuana smoke filled pulsating club until 4 AM to a Colombian coffee and Advil kickstart for an exhilarating energy enhanced walk through Prospect Park into the cherry blossom frenzy of Brooklyn's Botanical Gardens, I would venture to say I am having some authentic New York moments. 

Spending time with people that live in the present is the most uplifting feeling that literally shaves years off of my forlorn forehead and relinquishes angst about tomorrow.

This marvelous Life is meant to be lived! Not just endured.

Met my dancing partner from Prague at midnight on a street corner and made the short strut to an underground lair called Southland, apropos.  After a size up from the Lacoste elbow patch clad doorman and the velvet robe unhinge..we made our descent into debauchery. Head to Head in exclusivity and kicked out of a leather booth made for a paying party. Little did they know, we had our own "table service" rocking...a flask of vodka, chest pumping beats and a new hazy memory with an old friend in a great city.

Fast forward..face plant pillow. 9AM..Is that really my cell phone?

Cold face wash, stumble stumble,chocolate croissant and 20 minutes later I'm train bound with G across the Brooklyn Bridge and Manhattan in the rear view.

Glory and Praise to my Lord for the day that lay ahead.

Weeping cherry's, Emperor Tulips, banging budding magnolias, bonsai ridden coy ponds, sweet jasmine fragrance and a people gazing view of humanity extravaganza! 

Lounging on our backs barefoot in thick fescue. I relaxed....

Climbing Park Slope hills, people were out by the droves potting Hyacinth's and clipping forsythia. We made our way through street musicians  and stoop sales to the Brooklyn Farmers Market for fresh apple cider and a game changing play at the plate with 5 year old little Leaguers. 

OH and the skin.... The bold unveiling of flesh that has been cooped away and under wraps for months showed its radiant glory baring proof that ALL species mate in the spring.

Two IPA's , a sun kissed forehead, welfare, April Showers, Somalian Pirates, Internet porn, and witch hunts thoroughly discussed (at low volume) three new friends parted ways on a glorious God filed day that can never be duplicated.  My Joy. My Delight.

Brooklyn is chill yo.

As long as the invitations come, I'll continue to say yes.

"It's never too late to be what you might have been." George Elliot

What's stopping you?

Street Savvy

"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed” Psalm 139:16

New York City is the largest media market in North America.  Globally known and influential it is the mecca for major television networks, important newspapers, publishing houses, feature films, the biggest advertising firms and music and recording companies. It is the HUB for major conglomerates such as VIACOM and Time Warner. Names like New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Radio City, Broadway, Fox News, NBC Universal, Saturday Night Live, Howard Stern, Simon and Schuster, HBO, Paramount, to name a few all make their home in Manhattan. 

This city serves as the backdrop to the most media production worldwide....that's a wealth of employed.

This morale boosting Friday AM, after four hours of fitful sleep and a stellar dinner party, I clamored from the bed to the shower to the express subway for an audition in Times Square. Since spending up close and personal time with strangers on set, I have met it my mission to pick brains and squeeze info...this contact came from a well practiced Thespian on the set of Law and Order.

Overlooking 43rd and Broadway,in front of a rather young actor's agent, I gave a weeping and desperate monologue to my fictional husband about opinionated matriarchs. Art imitating Life. Uh-huh. I nailed it. 

Callbacks tomorrow...

Taking in the glow of the sun and neon lights; Feeling rather adept, I journeyed to the center of it all. The Time Life Building and 75 Rockefeller.  Or street vendor heaven. Carrying my resumes and head shots (my schoolteacher photo), checking my bag through X-Ray security, entering revolving glass doors, riding elevators 30 floors, and sweet talkin attendants I managed a Human Resources interview with Sports New York TV, chased a Sports Illustrated Editor down 51st street, gave my pitch and snagged a card, contacted Real Simple Magazine staffing to set up an appointment for a contributing writer position, went to American Journalist's headquarters and applied for free Dave Letterman tickets...combing the street blocks in high heels ta boot

Came home to long awaited emails, a renewed vigor and an invitation for late night swanky dancing. 

A time ago, when asked about "my plans" to procreate, I told my father..I was still nurturing my short list and New York City was at the top.

He looked me in the eye and said.."some dreams are just too hard."

He's right. This is hard. Hopeless at times. Lonely Often. 

But OH SO WORTH IT.

Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay
I know what nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know its everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win
Half my life is in books written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages.

You know its true
All the things come back to you. Aerosmith

Dream on?

Humor. Not Hostility.

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

Fear is crippling. Fear manifests into anger. Fear closes doors.

 
It's not what you know, but who you know.Ahh yes, the power of who.This is true in the secular and non-secular world. Salvation is for sure about knowing HIM. Success...that's a little more complicated.

I am starting to reevaluate my will's and wont's. Today I was describing my ample Epicurean experience in  dealing with olives, imported cheeses, and exotic desserts today while outlining my ideal dinner party menu I would serve to my closest of wealthy friends. Lost in the cremini mushroom gravy and truffle cheese, I forgot where I was.  All this for an application for a Team Member position at Whole Foods Market. Which by the way is one of the least expensive places to purchase groceries in Manhattan. And my latest pursuit in making my rent.

Now Quit It. My eyes are still bright and my focus is still narrow. Editorial Writing, Conservative Commentary, Stephen Colbert meets the New York Post, Sesame Street Guest Appearance, Starring role in my own TV series, Freedom of Peach column in the New York Times..you know...The Attainable. I'm just dwelling in the ever realistic grind of how to support the habit that has become "Living in Manhattan."

Leaning over the front desk of my apartment building sulking on about no where to go, no where to be, my friend on the 21st floor came out of the elevator and gave me a huge hug followed by the formal exchange.

Off to work. 

Must be nice.

Must be nice to stay in Uggs and sweatpants all day...Touche.

Yes, I admit the honeymoon is fading. But New York City is the land of dreamers. And no one is taking no for an answer. 
This admirable spirit is what keeps me in bed and gets me out of bed at the same time. Land of Extremes. Highs and Lows. Possible and Inconceivable.

-Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.- Baz Lurhman

If you define yourself by what you do, can't you judge yourself on what you don't?

Desperate Measures

"Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor." Romans 13:7

How the hell did I miss the greatest PR opportunity? A Georgia Boy in City Hall Park NYC. Newt Gingrich should have been donning a FREEDOM OF PEACH T-Shirt.  Why weren't the rest of you at the Manhattan Tea Party?  Could it be you got stuck in all the traffic surrounding the new appointment of the Archbishop Dolan at St. Patrick's Cathedral? 

I saw a couple Ron Paul supporters disgruntled by all the backward collars and robes blocking the subway stairs...

At any rate (no pun intended) Hundreds of non-partisan New Yorkers and me turned out for the NYC T-Party.

On this day in history...The RMS Titanic Sunk. And Abraham Lincoln died. 

The Filing Deadline from the Revenue Act was declared April 15th in 1955. 

But since you can't bleed a turnip...

Today's tax day:

Here are my current highlighted options on Craigslist.

Donate my eggs to infertile couples for $10,000

Become a Bikini-Clad Maid (won't make drinks) for $200 p/d

Participate in  a Clinical Study for Depression $500 per session + free MRI

Prepare breakfast for family every week morning $75 a day

NO matter which job I take. YOU are not entitled to what I earn. THE IRS (the despicable institution that it is) certainly does not. Every single person reading this at the moment needs to research Fair Tax.  And ask yourself do you really want your government to determine where your hard earned money goes...?  Will you really vote for big government, big spending?

Now, I don't want to turn this blog into a recap of the news and my take on it. But seriously, in these strained times when the economy is taking a beating and the fear tactics are giving it a good fat shove into the gutter.

How far would you go to make ends meet?

My job search aside. I've recently witnessed a close up glimpse of how hard up landlords are in Manhattan to rent their space. Responding to the market, rent is down 10-15% and they're handing over 2-3 months free incentive!  Even the greatest skeptic on board can't deny "One bedroom in West Village $2000" spells bona fide recession...

ME? Renting my house. Selling my car. Rationing my rotisserie chicken and ironing out the bathing suit, putting on the bronzer and grabbing my dust rag...duty calls!

Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care...

Didn't make the postmark. And I don't care.

 Did Greed or Government get us here?

Movin' On Up

"Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind" Ecclesiastes 4:6

I love to see him come and hate to see him go...Arrival and Departure Day..oh how they feel so different. The same rain drops fall on the window pane today but the elating feeling of anticipation has been replaced with a dull dread. And the romance of meeting him with an umbrella on the subway stairs is overshadowed with the imminent last kiss and a closing cab door.... Sadness sets in like the dampness in the air.

Spent four glorious days in this grand city with my best friend sharing harmoniously decadent desserts, dirty dishes, and definitive decisions, affirming our belief that after three months apart, being together is better. Now I do love autonomy. Independence even more. 

New York is My Dream. But He's my Dreamboat. We're through spinning our wheels separately. And we want the new chapter to star us both.

Plan B in action.

Took a whole lot of tryin' just to get up that hill....

Now if a 500 square foot studio doesn't bring us closer, sharing one closet in Manhattan will.

"after you go I'll have a lot more room in my closet,after you go I'll stay out all night if I feel like it and when you're gone I could run through the house screaming and no one will ever hear me I really should be glad but I'm bluer than blue sadder than sad." B. Manilow

Could you live without your lover?

Yin and Yang

"For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him." Romans 10:12

New York City is an animate and inanimate living and not breathing concrete one of a kind piece of desirable art. With smoke billowing up through the sewer gaits and haunting shadows casted on the 1900's brick dispensary buildings, as black plastic trash bags float through the air past seagulls, the scenery is always changing.

 The sanitation brigade works around the clock loading all of our discarded immense luxuries brought in trucks to the island of plenty. After our Easter dinner party overlooking the pastel pink, green, and yellow drenched Empire State building we contributed ten empty glass bottles to the recycling bin and hundreds of of scrap paper from an dramatic fierce game of Celebrity. 

To work off deviled eggs, honeyed ham, cheesy polenta, and pent up competitive energy, we fought the blaring wind to the Hudson for an orange sunset past weeping cherries and Bradford pear trees growing under corrugated rusty tin roofs and metal scaffolding and toasted the dirty white caps of the river with a delightful sparkling bottle of Rose. The color and contrast involved in this city is so extreme....

Since I arrived in Manhattan, New Yorkers have recommended the wonderful adventure of taking the (free) Staten Island Ferry. So, absorbing the 60 degree weather and hand in hand with my visiting husband, we set out through Chinatown into Little Italy and left across Broadway for a taste of the perfect slice of hot cheese and dough (Bleeker Street Pizza) and an open air invigorating ferry ride on the convergence of the two rivers...

Here is where we ended up...

In a massive shuffling crowd of  300-400 Hassidic Jewish families into an air tight stuffy closed packed 30 minute slow moving boat to another island, where the point was to disembark, run as fast as you can through the terminal to embark on the ferry heading back to South Ferry in Manhattan and wave quickly at the beautiful passing lady.

But seriously, for the round trip hour ride listening to John Legend on shared headphones,  we soaked in late 18th century Eastern European customs and dress coupled with 21st century Converse clad tourists from suburban Illinois. Yiddish meets "dontcha know?"...  and the contrast was celebrated....

As we exited the boat ramp and held the door for two Buddhist Monks. I turned, grinned, and mouthed, I love this city.

Don't you love the fact that it takes all kinds?

Tuesday tune in: ABC Cupid. Pink Tie Pouring Wine.

Salvation. Whoo. Whoo.

"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" John 11:25-26

Hallelujah Christ is Risen. He lives. Conquered the grave. And covered my sins.

These words are the epitome of the Christian faith. 

And the promise we have in eternal life. Jesus is the Son of God who was crucified and buried and who rose from the dead. 

This is how we know he is the Lord of Lords and King of Kings.

Jesus Christ is not the leader of just another religion.

He is the creator of the world and you and me. 

The Apostle Paul tells us that a sinless God came to the Earth to die for the justification of our sins. And his tomb is empty.

This is why Christians celebrate Easter. It has nothing to do with furry yellow chicks, gooey marshmallow bunnies, pastel covered eggs, or ridiculous ornate hats. It has to do with Him being the truth, the life, and the way to God our Father.

One drop of his blood saves us all. From the one's who cried Hosanna to the one's who yelled crucify the King. We are all forgiven because He lives. And there is power in the blood.

The miracle of His resurrection is the cornerstone to our faith and without it there would not be Christianity.

As Christians we believe there is no more judgement in this life. The Crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus are the final payment of sins and the bridge to a long lasting relationship with God. For he so loved the world. Not just Jews, nor Gentiles, not straight, not gay, not black, nor just white. The WHOLE WORLD. And this provision of a new redeemed life is a gift, an opportunity, and its ours for the taking.

YES and to the skeptics who say Jesus was a great prophet, a good man, a strong leader, and a wise teacher, the truth is if the witnesses had not seen and believed his death and resurrection....the word of the Lord would not have spread across the globe and remained a life changing profound belief today.

This is how I respond to the resurrection of Jesus Christ. I do exactly what the Apostle Paul told the Philippians jailer. Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved. As you are sitting down to a greasy plate of buttermilk fried chicken, toasting your family with a mimosa in the morning, or still lost in the grass searching for the golden egg...

Will you bow down and ask the author of salvation, Jesus Christ into your heart?

And as I stand in victory

Sin has lost it's grip on me

For I am His.

And He is mine.

Bought with the precious blood in Christ.

No guilt in life

No fear in death.

This is the power of Christ in me.

From life's first cry 

to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny.

No power of hell

No scheme of man

can ever pluck me from his hand

Till He returns or calls me home.

Here in the power of Christ I stand.

It's Voluntary

“He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:24

Love cannot exist without the freedom to choose.

One of the greatest gifts in my Christian life is the freedom of will. 

 "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you." John 15:7

God commands us to make righteous decisions.

Problem is we've gone and done messed that up.

"We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way." Isaiah 53:6

Hallelujah because of Calvary we can walk in the promise of a Redeemed Life. And it's our CHOICE.

"But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does." James 1:25

Now I'm making the choice to snuggle up tight to my husband and fall asleep contently without writing anymore...

Isn't God good?

Did You Hear About...?

"Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to." 

Timothy 5:12-13

I just can't believe all the things people say --  Am I black or white? Am I straight or gay?  

Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me?  

Controversy Controversy 

I can't understand human curiosity --  Was it good for you? Was I what you wanted me to be?  Do you get high? Does your daddy cry?  

Controversy Controversy 

Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me? Some people wanna die so they can be free  

Life is just a game, we're all just the same...do you wanna play? 

Controversy Controversy

 Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever 

Controversy Controversy Controversy 

Love Him, Love Him baby 

Controversy Controversy Controversy 

Listen People call me rude, I wish we were all nude

 I wish there was no black and white, I wish there were no rules

 Controversy Controversy

 Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me? Let me tell ya...

 Some people wanna die so they can be free I said. Life is just a game, we're all just the same...don't ya wanna play?

 Controversy Controversy Controversy Controversy

--The One, The Only Prince

I'm reconditioning my censorship.

 If I didn't groove in the taboo tango, I would not be true to myself.  

From Sexuality to Suicide. Affirmative Action to Prayer In Public. Everyone has a viewpoint.

Down for a dubious dance?

Peace Man

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

God calls us to live in Peace. Not in Angst.

Catholic Bishops are blasting that he is a poor choice to be a keynote speaker at Notre Dame. He's the President of the United States for crying out loud.

And the Left is blaming O'Reilly and Beck for inciting violence because they discuss the state of our nation.  As if every single person you watch on the IDIOT BOX isn't moaning and groaning about our economic affairs?  

Ugh, I love mankind but we all need a swift kick in the ass. Breathe in through the nose....

Every day in more ways I am designating New York City as its own entity. An Eccentric Republic...

You would think with all of the aggressive activity, purposeful pushing, and collective cacophony of sounds, it would be hard to snag a nature moment. Quite the contrary.

There are 1,700 parks in New York City. And they stand out like a palm tree in the desert.

In the midst of running errands through Greenwich Village today, I stumbled into the perfect picture of a 55 degree Spring Day in Washington Square Park where thousands of faces, all from different backgrounds had flocked to the 10 acres of green space to dwell.

The park is named for the first President of the United States, George Washington who was inaugurated in New York City.  Once a burial ground, turned public gallows, from beatniks hangout with the likes Kerouac and Dylan to a drug dealing haven for vagrants and misfits, WSP has seen some excitement in its day. ( Not your suburban playground!) 

Today was no different. I first noticed the budding tulip trees blushing against the brick and asphalt and the cherry blossoms littering the sidewalks. In my admiration of spring unfolding, I was nearly knocked off my boots by a man wearing massive 1970's headphones singing John Cougar's, "Little Pink Houses" at the top of his lungs. Dodging the dancer, I observed closely two middle aged Rastafarian's debating over a keen chess move one had just performed and a large group of Asians applauding the break dancing boogaloo boys who were spinning on their heads with nothing but worn bandannas separating their skull from the sidewalk.  I sauntered past the intense boccee players and NYU students to the northeast corner to find a piece of warm bench under the arch.  As I ate my packed sandwich and fumbled with the Arts section of the NY Times, I took in the sounds of an amazing jazz quintet harmonizing their horn sounds and bass rhythms as couples danced arm in arm in front of the trumpet case full of dollar bills. 

Now where are the bohemians with my special dessert?

A blessed lunch hour indeed. Full of free peace. 

Oh but aint that america for you and me
Aint that america were someting to see baby
Aint that america, home of the free

Little pink houses for you and me.

How you living?

Love Your Mate

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:25

Iowa-“We are firmly convinced that the exclusion of gay and lesbian people from the institution of civil marriage does not substantially further any important governmental objective,” declared Justice Mark Cady, writing for the court.

Vermont"-We've shown that truth and fairness and justice and love are more powerful than one man's veto pen," said Beth Robinson, chairwoman of the Vermont Freedom to Marry Task Force.

And then there were four.

Oh, how I wish it wasn't midnight and my eyelids weren't gaining weight by the second. I don't know how to tackle this effectively with conviction and diplomacy as my stream of consciousness is going on auto-pilot.  Here's to the effort...

My friend's Equal Rights rally and celebration in Union Square tonight challenged me to question where I stand...and I still stand firm.

I BELIEVE IN FREEDOM OF CHOICE.

"I'll worry about me, you worry about you. I'll believe what I believe. And you can believe what you believe too. You do your thing. I'll do mine." Montgomery Gentry

Civil Rights are personal and natural liberties protected by the US Constitution. Amongst others, they include freedom of speech, right to vote, and protection from discrimination based on race, gender, original origin, age, or religion.

From Women's Suffrage to Black Civil Rights Movement and now Gay Rights, they all fought and continuously struggle for Equality...

Loving vs. Virginia 1967 was preposterous to begin with but a landmark civil rights case that ended all marriage restrictions based on race.  ONLY Forty years ago, this was so shocking to Americans. And now has become almost commonplace. 

Our President of the United States is a product of a mixed union after all. 

Ask yourself or anyone in your vicinity. Do you believe that civil liberties should be denied based on sexual preference? Do you believe we should withhold equal protection of the law or disallow jobs or housing to homosexuals? My guess is a healthy portion would say no.

Okay, then what about marriage? Is this where the Equality Ends?  

I'm DONE hearing that it will ruin the sanctity of marriage. 

I'm losing faith in the argument of promiscuity....

I question the optimal environment to raise children...

Why can you, if they can't? 

All Along the Watchtower

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13

Headline Today: NY Pride -A former Staten Island Episcopal pastor is charged with stealing more than $84,000 from his church for his botox injections, multiple plastic surgeries, and prescription drugs.- Staten Island Advance

In grade school, there was a boy who was in my class, Kindergarten through 5th grade. He was the first person I ever met who not only had three names but a number IV that followed....I adored this kid.  He left the room every morning we said The Pledge of Allegiance to America. His name was on the absentee list every holiday party. And he did not participate in some of our monumental Elementary school plays..(Rainbow Connection anybody) It wasn't until I was ten years old when I realized, all of these occurrences I absolutely and gladly relished in were against his religion. Seriously, there were NO thin mints in his freezer. Girl Scout Cookies were sacrilege.

After my wardrobe fitting this morning for the new Sarah Jessica Parker film in Manhattan (I wish it was the sequel), I skipped to the 6 subway heading uptown and found my cozy 1/2 seat. The bearded man to my right proceeded to spread his arms as wide as he could while opening his Daily News smack dab in front of my face...when a piece of paper fell out and on to the floor, I looked over at him and smiled. (people throw their trash on the ground here all the time). 

To my amazement, he looked back at me and nodded towards the pamphlet laying on the rain soaked floor. I smiled again. Again he nodded. So awkwardly, I bent over and picked it up.

On the front of the three fold flier was a picture of the solar system and read..."The Greatest Name".   As I scanned the words on my surreal ride to 60th and 5th, it repeatedly referenced The Koran, Allah, Paradise, and Jehovah..but no Jesus Christ.  It quickly dawned on me.... 

The metro was my front door, the bearded man just knocked and The "governing body" of Jehovah Witnesses in Brooklyn, NY had spoken.

If Heaven is limited only to 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses, I wonder if my news hound neighbor is going?

As if rules weren't difficult enough to follow...I would rather attempt to abide by one. 

 "The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:14

Isn't that hard enough?

Petulant Peeves

"Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud." Proverbs 16:9

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old Sometimes I'd like to quit. Nothing ever seems to fit Hangin' around Nothing to do but frown Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down

I feel you Karen.

Remember when I said New York is a city of extremes? 

Today, I'm dwelling in the nether region.

Feeling like I have hit the customary brick wall with the job search. Wondering if I'm doing physical detriment to my marriage in this separation ( texting and IM'ing isn't satisfying this itch). I've fallen prey to the dangers of writing for a living as I combat writers block with crunchy peanut butter. My grand highlight today is I pulled my coins together for a Trader Joes mid grade drinkable bottle of comfort. I'm starting to suffer from OCD as I check my phone every few minutes anticipating that call from The New York Times wanting to give me a weekly spot as a Sunday Editorial Writer....

The best news about being redeemed in Christ's love is that nothing I do will make him love me more and nothing I do can make him love me less. 

Pastor Bojan at City Light Church preached that God loves Ugly.

Well, he's loving me today.

Two occurrences that affected my mood more than I am than proud of...

1. I love my 10x12 room in the morning. It is situated on the Northeastern corner of my building, (when I pull the shades) sunshine pours through the windows, spreads across my face and feeds my thriving peace Lilly. It gives me a false sense of the outside temperature and a fresh outlook to my hopes (or not) for the new day. With the exception of 45-50 minute respite as the sun passes by the new gargantuan building erecting next door. My room gets a serious dose of Vitamin D all day long.

Here is what else is happening all day long...the minute my eyes adjust to the light and stare into  the building next door, there it is. The television on the 5th floor is stuck on PBS or Cartoon Network ALL DAY LONG. And the two year old boy who lives there is fixated directly in front of it. ALL DAY LONG.  I have caught glimpses of the live in nanny's kerchiefed head...cooking in the kitchen or piddling in the laundry room, but not one time have I seen her hold him or hit the off button.  Apparently money can't buy affection.

It's Elmo to rise and Elmo to bed.  And yep, I'm one of the most opinionated non moms there is.

2. I belong to a great neighborhood gym. Located in the heart of Tribeca and two blocks from my house. It's three stories, equipped with every cardio and weight machine imaginable, has a gorgeous waterfall flowing in between floors and emptying into a reflecting pool by the locker room entrances...a steam room where I have fought the winter woes and a massive dance room with floor to ceiling mirrors and a polished maple floor where I have envisioned my Broadway premiere. The icing on the cake, it is virtually empty and remotely peaceful. Most of the time. Except when the meathead is there. Oh you can't miss him. He grunts the most gutteral sounds, slams down weights, flexes in the mirror while breathing heavy and attempting to drowned the deafening sound of his blaring IPod. Drips sweat in a puddle staring at Rock of Love on the television. Treating it like his own personal gymnasium for freaks; He is clueless to the fact that anyone else is around, God Forbid relaxing with their own workout. As he tightened his butt muscles in his minuscule shorts, I resisted the urge to scream," women don't find that sexy..!!!" After his last rep of, by the sound of it, giving birth, I rose calmly, walked over and looked at him like only Vince Neil can sing about and left the gym more keyed up than Roid himself.

Shoo-whee.

Tomorrow night is my background debut. SVU. I'm the one in the brown hat. Blink and you'll miss me. Now I gotta find more change for the popcorn...

Do other's actions affect your state of mind? 

Luffin and Limin

"They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting, "Hosanna! " "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" "Blessed is the King of Israel!" John 12:13

I don't know how many churches are in Manhattan and respective Burroughs but I am blessed beyond belief and don't believe in chance that I found City Light Church as soon as I did. Spent two hours worshiping  the Cross on Calvary and fellowshiping over gloriously typical Manhattan Margherita pizza with a huge body of diverse believers....

With my aloof earthly securities. He's my Captain.

I am saved by Grace.Love Abounding, Mercy has found me. I do not know where I would be without His Grace. But this town would be a whole lot scarier...Surrendering is the strongest action I do.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."2 Corinthians 12:9

Rose early this Palm Sunday morning and  embarked on a decent run from Lower Manhattan to Chelsea Piers. I wasn't the only one to get a jump start on this impeccable Spring Day....as I dodged a many of bare chested souls.
On my way home...  Stopping at Christopher Street to watch the beautiful yachts underway in the New York Harbor sailing towards the Statue of Liberty...I fell to my knees remembering my dear friend and unmatchable sailor David Geiger who taught me not only everything I know about sailing but that there's is no feeling better than the wind in your hair, and sun on your face...I wrote about the first time we sailed together eight years ago and how I relished in the feeling of riding the wind. Allow me to share...

---A day sail turned into an extended long weekend just by steering the tiller a few degrees left.  I tossed off the jib sheet and winched it hard onto the cleat.  We sailed in fast, as the wind switched the sails to an intense locomotive's steam and we glided across the glassy surface.  Hauled over on one side so my feet were touching the salty Caribbean water, the sea mist stung our smiling eyes.  Easing into a soggy white bay and turquoise sky.... Diamonds glistened on the surface of the aquamarine mother ocean.  Spoke with some local color but found my solace in the cockpit of the 26 foot Bristol watching the sun fade and the moon rise.  Days passed like minutes. And minutes like blinks. Sailing home at dusk the volcanic isle covered in tire  and coconut palms turned a burnt orange, sipping hot tea made in the galley,  watching the horizon and keeping the course,  I caught the sailing spirit. I'm abandoning my career as a reporter because I have realized my true calling. 

Thanks Willful. --2001 

"Yes, I am a pirate, 200 years too late.  The cannons don't thunder, there's nothing to plunder, I'm an over thirty victim of fate arriving too late."     JB

I got up off my knees, wiped my tears and I hurried home to call the Manhattan and New York Yacht Clubs...they've got a new crew member in town.

"If you want to sing out, sing out. And if you want to be free, be free cause theres a million things to be...You know that there are.
And if you want to live high, live high. And if you want to live low, live low.  If you want to say yes, say yes. If you want to say no, say no.cause theres a million ways to go.. You know that there are." Cat Stevens

Are your sails full?

Phenomenal Woman

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight." Ephesians 1:4

"While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation." Maya Angelou

Saturday Morning. This city has so many brilliant moments going on that only a few eyes amongst 8 million are catching. Having an impromptu brunch on the 21st floor of my building with fellow neighbors, we watched red balloons floating amongst the cranes, black smoke billowing from chimney's, couples making out against the warped water towers. The thunderclouds gathered around the Chrysler's spire all over eggs benedict and transplanting jade and orchid plants to the Frank Sinatra hour . Or was that a  dream? Hard to tell here.
In my waking hour, there is a renewed spirit. And if I can just weed through the naysayers. Or nay say through their weed.

I have a friend buzzing in my ear about EVERY choice I have made up until now (30+years) and advice on  all the decisions I will make here forth. It doesn't necessarily matter what I am discussing or debating, His argument nine times out of ten is, "I mean look at Maya Angelou, she was a hooker. Now , look at her." 

I'm not sure what to make of that statement other than against my former judgement I am heading to Barney's tonight to prostiti.. I mean present myself to a of form of money making I didn't think was in me.  Entering into the wild and wacky world of cosmetics in Manhattan. Where Image is everything and Money is no object.  

Hey I know what I said, but every situation is content and a writer's got to make her living somewhere.

And again giving kudos to David Sedaris, this is just my five-star Santaland...

FYI, Pulitzer prize nominated proffesor, Writer, dancer, African-American activist. Born Marguerite Johnson spent her difficult formative years moving back and forth between her mother's and grandmother's. At age eight, she was raped by her mother's boyfriend, who was subsequently killed by her uncles. The horrific event caused her go mute for nearly six years, and her teens and early twenties were spent as a dancer, filled with serious isolation and sexual experimentation...

“Nothing will work unless you do.” M. A.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” M. A.

What's building your character. Conflict or Complacency?